Though it’s not a reality that we want to face, there are times when we may all struggle with communication in a marriage. When you first get married, you have only each other to worry about, and life just seems so much simpler.
As you are married for a more extended time, life circumstances and responsibilities can take over. What was once an excellent marriage communication can quickly become overtaken with juggling too many things and leaving too little time for each other.
If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone in understanding how to improve communication in marriage.
We may have the very best intentions and lose our way when we get drawn into work, our kids, and just keeping the household running. It takes a conscious effort on both of your parts to improve communication in your marriage.
It means that you are also aware when it starts to slip—and that you both work to keep this from happening. It’s not always easy to keep your marriage and communication intact, but it’s worth it, and a couple who communicates well with each other often stays together too.
This article will present some marriage communication tips that would prove substantial in improving communication with spouses and improving communication skills in marriage.
Meaning of communication in a marriage
Talking does not necessarily mean communicating. In a marriage, communication means to discuss the most important things in life. So, what does communication mean in a marriage?
Communication in marriage includes talking about relationships, families, finances, parenting, household chores, and much more. It is more than just talking and responding. It is genuinely listening to the other person, with an intention to understand, and trying to come to a fruitful conclusion or solution.
Why communication in a marriage is important
Communication is one of the pillars that a relationship is based on. Spouses need to communicate effectively with each other. Communication between a couple leads to better marital satisfaction and better understanding between the couple.
No communication in a marriage could imply no interest in the relationship as well.
15 tips for effective communication in a marriage
How to improve communication in marriage? Do you wish to improve communication in your marriage? Here are 15 tips for effective communication between a couple.
1. Get in facetime every day
You will often find that you’re exhausted after balancing all of your responsibilities at the end of the day. By the time you reach home, you are so drained that all you can think about is just spending time relaxing in your own space and with your thoughts.
Though it may seem like a chore at first, you must set aside just a few minutes to talk face to face with one another. You will soon come to love and appreciate this facetime, for it gives you a great way of reconnecting.
The key to understanding how to improve communication in a marriage is to spend a few minutes with each other, away from everything else.
Even if it’s right before you go to bed at night, be sure that you talk with one another about anything and everything and see how this really helps to open the floodgates and get the two of you talking again.
2. Make time for just you two (such as date night)
Having that time each day helps you remember what you love about each other. This inevitably leads to the need for having more time dedicated to just the two of you.
Even if you can only get a date night once a month, go for it—this can be the lifeline of your marriage and keep the communication alive and well.
Having time away from the kids, away from responsibilities, and focused just on you as a couple really makes you stronger. This gives you a wonderful opportunity for good conversation and reconnecting, which is what effective communication is really all about in the long run.
Have you been asking yourself how to improve communication in marriage?
It’s easy to get caught in a rut talking about cleaning the house or picking up the kids every single day. This will mean that your communication is much more about the mundane and much less about the good conversation that keeps you linked together.
Make it a point to talk about the things you like, hobbies, special interests, current events, or anything other than just the functional, for it will keep the spark alive and ensure that you enjoy talking to each other.
Improving communication in marriage requires you and your spouse to try different topics and avenues for keeping things exciting and away from the dull and mundane.
4. Be a genuine and modest listener
One of the essential ways to improve communication with your spouse is to put aside your ego and take the first step towards being open to listening. Being a modest and good listener would also invite the same habit in your spouse.
To be a good listener, you can try to follow the following steps:
Remove any distractions, such as your phones or laptops.
Watch for non-verbal cues and gestures.
Show interest, sympathize or empathize where necessary.
Don’t interrupt too often but do ask probing questions.
Most importantly, think before you speak.
Check out this interesting video on how to improve your listening skills.
Remember – no matter how much of a challenge it might seem, being genuinely interested in your spouse is entirely your choice.
You want to support each other, and you want to be the one person that your spouse can turn to. The only way to get there is through effective communication in a marriage, and so you may need to revisit what it means to support each other.
Try turning to each other instead before you run to a friend with a problem or for an opinion.
Know that a good marriage heavily depends upon love and support, and when you open up to each other in this way, you help foster one of the essential elements of being a couple in love—those who support each other will always stay close!
6. Focus on your tone
When we try to communicate with someone, it is not just about the words we use, but also the tone we speak those words in. How to improve communication in marriage? If you or your partner talk in a tone that is offensive or taunting, it can lead to an argument between the two of you, making communication even more difficult.
Just like the tone of your voice, your body language is also non-verbal communication. If you come across as defensive, offended, or angry and agitated by your body language, the chances are that the communication between you and your partner will be disrupted.
8. Notice the time you pick to talk
How to communicate better in marriage? Focus on the timing.
If you and your partner have something significant to talk about, make sure you pick the right time to talk to them. If not, the communication between the two of you can be pretty disrupted. If you choose to talk to them when they are stressed or tired, they may not respond in the way you expect them to.
This is one of the most common mistakes in relationships and marriages. They expect the other person in the equation to read their mind, which is just not possible.
Irrespective of how long and how well someone has known you, they just cannot read your mind. Expecting that from them can lead to poor communication.
10. Pay attention to how you phrase your sentences
Apart from your voice and body language tone, the way you phrase your sentences is also meaningful. Sometimes, for the lack of a better word, we use words that can be offensive to the listener, causing them to hurt.
11. Do not speak to hurt
If you and your partner have fought, you must not speak in a language that causes them to hurt. When we are angry or hurt, we can say things we do not mean and regret later.
12. Listen to understand
Ask yourself, are you listening to understand or to respond? Change your approach towards what your partner says if it is the latter. You will notice communication getting better instantly.
Remember that you and your partner are against the problem and not you two against each other. When you do that, you are very respectful towards each other. Remember that the argument or the discussion will last only so long, but your marriage is forever.
Dos and don’ts to improve communication in your marriage
There are certain dos and don’ts to improving communication in your marriage. For instance, you must be clear and specific when trying to communicate with your partner. At the same time, accusing or taunting are a few of the don’ts in communication in marriage. Refer to this article to understand the dos and don’ts of effective communication in marriage.
Every marriage evolves, and so does how a couple communicates with each other in their marriage. A lack of effective communication can cause stress, conflicts and even push the marriage towards divorce.
Make use of the tips from this article on how to communicate better in marriage, sooner rather than later, for improving communication in marriage.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Mary Fisher is a writer experienced with helping couples understand marriage, love
and relationships. She completed her studies in 2011 and is currently involved in
writing articles on intimacy, relationships and family.