In This Article
In This Article
If there is nowhere to turn or seek advice, don’t get discouraged or think of breaking it off.
The answer to conquering obstacles and improving the relationship might just be lying in finding a good relationship counselor.
Relationship counseling is a psychotherapy modality focused on:
Relationship counseling is a type of talk therapy that allows partners to articulate thoughts and express emotions in a safe environment.
Relationship counseling helps partners question their set ways of communication, justifications, victimizations and blaming games.
Talking about relationship problems leads to a better understanding of the causes and illuminates a potential road to resolving them. Additionally, it invites clients to try each other’s shoes on for size and see the world from their perspective.
When this process is successful, it leads to a better understanding of each other and greater empathy. The perspective shift usually increases the desire to improve and provide more support to the partner.
The relationship therapist is not the judge who determines the one who is right and the one who needs to change. Change is needed on both ends.
A relationship counselor:
Feeling heard and understood can repair trust and re-establish a desire to work on the relationship.
Besides the opportunity to share and express, the therapist helps partners learn how to better set boundaries, say no and ask for what they feel they need.
Motivation is key and therefore the therapist will frequently reflect on qualities partners value in each other that drives them to invest in the relationship.
One of the key learning elements is knowing what to do when the discussion heats up and words spiral out of control, hurting the other person. When you can take control of your words and actions you can stop the downward spiral.
A therapist helps partners understand the meaning hidden behind words in the realm of unspoken needs.
Benefits of the relationship therapy can be reaped by those on the brink of break up as well as those on the brink of marriage.
Most often people look for a relationship specialist when the relationship issues have prolonged and the relationship is in danger.
Healing is possible and relationships can be salvaged even when divorce is looming, but sooner is always better when it comes to asking for help.
Turn to therapy before all other resources are exhausted and both partners are drained from fighting. Relationship therapy has more chances of success if you turn to a therapist when you notice (same or similar) relationship challenges keep coming back.
How couples dispute is often more related to divorce potential than the topic of argument. Therefore, working with a therapist to reduce negative communication and conflict can increase the quality of life and lower the potential for divorce.
The relationship help can sometimes come too late, so don’t hesitate to ask for it on time.
Here are some of the signs you need relationship counseling:
However, there are no wrong reasons and starting counseling sooner can only be beneficial for the relationship.
It can help prevent some problems from developing through effective communication. Studies have found that premarital education was linked with increased satisfaction and marital commitment, as well as reduced conflict and odds of divorce.
Relationship counseling is not limited to couples. It can also be useful for:
Relationship therapy, like any other therapy, increases stress and discomfort for some time.
Anxiety is a companion of change and this can be upsetting for many. Rest assured it is a part of the process and it gets better.
However, this is not given, and you need to put in the work.
In fact, both parties do.
Furthermore, for many it is unpleasant, to say the least, to open up in front of a third party. Nevertheless, honesty is critical and without it, therapy success is endangered.
Finally, there is a potential that one of the partners has decided to come to therapy to attempt and fail. They might be unmotivated to do the work and this too can become clear much faster in this kind of change-seeking environment.
Furthermore, one of the risk factors is having a dual relationship. Perhaps you are wondering what is a dual relationship in counseling.
A dual relationship refers to a scenario where multiple roles exist between the therapist and the client(s).
Relationship psychology does not recommend dual relationship as one can affect the other, and vice versa. This is especially common in small places, but there is a solution for it in the form of online relationship counseling.
Online marriage and family counseling can be as effective as in-person when you find the proper therapist for you.
Online couples counseling allows you to work with the therapist of your choice and avoid the risk of dual relationships.
You can always ask your friends and family for recommendations but if you don’t want to venture there then you can go online. Just search for “relationship counseling near me” or “relationship therapist near me” to find a list of professional relationship therapists in your area. You can even go for online relationship counselling sessions with reputed counselors.
The first couple of sessions are the most anxiety-provoking while you are getting to know your therapist and forming an alliance.
Be prepared to allow these feelings to exist. The beginning of anything new is uneasy, but if we never attempt anything new we will never change or improve.
Initially, the focus will be on:
How much time it will take depends on many factors, like motivation to change, therapeutic approach and alliance made.
Try to be honest, open and share.
This can improve the outcome of the whole process. At any given time, if you or both of you decide this is not working for you, try to understand why not.
Is it the techniques used, is it the person working with you or is it your relationship?
What needs to change so the therapy process has a greater chance of success?
It is easy to give up and that is available at any given time.
However, if you are in therapy it means you want to try and if so, give it a real chance. Perhaps you can discuss with your partner how much time do you both want to invest before looking for alternative solutions.
Nationwide, the average cost is $80 to $90 per hour depending on the counselor and the location. Online sessions can be more affordable, starting at $30 per hour.
If your insurance is not covering the cost, inquiring about the cost of relationship counseling can be important.