20 Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast & How to Deal With It
If you ever caught yourself at the start of a relationship thinking, “he/she is moving too fast,” then you’re not the only one. And you are probably right. Relationships moving too fast is not good for either of you.
Moving too fast in a relationship can be a massive turn-off. No one likes to feel pressured or to feel trapped, right? Yet, many of us rush the relationships if we feel “the spark.”
There are some obvious signs a relationship is moving too fast, but sometimes we just don’t like to acknowledge these signs.
What does it mean when a relationship is moving too fast?
Moving too fast in a relationship means that a relationship’s pace is not aligned with both partners’ thoughts and goals, as they don’t know each other enough.
It can also result from a partner’s pressure on another to move faster than they are comfortable with. Still, it mostly happens when two people get involved emotionally or physically too quickly without evaluating their future together.
Moving too fast in a relationship can lead to various problems, such as anxiety, discomfort, anger issues, etc. It will be better if a couple communicates about their needs and boundaries in a relationship to ensure they’re both comfortable and happy.
Is moving too fast in a relationship not a good sign?
There is a reason why the honeymoon effect is called a phase. It doesn’t last forever, which is exactly why you shouldn’t make fast decisions while wearing rose-tinted glasses.
It is hard to control yourself when you’re falling for someone, but if you don’t give the relationship time to grow and develop independently, you’re set up for disaster.
Relationships are like roses: you can’t use force to open them. If you force it, you kill it. Roses unfold at their own pace. Good things come to those who are patient, so take it easy and enjoy the journey.
20 signs your new relationship is moving too fast
Is it time to slow down and let things happen in their own time? If you ever asked yourself, “is my relationship moving too fast,” read on, and you will get the answer.
1. You see only perfection in your partner
Isn’t this great? They are perfect! It just feels like “it’s meant to be,” and this is great, but this first stage of the honeymoon phase too often brings vague promises of the future that might get your hopes just a bit too high.
If all you can think is how perfect they are and your relationship is moving too fast.
2. Making the partner feel like the center of your world
A guy moving too fast emotionally can turn us off and frighten us away. The same is for women. Why is this? Because no one likes being pressured into relationships for one of the reasons.
The second one is we want to be with someone who has a life outside the relationship, too, and have fun, spend time together but never let other aspects of our life suffer.
3. You already know you want kids
If you already talked about getting married and having kids, and it’s been only 2 months since you started seeing each other, you need to pull the brake.
A relationship moving too fast can make us feel like we want a family with this person immediately, and sometimes we are doing this just because we are afraid we will end up alone.
4. You are together all the time
Humans are social beings, and we generally like to be around others, but we also need our own space.
Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean your job, friends, family, and Zumba group all disappear. Workaround it and see how your partner fits into this picture.
5. You are affecting each other’s financial or personal decisions
This is a huge no-no. If you tell them what to do with their income or how to talk to their family member, it means you are way over the line and things are going too fast.
Research has consistently found an association between your social relationship and physical and mental wellbeing.
Hence, you must get to know each other and build trust in each other before you feel entitled to influence important decisions in your partner’s life.
Don’t allow a relationship to move too fast to ruin your life and business affairs potentially.
Related Reading: Link Between Marriage & Psychological Well-Being
6. Your parents are having a BBQ already
If you have been dating for only a few weeks and your mom is organizing a barbeque, it’s very clear this relationship is moving too fast.
If they are trying to get you to meet his folks too soon, keep a guy from coming too fast into your family life by explaining the importance of getting to know each other better before meeting family members.
7. Things are too smooth
It’s great when things are smooth, but it’s also very unrealistic to expect there won’t be any fights. Maybe in the first couple of weeks, but you will inevitably have a disagreement sooner or later.
If it’s been more than 2 months with no conflict, it might be a sign you are overseeing things to make both of you think about how this relationship is the one.
Conflict is a healthy growth opportunity in a relationship and its important to learn how you resolve problems together.
8. You’re not over your ex
“Am I going too fast? I am still thinking about my ex a lot and feel awkward. I am seeing someone already.” – is this you? How can a relationship moving too fast make us feel false security and love?
Too often, people rush into relationships thinking how meeting and dating someone new will help them overcome past love and break up. You need time to heal, forgive, and rediscover yourself after a relationship.
How can you get to know yourself if you’re always seeing someone? A new relationship moving fast can leave us drained and emotionally unstable, so take it easy.
9. The romance is overwhelming
We all love gifts and being lavished with attention, but there is such a thing as “too much.” There is a point where we ask, “Is this all fake?” Some gentlemen are genuinely like this all the time, but most guys are not like this 24/7.
Romantic gestures can be a way of manipulating and drawing your attention from other behavior that might be a problem in the future.
10. Obsessing about where they are
How fast is too fast in a relationship? Well, this is a red flag for sure: If you keep thinking, where are they when they are not with you,
you are poisoning your relationship with jealousy, leading you to a dead end. A relationship moving too fast can cause us to feel obsessive and possessive. Your partner had a life before you, and this life continues.
You can’t expect someone to drop everything just because they met you. Life is like a puzzle; we are all pieces that fit the big picture.
A puzzle piece on its own has little or no meaning, so think about this next time when you ask him to cancel his game night with boys to spend time with you (although you saw him last night).
11. You are an open book
A relationship moving too fast can get us to spill all the beans about our exes and past traumas on the first date. Honesty is desirable, but no one wants to know all your past lovers and all the family issues you faced while growing up.
Take it easy and let them get to know you first. Stop and think: are we rushing in, or are we going steady and step by step? If you doubt whether you should share some personal things with him, there may be a reason your intuition is telling you to slow down.
