Learning to communicate effectively in a relationship helps you show respect, understand one another better, and makes you more approachable to your partner. Both you and your spouse bring your own life experience to your relationship. This means you both have different ways of talking, listening, and communicating as a couple.
Communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
It promotes trust, loyalty, honesty, and love. If you want to foster a long-lasting union together, it is essential that you remain united and strive to improve your communication skills as a couple. These seven tips will help you learn how to improve connectedness and communication with your spouse.
1. Have fun together
Connectedness and communication go hand in hand. One doesn’t work well without the other. Having fun together raises your relationship morale and brings you closer together. The closer you feel to your mate, the more inclined you will be to share your thoughts and feelings with them.
Doing something fun together is great for the health of your relationship. Pick a hobby you both enjoy, have a date night, or spend the afternoon cuddling under a blanket with your favorite show together. Whatever you both like to do, make sure that you do it often. The more fun you have together the more connected you will feel.
2. Always be honest
The more honest you are with your partner, not only about your feelings but also with your follow-through, the more they will be able to trust you in the future. In a sense, your ability to be honest shapes how your partner feels about you. Are you dependable? Do they have reason to doubt you? When trying to improve communication with your spouse, make it your goal to be open and honest with each other.
Great relationships are built on respect and trust, both characteristics honed by being truthful. Talk about your life together, your goals for the future, speak up when you have a disagreement, and never pretend to be happy if you aren’t. There are many benefits to speaking the truth with your partner. Honesty will help you both to improve your communication skills and connect on a deeper level. It also teaches you both how to read each other and problem solve more efficiently.
3. Listen without interruption
If you’re not used to being quiet, this facet of connection and communication may be difficult. But, if you learn to listen without interruption it will do wonders for the health of your relationship.
It can be difficult not to interrupt with your own thoughts and opinions during an argument. But don’t. Whether your partner is talking about their stressful day at work, something funny they read, or you are mid-disagreement, listening is an integral step in how to improve communication with your spouse. It also helps you both avoid misunderstandings.
Learn to practice listening to your spouse. Make eye-contact when your partner is sharing a story and make good use of non-verbal interactions, such as nodding and smiling. This will make your partner feeling validated as well as let them know that you’re listening and participating without cutting them off. Use follow up questions to help show your interest and respect.
Patient listeners are in better position to handle disagreements and arguments in relationships. If you worry about how to improve communication and connectedness with your spouse, you can start by being a patient listener.
4. Voice your love
Studies reveal that when you look into your spouse’s eyes and say “I love you” the brain is prompted to release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which bonds couples together. This hormone makes you more trusting of your spouse and boosts feelings of happiness.
Many couples sadly get out of the habit of saying “I love you” to their spouse or simply use it as a casual way to end a phone conversation. Get back into the practice of telling your partner how much you love them and why you do. Voicing your love every day, and meaning it, will boost your partner’s self-esteem and strengthen your relationship in the long run.
5. Take time together every day
You both live busy lives, but that’s no reason to put your relationship at the bottom of your priority list. Take time for one another every day. Have a minimum of 30 minutes each day where you share the goings on of your lives. The more time you spend together the stronger your relationship will be. Many couples do this over coffee in the morning before the hustle and bustle of the day begins, or make a night of it with a bottle of wine. No matter when you choose to connect throughout the day, make sure you are both putting in the effort wholeheartedly.
6. Regular sexual activity
When considering how to increase communication with your spouse, your bedroom activities are going to play a huge role. Sex is another action in relationships that raises levels of oxytocin. This hormone is special and directly responsible for social bonding and feeling connected to your spouse. As we already discussed, the more connected you are to your spouse the more you communicate together. Discuss your sex life with one another. How many times a week or a month is satisfactory for both parties? What do you need from your partner in order to climax? These are important questions that will solidify your bond and give you a healthier, more satisfying sexual experience.
7. Show appreciation for one another
If your partner impresses you, tell them so. Showing appreciation for the things your spouse does will make them feel important and noticed by you. If you’re not one for verbal shows of affection, you can always show your appreciation in different ways. Thankful hugs and pecks on the cheek also work wonders for letting your partner know they’re special to you. You can also do helpful things for your spouse such as taking on their chores, cooking their favorite meal, or doing something small like banking. Big or small, anything you can do that makes their day a little bit easier is a fantastic gesture
Sending encouraging texts throughout the day is another small way you can boost your partner’s self-esteem. If you’re proud of them, don’t keep it to yourself. Your partner will like hearing these things. After all, who doesn’t love getting complimented?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.