Romantic relationships are usually full of disagreements, issues, and conflicts, but an emotionally drained relationship is the most difficult to deal with.
Often, some people get to a stage in their relationship that makes them say, “my relationship is draining me.” You may also hear some wives say, “My husband is emotionally draining me.” When a romantic relationship gets to this stage, the partners aren’t getting along as expected.
The beginning of a typical romantic relationship is often full of blissful events and lovely memories. However, many reasons can make a seemingly perfect relationship toxic and unhealthy. As time goes on, such a relationship becomes an emotionally drained relationship.
Of course, no one ever goes into a relationship, envisioning that it will turn into an emotionally exhausting relationship. Nonetheless, when you don’t feel the spark again and your relationship continues to affect your mental health, it’s time to seek solutions.
At first, you may feel like leaving once you become emotionally exhausted in a relationship, but seeking a solution is the first step. Knowing how to fix an emotionally draining relationship should be your next option. After all, you must have invested considerable time and energy.
The question is, how to fix an emotionally draining relationship? While it won’t be a walk in a Park fixing an emotionally exhausting relationship, it is not impossible. So, what does emotionally draining mean? Keep reading to learn more.
What does it mean to be in an emotionally draining relationship?
Before you know how to fix an emotionally draining relationship, you must first understand what does emotionally drained mean.
Typically, a healthy relationship is full of happy moments and occasional disagreements. Just because a relationship seems perfect doesn’t mean there are no conflicts. The best of relationships comes with issues once in a while. However, the couples usually find ways to solve the issues.
If you ever feel stressed or fearful anytime you think about your partner or the relationship, then you are in an emotionally draining marriage or emotionally draining relationship.
An emotionally drained relationship makes you feel you are doing many things wrong. You constantly feel you lack support despite having a partner. When people talk about great things happening in their relationship, you find it challenging to relate. Why? That’s because you have no similar experience.
Similarly, when you are in an emotional burnout relationship, you either feel insecure or have an insecure partner. An insecure partner drains a relationship, which directly affects you as the partner.
Feeling emotionally exhausted in a relationship means you are frustrated. There is no chance for constant or healthy communication in such a relationship. Therefore, it isn’t easy to give your partner your best.
The first instinct of anyone in an emotionally draining marriage or relationship is to leave. Nevertheless, feeling drained in a relationship doesn’t always mean you need to break up with your romantic partner. Instead, you should seek how to stop being emotionally draining.
Also, it is important to know how to fix an emotionally draining relationship.
What are the signs of an emotionally draining person?
There are situations where you may feel you are in an exhausting relationship, but not sure. It might help to know the common traits of an emotionally draining person before you declare your relationship as an emotionally drained one.
The following are the common traits of an emotionally draining person:
1. No chance for healthy communication
If your partner makes you feel emotionally exhausted in a relationship, you will notice there is no chance for communication. And this is concerning as communication is a predictor of relationship satisfaction, according to research.
When there is a relationship problem, partners should communicate and solve it. But an emotionally draining person sees no need for “small talks.” They would instead move on as nothing happened than talk about the issue.
One of the signs of an emotionally draining person is irresponsibility. Usually, when you complain about a specific behavior you don’t like in your partner, they are supposed to listen and change ultimately.
Experts point out that not taking responsibility for one’s actions and blaming the other person for problems destroys relationships.
For an emotionally draining person, it’s the opposite. They are aware of their flaws and the effects on their partner, but they usually choose to ignore them. Instead of accepting their faults, they shift the blame on you, making you feel guilty for their actions.
3. They are insecure
Another common trait of an emotionally draining person is insecurity. An insecure person has often dealt with many negative situations that make them question their partner and the relationship.
For instance, an insecure person drains a relationship with attitudes such as constant argument and lack of trust. Also, they may have trouble having meaningful conversations and taking constructive feedback.
4. Belittles you
If you have an emotionally draining partner, you will constantly feel belittled. The truth is such a person takes joy in using hurtful remarks and statements to make you feel discouraged. Consequently, this affects your self-esteem and ability to pursue your dreams or interests.
If you are emotionally exhausted in a relationship, you will always look forward to being alone rather than being with your partner. That’s because a relationship with an emotionally draining person is full of arguments, fights, and the exchange of words.
You will naturally look forward to being alone when you think about the exhausting nature of your relationship. Me-time is important in all relationships, but it becomes necessary for emotionally exhausting relationships.
6. Won’t meet your needs
In an emotionally drained relationship, you need to understand that your needs aren’t important. An emotionally draining person will make you feel like your needs are enormous. They will also make you think you have the right to request anything, whether emotional, financial, or psychological.
7. Won’t support you
Partners are supposed to motivate and encourage each other in their endeavors. However, dating an emotionally draining person is more complicated than you think. They see no need to support you, and even when you ask, they make you feel you are asking too much.
15 pointers on how to repair an emotionally draining relationship
Once you know the common traits of an emotionally draining person, you need to know how to fix an emotionally draining relationship. While it is difficult to think of solutions right away, fixing it can be enlightening.
