Though it’s not a reality that we want to face, there are times when we may all struggle with communication in a marriage. When you first get married you have only each other to worry about and life just seems so much simpler. As you are married for longer though, life circumstances and responsibilities can take over. What was once an excellent line of communication can easily become overtaken with juggling too many things, and leaving too little time for each other. If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone in trying to keep the line of communication going strong.
We may have the very best of intentions and we lose our way when we get drawn into work, our kids, and just keeping the household running. It does take a conscious effort on both of your parts to keep the communication in a marriage strong, and it means that you are also aware when it starts to slip—and that you both work to keep this from happening! It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it and a couple who communicates well with each other often stays together too.
1. Get in face time every day
You will often find that you’re exhausted at the end of the day after balancing all of your responsibilities. Though it may seem like a chore at first, set aside just a few minutes to talk face to face with one another. You will soon come to really love and appreciate this face time, for it gives you a great way of reconnecting.
The key to establishing strong communication in a marriage is to spend a few minutes with each other, away from everything else. Even if it’s right before you go to bed at night, be sure that you talk with one another about anything and everything and see how this really helps to open the floodgates and get the two of you talking again!
2. Make time for just you two (such as date night)
Having that time each day helps you to remember what you love about each other. This inevitably leads to the need for having more time dedicated to just the two of you. Even if you can only get in date night once a month, go for it—this can be the lifeline of your marriage and to keeping the communication alive and well.
Having time away from the kids, away from responsibilities, and focused just on you as a couple really makes you stronger. This gives you a wonderful opportunity for good conversation and reconnecting, which is what effective communication is really all about in the long run.
3. Talk about more than just the functional
It’s easy to get caught in a rut talking about cleaning the house or picking up the kids every single day. This will mean that your communication is much more about the mundane and much less about good conversation that keeps you linked together. Make it a point to talk about the things you like, hobbies, special interests, current events, or anything other than just the functional for it will keep the spark alive and ensure that you actually enjoy talking to each other.
4. Look to each other for support
You want to support each other and you want to be the one person that your spouse can turn to. The only way to get there is through effective communication in a marriage, and so you may need to revisit what it means to support each other. Before you run to a friend with a problem or for an opinion, try turning to each other instead.
Know that a good marriage heavily depends upon love and support, and when you open up to each other in this way then you help to foster one of the most important elements of being a couple in love—those who support each other will always stay close!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher