How to Revive a Dead Marriage
If you’ve been looking up tips on how to revive a dead marriage, you know your relationship is in some serious trouble.
Your relationship started great. You and your partner were passionately in love. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. If you had free time, there was only one person you wanted to spend it with- the love of your life.
But, over time, you’ve felt that emotional and physical intimacy weaken. Why did this happen?
It comes down to this simple phrase: You get what you give. If you haven’t been devoting your time or energy to your relationship, you may end up in a lifeless marriage.
You may feel like your marriage is dying, but don’t give up hope. With a little effort, you can revive the spark that made your relationship come alive.
Don’t take your marriage for granted. Keep reading to learn 5 tips on how to revive a dead marriage.
5 Steps to Take for Reviving a Dead Marriage
As much as we wish there were a “revive marriage spell,” the reality of how to save a dying marriage requires a little more effort.
Nobody wants to be in a dead-end marriage, and the good news is, you don’t have to! If you feel your marriage is dying, you can take proactive steps to make it the relationship you always dreamed of.
Keep reading for the best tips on how to revive a dead marriage.
1. Spend More Time Together
If you’re looking for tips on how to revive a marriage, look no further than date night.
The National Marriage Project has posted extensive research on how quality time affects romance.
The study, called ‘The Date Night Opportunity,’ shows how important a regular date night is to a marriage.
A regular date night (going out one or more times a month) has been shown to improve communication between romantic partners.
Date night is an opportunity to leave your worries and your kids at home. It helps couples to refocus on each other and create a deeper bond, mutual understanding, and a sense of trust and security.
The study also brings out that there is a novelty to a date night that can improve a marriage.
A date night is fun. It’s a chance for a couple to get out of their routine and spice things up.
In order to achieve the novel quality that a date night brings, couples must learn to think outside the box.
Studies have suggested that couples are happier when they are trying new things together. Think: learning something new together, exploring a hobby, dancing, and playing games as opposed to the traditional dinner and a movie.
Spending quality time with your spouse is a chance to de-stress.
Stress is one of the biggest enemies of a happy, healthy marriage. It is dangerous for your health and can negatively impact your libido.
Quality time with your partner is a great way to renew your commitment to the marriage. When couples are happy, they are more likely to experience stable, satisfying relationships.
A dead-end, boring marriage can be saved. Date night helps recommit couples because they are actively choosing to spend their free time together. They are focusing on bonding and having fun together. Not only does this build commitment, but it also contributes to eros or erotic love.
2. Take Proactive Steps
If you want to learn how to revive a marriage, you’ll be in the right mindset. Never think ‘my marriage is dead,’ think ‘my marriage needs me.’ This change in perspective will help you to have a positive outlook on your future together.
One great tip is to take the Save My Marriage course offered by Marriage.com
This course is designed to help couples through the inevitable ups and downs of marriage.
The Save My Marriage Course is made up of four chapters.
The first chapter focuses on:
- Pinpointing why your marriage is dying
- Remembering the reasons why your marriage is worth saving
- Understanding the importance of working together
- Reminding yourselves why you fell in love, to begin with
The second chapter teaches couples:
- How to find happiness
- Repattern your thoughts and focus on your partner
- Changing for the better
The third chapter is all about rebuilding and connecting. Couples will:
- Learn how to restore trust
- Give and receive forgiveness
- Communicate on a deeper level
- Resolve conflict in a healthy manner
- Restore emotional intimacy
The final chapter of the Save My Marriage course will teach couples how to recouple, accept imperfections, and turn negative interactions into positive ones.
Don’t wait until you feel like your marriage is dead to start turning things around. By taking proactive steps, you can save your marriage.
3. Take Care of Yourselves– Inside and Out
Part of learning how to revive a dead marriage is learning how to take care of yourself.
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to be complacent. Continue to grow and learn new things about yourself and each other.
Another great idea to revive marriage is to work out and take care of your body.
Your appearance isn’t everything, but when you feel good on the outside, you tend to feel good on the inside. Plus, it gives you and your partner something exciting to look at.
Marriage is dying? Revive it with exercise. Exercise is good for your physical and mental health, so why not work out as a couple?
Working out with a partner has been shown to encourage spouses to stick to their exercise regime and keep the weight off.
Exercise is also a great way to relieve stress and focus on teamwork and goal-sharing.
4. Go to Couples Counseling
If you think your marriage is dead, it’s time to take some serious steps. Suggest couple’s counseling to your spouse and see what they think about it.
Your partner may not be comfortable sharing personal problems with a stranger, but reassure them of the benefits you will receive by attending.
Your counselor can walk you through the stages of a dying marriage and help you pinpoint what you can do to move forward.
When you take the time to revive a dying relationship through counseling, you learn how to:
- Banish ineffective patterns
- Get to the bottom of the troubles in your marriage
- Reduce pointless arguments by learning how to communicate effectively
- Increase marital satisfaction
- Learn how to revive your marriage back into the healthy, happy partnership you once shared
Marriage counseling doesn’t have to last for the rest of your relationship. Most couples benefit from 5-10 sessions.
Your counselor will help you create goals for you to reach as a couple. Not only are these healthy milestones that can rehabilitate your relationship, but they also help couples to work as a team.
5. Communicate Regularly
The Journal of Marriage and Family reports that happy couples are more likely to communicate with one another. In turn, the more open a couple is about their wants and needs, the more likely they are to report high levels of marital satisfaction.
This creates a positive cycle of communication and happiness.
In the video below, Mike Potter shares 6 stages of marriage communication. Find out:
On the other hand, marital distress (or you might say ‘marital disinterest’) often leads to negative communication behaviors and poor problem-solving skills.
So, how can you turn things around?
Start small. You don’t have to communicate about your deepest, darkest fears to get closer to your partner. Begin with something simple like asking your partner about their day.
Another great idea for how to revive your marriage is to take thirty minutes a day to talk. Turn your phones off and enjoy some quality alone time where you can talk about anything you want. Making a practice of tech-free time together will help you to boost vulnerability and trust.
Don’t keep communication in the kitchen – take it into the bedroom! Studies show that sexual communication is positively associated with sexual satisfaction.
Not only does communication result in greater sexual satisfaction in both men and women, but women who communicate with their partners are more likely to achieve orgasm.
Never think ‘my marriage is dead’ – think positive! There are plenty of methods on how to revive a marriage.
You can fix a dying relationship by spending more time together.
Quality time and regular date nights can help improve communication, romance and improve sexual and emotional intimacy. Couples who have a regular date night are also less likely to end up divorced.
Take proactive steps to heal your marriage by taking Marriage.com’s Save My Marriage Course.
If you want to dig deeper, seek the couple’s counseling. Your therapist can get you both on the same track and improve your communication methods.
Taking care of your mental and physical health is another great way to rekindle the spark you once shared with your spouse. The better your mental and physical health, the happier you will be in other aspects of your life.
Think your marriage is dying? Think again.
Learning how to revive a dead marriage doesn’t have to be a daunting task. Think good thoughts. Instead of believing that your marriage is dead, view this time in your life as a fun new challenge to reconnect with your spouse and build something great.
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Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.