1. Evaluate the problem
The first step to fixing an emotionally draining relationship is to acknowledge the problems in your relationship. Don’t expect the problems to go away on their own without solving them. If you do, the issues will resurface in the future, probably more complicated than they were.
Therefore, if you feel you are in an emotional burnout relationship, start by identifying any issue, no matter how little.
You might have heard that communication is important in any relationship. It is even more essential when you feel drained in a relationship or an emotionally draining marriage. Even your emotionally draining partner disregards your need to communicate, you have to force them to listen.
That is the only way you can make your feelings known. Look for a time your partner will be calm and talk to them. If you can set up a meeting, try texting them or using social media channels.
It’s hard to know how to fix an emotionally draining relationship if you don’t know what you want in your marriage or relationship. Often, you hear some partner say, my husband is emotionally draining me, or I am in an emotionally drained relationship, yet they aren’t doing anything to solve the problem.
The truth is they don’t know what they want out of the relationship. Before fixing your relationship, you must highlight what you want out of the relationship as a partner. That way, it’s easy to communicate with your partner.
4. Focus on yourself
Being in an emotionally drained relationship is one thing; constantly thinking about it is another issue. The constant thoughts you experience in an emotional burnout relationship can leave you feeling exhausted.
Instead of worrying too much about your partner, which is unhealthy, shift the attention to yourself. Love yourself more and do what you love the most. Focus on your happiness and the people that care about you.
5. Love yourself more
Similar to focusing on yourself in a draining relationship is loving yourself more. It is easy to forget who you are in an exhausting relationship.
Remember the time you were happy and cheerful. What made you happy then? Imagine what you will do for someone you love, then do more of that for yourself.
An emotionally drained relationship can make you feel sick or look haggard with time. It does affect not only your mental health but also your physical well-being. Therefore, take care of your body and eat good food.
While a healthy body and soul do not relate directly to fixing your exhausting relationship, it is a way of rejuvenating yourself when you are feeling exhausted.
7. Ask more questions
Every conversation with an emotionally draining person comes with fear, uncertainties, and sadness. Nonetheless, changing your relationship means bracing up to whatever will happen. Prepare yourself by asking important questions instead of winning the argument.
For example, if your partner suddenly yells, you should ask why they react that way. Also, you may ask why they feel your input is less important in conversations. These questions will take them back and make them think.
8. Listen to your partner
Why should you listen to your partner when they don’t listen to you? Well, it might help you see their perspective better. Remember, we are on a quest to fix your emotionally draining relationship.
Therefore, you need to consider other options. Listen to your partner and consider whether you might be at fault or none of you is at fault after all.
Check out this video to learn more about the power of listening:
9. Talk to your loved ones
Speaking with your friends or family members may not be easy, but it might help you deal with an emotionally draining partner. Ensure the individuals you confide in are loyal to you and offer you the necessary support without judgment.
10. Identify what you can do
Usually, individuals dealing with an exhausting relationship often pay more attention to what their partner isn’t doing. Remember, the relationship is about the two of you. So, instead of complaining about your partner every time, focus on what you can do to fix the relationship.
Try your best to create a healthy relationship even if your partner isn’t responding well. Eventually, if it doesn’t work out, you will know you will try your best.
11. Believe in your ability
Knowing how to fix an emotionally drained relationship can be exhausting. Sometimes you will want to give up. However, one thing that can help you is to believe you can make it work.
Yes! There is nothing wrong with fixing your relationship if it’s important to you. So, don’t feel guilty for trying. Instead, be strong enough to see the bright side.
12. Consider a change of environment together
In an emotionally draining marriage, the partners usually live together in the same house. If you feel emotionally exhausted, you should suggest leaving your present location together. For example, try a weekend getaway together or a short trip to another country.
13. Spend some time apart
Whether you are in an emotionally draining marriage or an emotionally drained relationship, you need to take a break. Understand that you are not breaking up with your partner. You only want to understand and rediscover yourself more.
Being in an emotionally drained relationship can make you feel lost, but leaving the negative environment might offer you new perspectives.
14. Remember the good memories
Another feasible way on how to stop being emotionally draining in your relationship is to relive memories.
Your present situation might condition you to hate your partner, yourself, or the relationship. However, if you reminisce and see how you and your partner started, you might see more ways to create a loving relationship like before.
If you have tried all means to fix your exhausting relationship and nothing seems to work, you need to seek an expert’s opinion. For instance, a person experiencing an emotionally draining marriage should see a marriage counselor. A marriage counselor or therapist has been trained to solve relationship-related problems.
A typical relationship is full of ups and downs. Nonetheless, if you ever feel stressed, frustrated, or unhappy when you think about your partner, you might be in an emotionally drained relationship. Once you notice the common traits of an emotionally draining person, it is time to seek solutions.
Instead of brooding over the issues, you should be concerned about fixing an emotionally draining relationship. Suppose nothing changes after trying to fix an emotionally draining relationship; then you should seek the opinion of a marriage counselor or therapist. Also, you may read some relationship books or courses curated by relationship experts.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.