How to Rebuild a Marriage: Here’s an 7-Step Rescue Plan

Marriage is an intimate legal relationship that’s respected all around the world. Trust holds great importance in turning an unhappy marriage into a successful one. 

However, building trust and, as a result, making your married life a happier one requires some investments and comprises that both spouses agree upon. 

But it’s also to be noted that trust, which lays the foundation of a contented life after marriage, isn’t achieved in days. It’s something you need to work for continuously, especially if your marriage is facing problems. Rebuilding your marriage is where trust plays a vital role.

If you’re facing marital issues and which to rebuild your marriage, here are 7 steps that can offer some help:

1. Make a commitment

Before you eventually make an effort, it’s very crucial to be committed to the cause.  Actions are based upon intentions, and thus, for rebuilding your marriage, first, what you intend to do should be made clear, especially to yourself.

You need to be clear about what you hope to work on and that you really want to put in the work to rebuild a marriage. Knowing what your goals are, helps you to create a path to achieve them. Your heart needs to be invested in rebuilding what you lost.

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2. Remove the obstacles

Another important aspect is to figure out what is hindering your path to a happy marriage. Mainly, such obstacles occur because sometimes, you might have failed in at least one of these four deterrents necessary in rebuilding your marriage: not forgiving, unfriendly interactions, untrustworthiness, and the doubt of having your trust broken again (feeling betrayed).

Take Quiz: Is Your Marriage Bliss, Or A Miss?

So, focus on eliminating those hurdles in order to build the foundation of a blissful married life. Don’t be hesitant to have a conversation with your spouse about such issues.

3. Explore what “Relationship happiness means to both of you”

How would you characterize relationship satisfaction? And more critically, how does your mate characterize relationship satisfaction? While you consider that, consider this: Three things make every relationship joyful. They are: 

• love 
• trust
• open correspondences 

However, even then, no all-inclusive equation or formula for relationship joy exists. It’s an exceedingly altered and extremely individual experience for every other person.

For instance, how you characterize bliss and fulfillment in a marriage may be profoundly different in relation to your spouse. Things that make you feel loved may not be the same things that make your spouse feel loved.

So, it’s advised that you accept this concept and rediscover what relationship joy means to you and your significant other. Make efforts to know what you both want and then use that knowledge to strengthen your bond.

4. Adjust your demands

Most marriages experience issues and clashes eventually. Some marital problems and conflicts can be expected and be kept away. Others can’t be predicted and should be managed in time to save the relationship. Rebuilding your marriage requires the joint efforts of not one but of both partners involved.

When issues and clashes are worked through jointly, they can fortify the adoration in a relationship and give a couple a chance to develop and learn and move to a more significant amount of joint fulfillment in their marriage. 

Perceiving the need to manage issues and strife can help re-establish your marriage as you experience them together.

5. Emphasize on changing yourself, not your partner

Insisting your mate to live according to your specifications doesn’t always work. In the first place, you can’t transform another person. You can just change yourself. Furthermore, attempting to mold your mate will create pressure in your relationship and debilitate them from evolving. 

Additionally, regardless of whether your mate does change, they wouldn’t feel great about the relationship until you accept changing for them. 

If nagging your spouse to change is what made your marriage deteriorate, then rebuild the relationship. It’s pivotal that you acknowledge responsibility for your mistakes instead of accusing your spouse and requesting your partner to change. 

Start with bringing a positive change in yourself before expecting it from your spouse.

6. Take guidance from the third person

Though it becomes unacceptable to live your married life accompanied by interference from a third person, sometimes, it becomes crucial to ask for advice and help from your loyal friends and family members. 

Experienced married couples can help you out with specific issues. Depending on the troubles, you can also seek marriage counseling.

7. Fulfil your mate’s emotional needs

It’s highly essential to be committed to each other’s needs for rebuilding your marriage, whether they’re physical, financial, or emotional ones.

Everyone has a different perspective regarding love. Sharing emotions, being valued, spending time together, working on your friendship, and sharing experiences are a couple of examples that help strengthen a marriage.

In the video below, Alan Robarge, Attachment Trauma Therapist, discusses what to do when the relationship is not delivering the desired level of emotional requirements of one of the partners.

Watch out:

Rebuilding your marriage is possible. However, it’s a lengthy process and will require motivation and patience. The level of trust is also quite low when a marriage is being rebuilt, and even the simplest of mistakes can break it again. 

So, make sure you’re committed to the cause and ready to put in the work.