Trust and relationship go hand in hand. Relationships affect us on a deep level, so it’s no surprise that when a relationship goes wrong, it can make it difficult to be vulnerable with someone new and start building trust after a bad relationship immediately.
When a partner breaks your trust or betrays you throughinfidelity it can make it hard to put your faith in a romantic partner. You can develop relationship trust issues while still recovering from abad relationship.
How to trust after a toxic relationship? Letting go of trust issues after a toxic relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself. But leaving a toxic partner can make you feel wary about starting a new relationship. Even if you want tolove and trust someone else, making it happen feels like an uphill battle.
Learning to trust again after a bad relationship or when trust is broken can be trying for both partners, but with a little effort, you can have asuccessful new relationship. Don’t let what happened in the past affect your future relationships.
16 tips on how to rebuild trust in a relationship
So, what are the steps to rebuilding trust in a relationship? How do you build trust in a relationship again? Here are 8 steps for building trust after a bad relationship.
1. Take time for yourself
Leaving a bad relationship is tough, butbuilding trust after a bad relationship is tougher. These types of partners can damage your ego, yourmental health, and your ability to trust. It is wise to take some time for yourself after getting out of a bad relationship before pursuing another romantic interest.
Taking your time gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself. You could use this time to grieve your past relationship, start a hobby, reconnect with friends, travel, focus on your career, or simply use the time to relax.
2. Make a list
Now that you have been in a bad relationship, you know better what you will and will not tolerate like no trust in a relationship, in a new relationship going forward.
As a step towards how to rebuild trust in a relationship, make a list of positive qualities they would like to see in a future romantic partner as well as a list of behaviors, habits, and characteristics you will not tolerate from someone.
3. Reconnect with your support system
Maintaining your relationships with friends andfamily can be difficult when you are in a bad relationship. Your ex may have taken up most of your time, which alienated you from your support system. This is common in toxic relationships since it forces you to be completely dependent on your ex.
Now that you’re free of their bad influence, it’s time to reconnect with your loved ones. These relationships will help you heal from your breakup, and will teach you that there are trustworthy people out there so that moving forward you can easily build trust in a new relationship.
They will act as a strong support system to see you through any trials that may come up in your life.
Just because you’re now single doesn’t mean you have to jump into a new relationship. If you are not ready to be in a relationship, don’t pursue someone as a rebound. It is not fair to you, nor is it fair to your crush.
When you are ready to be with someone new, take your time. Building trust after a bad relationship may take repeated efforts with different partners before you find someone to get serious with.
While understanding how to rebuild trust in a relationship, be cautious with your new partner and use your head as well as your heart until you are able to trust them.
5. Communicate with your partner
Whether you’re starting a new relationship or have been with someone for years, communication is going to be your most important tool for maintaining a healthy bond. If you are starting a new relationship, you shouldcommunicate openly with your partner about your last relationship.
Tell them how your partner treated you, how it made you feel, and explain honestly to your partner about how you may be triggered by certain behavior or phrases for a while.
Being open about your trust issues will help your partner work with you to help build trust and a strong foundation for your relationship instead of working against you.
6. Your partner is not your ex
If you want to learn building trust after a bad relationship, you will need to remind yourself that your partner is not your ex. They have done nothing to make you question their loyalty or their affection for you.
This is a fact that you may have to drum into your mind a number of times and learn ways to rebuild trust in a relationship before your head and your heart sees things the same way.
7. Trust your instincts
If you want to learn how to build trust after a bad relationship you must learn how to trust yourself first. Bad relationships don’t usually start out that way. At first, you may have been very happy with your partner. You may even have thought they were good for you. But over time the relationship became toxic for both of you.
During the period of toxicity in your relationship, you likely had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. You didn’t like the way you were being treated or acknowledged that the behavior you were sharing wasn’t healthy. You may have ignored these gut feelings because you wanted to salvage the relationship.
This time around, learn to trust your gut feelings and move forward on your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, call your partner out on it. This time around, pay close attention to red flags.
On the other hand, if your gut tells you that your new partner is worthy of your trust, go with it. Don’t punish them for a past partner’s mistakes if there is no basis for it.
If you keep telling yourself that all women are liars or that all men cheat, you may start to believe it. When trust is gone, nothing feels right.
If you are learning to trust in a relationship, you will have to change your outlook on relationships. Don’t let one apple spoil the whole bunch, even if that apple was particularly rotten.
Let your new partner show you that they are someone who can be trusted and that they have your best interest in mind.
The behavior you experienced in a toxic relationship can leave you feeling distrustful of a new partner, but can youlearn to trust your partner after a failed relationship?
The answer to this question is really simple. By making time for yourself, having open communication with a new partner, and a lot of patience you can learn rebuilding trust after a bad relationship.
9. Practice active listening
Active listening does not mean that you need to silently listen to your partner without involving yourself in the conversation. In fact, it means listening to your partner and understanding their joys and issues.
Active listening is a sign of true commitment and an answer for how to rebuild trust in a relationship. In this, you ensure that you do not interrupt your partner as they speak and you do not take their concerns as an attack on yourself.
As another way of how to rebuild trust in a relationship, you need to be prompt with the apology when you make a mistake instead of flinching away from accepting your mistakes.
Acknowledging your mistakes might feel like you are hurting your ego but it’s essential in the long run when your partner needs to learn to trust again.
11. Let them see the change
Actions speak louder than words.
Once you apologize, the next step for how to rebuild trust in a relationship is to put your efforts into action. Apologizing is not enough. To regain trust in a relationship, say the right words and do the right things and show them your sincere efforts to help them figure out your changed behavior.
12. Pay attention to physical intimacy
Physical intimacy lays the foundation of a strong relationship. It is one of the most important elements that binds the partners together.
When you are moving towards trusting your partner, ensure that you do not let go of intimacy just because your partner is upset with you. Make a move. Hug them. Cuddle with them and let them know how much you care about them. A small touch can do great wonders in adding sweetness to the relationship.
13. Set relationship goals
Relationship goals help the couple look forward to something fruitful for the relationship. They help the couple focus on the efforts that are going to bring positive results.
You can set these goals that you both can work productively on and bring benefits to the relationship. It will also help you both work together and put the mind off distrust and complaints against each other.
You both got together for a reason. Remember the time when you both were so in love and expressed it without any inhibitions.
As the years go by, couples often get too busy in their lives and take each other for granted. So, recall those old times and recreate those memories. It could be as simple as going in the restaurant where you had your first date to kissing at the spot where you both first kissed.
15. Be transparent
Transparency in a relationship is of utmost importance.This not only builds trust between the partners but also helps them understand each other.
Being transparent means having no secrets from your partner. It means no hidden messages, no hidden finances and not hiding emotions as well.
Check out this video on why is transparency so important in a relationship:
16. Resolve personal issues
In order to build trust within the relationship and gain someone’s trust back, you need to build trust with yourself first. Practice the art of self-forgiveness and start your healing journey.
It could seem like a tough road but with this process, you will definitely bring positivity in the relationship.
How to rebuild trust in a relationship can seem like a difficult task but with teamwork, it can be easily achieved. To repair trust in a relationship, these steps can do wonders and add a lot of positivity to the relationship. Make sure you make consistent efforts and enjoy the journey.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.