How to Rebuild a Marriage: Here’s an 7-Step Rescue Plan
Marriage is an intimate legal relationship that’s respected all around the world. Trust holds great importance in turning an unhappy marriage into a successful one. However, building trust and in result making your married life a happier one requires some investments and comprises from both spouses. But it’s also to be noted that trust, which lays the foundation of a contented life after marriage, isn’t achieved in days. It’s something you need to work for continuously, especially if your marriage is facing problems. Rebuilding your marriage is where trust plays a vital role.
If you’re facing marital issues and which to rebuild your marriage, here are 7 steps that can offer some help:
1. Make a commitment
Before you eventually make an effort, it’s very crucial to make be committed to the cause. Actions are based upon intentions, and thus, for rebuilding your marriage, first, what you intend to do should be made clear, especially to yourself.
You need to be clear about what you hope to work on and that you really want to put in the work to rebuild a marriage. Knowing what your goals are, helps you to create a path to achieve them. Your heart needs to be invested rebuilding what you lost.
2. Remove the obstacles
Another important aspect is to figure out what is hindering your path to a happy marriage. Mainly, such obstacles occur because sometimes, you might have failed in at least one of these four deterrents necessary in rebuilding your marriage: not forgiving, unfriendly interactions, untrustworthiness and the doubt of having your trust broken again (feeling betrayed).
Take Quiz: Is Your Marriage Bliss, Or A Miss?
So, focus on eliminating those hurdles in order to build the foundation of a blissful married life. Don’t be hesitant to have a conversation with your spouse about such issues.
3. Explore what “Relationship happiness means to both of you”
How would you characterize relationship satisfaction? And more critically, how does your mate characterize relationship satisfaction? While you consider that, consider this: Only three things make 90% of relationship joyful, they are love, trust, and open correspondences. However, even then, no all-inclusive equation or formula for relationship joy exists. It’s an exceedingly altered and extremely individual experience for every other person.
For instance, how you characterize bliss and fulfilment in a marriage may be profoundly different in relation to your spouse. Things that make you feel loved may not be the same things that make your spouse feel loved.
So, it’s advised that you accept this concept and rediscover what relationship joy means to you and your significant other. Make efforts to know what you both want and then use that knowledge to strengthen your bond.
4. Adjust your demands
Most marriages experience issues and clashes eventually. Some marital problems and conflicts can be expected and be kept away, others can’t be predicted, and should be managed in time to save the relationship. Rebuilding your marriage requires the joint efforts of not one but of both individuals involved.
When issues and clashes are worked through jointly, they can fortify the adoration in a relationship and give a chance to a couple to develop and learn, and move to a more significant amount of joint fulfillment in their marriage. Perceiving the need to manage issues and strife can help reestablish your marriage as you experience them together.
5. Emphasize on changing yourself, not your partner
Insisting your mate to live according to your specifications doesn’t always work. In the first place, you can’t transform another person. You can just change yourself. Furthermore, attempting to mould your mate will create pressure in your relationship and debilitate him or her from evolving. Additionally, regardless of whether your mate does change, he or she wouldn’t feel great about the relationship until you accept to change for them too.
If nagging your spouse to change is what made your marriage to deteriorate, to rebuild the relationship, it’s pivotal that you acknowledge responsibility for your mistakes instead of accusing your spouse and requesting your partner to change. Start with bringing a positive change in yourself before expecting it from your spouse.
6. Take guidance from the third person
Though it sometimes becomes unacceptable to live your married life accompanied by interference from a third person, sometimes it becomes crucial to ask for advice and help from your loyal friends and family members. Experienced married couples can help you out with specific issues. Depending on the troubles, you can also seek marriage counseling.
7. Fulfil your mate’s emotional needs
For rebuilding your marriage, it’s highly essential to be committed to each other’s needs, whether they’re physical, financial or emotional ones. Everyone has a different perspective regarding love. Sharing emotions, being valued, spending time together, working on your friendship, and sharing experiences are a couple of examples that help strengthen a marriage.
Rebuilding your marriage is possible. However, it’s a lengthy process and will require motivation and patience. The level of trust is also quite low when a marriage is being rebuilt, and even the simplest of mistakes can break it again. So, make sure you’re committed to the cause and ready to put in the work.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
