Marriage may not be your ultimate goal when you first got into this relationship but as life happens, what if you suddenly find yourself “ready” to get married? Scary? It might be especially when you’re clueless when and how you can talk about marriage with your partner.
Just how do you set the perfect time to let your partner know that you are now ready to take your relationship into the next level? How do you give subtle hints to your partner without scaring them off? Let’s read through.
Signs that your partner is ready to tie the knot
When you first got into this relationship, you may or may not have seen yourself growing old with the person you’re with right now but as we get to know each other, sometimes you just realize that this person is the one for you but like any other couples out there, you can’t just casually ask the person “let’s talk about marriage” and everything would be perfect.
Reality is, for some people, everything can go smoothly until they hear the word “marriage” and that’s when everything will change. Some people aren’t ready for marriage and this is why it’s important that we know when to create the perfect time to talk about marriage.
The first thing that you should know when to talk about marriage in a relationship is when you see that your partner is also ready and to know this, you need to check where you are in the relationship timeline. We don’t want to scare our partners, right? Most of the time, you can start talking about marriage once you’ve reached further into the relationship.
Let’s take a look at the relationship timeline and see where you are currently at:
The getting to know stage
Well, this is the first part and mostly, there wouldn’t be any person who would want to talk about marriage at this early age. This might be the most exciting part of the relationship because you don’t know this person yet. It’s the getting to know stage where you will see the good and the not-so-good traits of your partner.
Have you met the parents?
Well, consider yourself lucky if you are already at this stage. Did your partner already invite you to meet his or her parents? You might get a little nervous here but it’s a good step further.
I love you
You might already think of how to talk about marriage when you finally hear the magic words. For some, this is the ultimate sign that you might already be ready to make it legal!
Let’s take it a step further and if you are already included in your partner’s holiday plans then, this already might be a sign. How do you feel with each other and your partner’s family? If you already feel that you are a part of it, maybe it’s time to talk about marriage.
Are you living together?
If you want to talk about marriage and you are already living together, think of it as a form of just legalizing what you are already doing now. This may be a little bit easier for couples as they are “almost” married. The only downside here is if your partner doesn’t believe in marriage and how do you know that?
This is where you would know. Do you engage in deep conversation? If so, you’d probably have an idea if your partner is just waiting for the right time to talk about marriage or is not someone who believes in it.
How to talk about marriage to your partner
Now that you know what your relationship standing is, it’s time to know how to talk about marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Knowing how to talk about marriage is challenging especially when you want to give a hint but you don’t want to look too excited about it either.
It’s a good thing if you and your partner are engaging with the deep conversation but if not, maybe you should initiate it first. Don’t jump into the topic of marriage just yet. Just be comfortable in talking about everything from opinions, to dreams about the future and sooner, you’ll find yourself talking about marriage.
With each topic, you gain more insight as to what your partner thinks about marriage. For example, if you are talking about future goals and you see your partner making lots of plans for themselves alone, then this may indicate that they don’t have any marriage plans in the near future.
What to do when your partner turns you down?
We need to be ready for everything so even if you see that your partner is cool about it but somehow, when you try to approach them about the marriage topic, this person may not seem to be interested – then that’s your answer. This person may not be ready yet.
There can be many reasons why a person might not be ready for marriage even if you’re already living together and doing all that married couples do. There can be trust issues from their own past (such as parents who divorced) or there may be too many career opportunities that they don’t want to let go yet, and even just the fact that they don’t see themselves getting married yet.
This is definitely disappointing and sad too, but don’t break your relationship just because of this. Give it time, connect emotionally and assure this person that we may not know what the future holds but we would be willing to do our best to make it work. Marriage is, after all, a big decision and this is the first part where both of you need to show each other that you can be here for this person no matter what.
Also remember that once you know that you trust each other, you are emotionally connected and you are secure with your relationship, then this is a perfect time and it’s okay to ask about marriage plans without making it too obvious that you really want to “talk” about marriage. After all, there is no need to rush in this type of decisions and what we just aim here is to let our partner know that we are thinking of it and we feel that we are ready.