12. You trust them unconditionally for no reason
To trust someone is to know them deeply, and to know them deeply is to spend enough time with them to see their personality in different situations.
Don’t trust people easily; let them earn your trust. If you rushed into a relationship too fast, and you’re not sure whether they are right for you, don’t panic. You don’t have to stop seeing them, just find the balance and don’t trust them too much; take everything with a pinch of salt.
Also, watch this video related to the psychology of trust. – Keep the existing video
13. Try to keep up with others
He’s moving too fast if he is already talking about double dates with his brother and his girlfriend, and you’ve been seeing each other for a week.
Love is beautiful and pure, don’t tarnish it by trying to copy someone else and outrun them in a game with no winners because we’re all running a different race.
14. You’re labeling each other
A relationship moving too fast makes us label each other very quickly. Don’t rush it; it will come when it comes. “Is this your girlfriend?”, “How’s your relationship going?” – Questions like this can rush us into labeling, so think twice before you answer.
15. It’s suffocating one of you
This is very clear: the relationship is moving too fast. If you feel overwhelmed or feel that this whole “thing” leaves you with no breathing space, you obviously need to slow down.
Sometimes partners don’t understand each other well at the start and think the other person likes seeing them often or texting all the time when it’s actually the opposite: they like having their space which is absolutely ok to talk about.
16. You are planning future
Are you already packing your bags and telling all your friends you’ll live in France? Maybe your partner said it on purpose, maybe not, but don’t create future plans without having built trust in each other.
The worst thing in the world is when we create this vision and get our hopes high, and all of a sudden, there is a change of tides, and we end up disappointed when it was actually only a misunderstanding.
17. They are your +1
Fast-moving relationships can really mess up your social life BIG time. You’ve been invited to an event in a few months and declared publicly you’re going with your +1. Is this relationship moving too fast? YES.
Slow down before you have to embarrass yourself and cancel your attendance just because, after a couple of days, you realize you’re not meant for each other after all.
18. You are fighting with your family and friends over them
A very common thing happens when we start seeing new people, and our family sees changes in us, they try to protect us.
They want for us what they think is the best, and they try to save us from being hurt (again) and protect us if they can. Bear in mind that you are in a new relationship, and the last thing you want is to fall out with your family over something that might expire.
19. Goals have changed
Only two weeks ago, you had your summer planned, your ideal job, and your life all laid out. Then you met Mr. Perfect, who swayed you off your feet, and now your head is spinning.
You decided to re-evaluate your plans for the future, and all your goals have now disappeared in thin air because you have only one real goal – to be with him.
20. It doesn’t feel right
How fast should a relationship move? There is no correct answer. Tune in to your intuition, listen to your gut, and don’t let the novelty of the moment mute your inner voice. Is this it? Does it feel right?
If not, are you forcing yourself and rushing into this because you want to have someone? Don’t be afraid to say no; stop seeing people who don’t make you feel extraordinary and special.
A relationship moving too fast can really turn on our intuition. Tune into your intuition and trust your gut.
10 tips to slow down a relationship when moving too fast
Here are some tips to assist you in comprehending fast moving relationships.
1. Clear communication
Talk to your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns honestly. Ensure they know about your uneasiness regarding moving too fast in a relationship and express how it would be better if you both slowed things down.
Related Reading: 10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships
2. Don’t rush physical intimacy
If you are wondering how fast is too fast in a relationship, know that rushing physical intimacy is definitely way too fast.
Most times, getting involved physically can accelerate the pace of your relationship. Consider slowing down and taking things at a comfortable pace.
If you feel you have to be physically intimate early for them to stay, that may not be the right person for you.
3. Spend less time together
Don’t be shocked! We are just telling you to lead individual lives while cutting back on the frequency of your meetings.
It will help you control the pace of your relationship and give you enough time to think about each other when you are not together. Reflection is an important time to realize if the person is suitable for you in the longer term.
Related Reading: 15 Reasons Why Quality Time Is So Important in a Relationship
4. Take a break
Taking a break is necessarily not a bad thing if it is done with the intention of getting back together.
If things are getting out of your hands, taking a short break from your relationship can help you understand your feelings about your partner.
5. Set boundaries
Overwhelming yourself will eventually take your relationship down the ugly road. Setting boundaries around how much time you spend together is important to control how fast you will move forward in your relationship.
6. Focus on your growth
In relationships, most people forget to work on themselves, which sooner or later becomes a problem as they stop growing individually and start to feel negative about themselves.
Focus on your personal growth and development to feel more confident and grounded in the relationship.
7. Avoid making big decisions
You already know that things are moving fast in your relationship. Do you want to feel guilty about making a big decision that could lead you to a lifetime of disappointment?
Take your time and think a million times before committing or making big decisions.
8. Pay attention to the red flags
Most people choose to look over any red flags at the beginning of the relationship.
Please take reg flags at the beginning of the relationship seriously and address them before you hand out a lifelong commitment.
Related Reading: 30 Red Flags in a Relationship You Should Never Ignore
9. Take one step at a time
Being in a relationship can make you feel that you can win the world, but as soon as you realize that your relationship is moving too fast, reality kicks in.
It will be better if you do not rush for milestone after milestone and take one thing at a time at a comfortable pace.
10. Seek relationship counseling
If you are struggling to get a hold on the pace of your relationship, consider taking a professional’s help.
Opt for relationship counseling as a good therapist will help you understand your feelings and suggest a plan to slow down your relationship.
How can you handle it in a healthy way?
Here are a few ways you can handle the pace of a fast-moving relationship healthily.
- Communicate honestly with your partner about your feelings and let them know your concerns.
- Take some time for yourself. Focus on your life and interests. This will make you feel more balanced and in control.
- Spend time with other people, such as your friends and family. Share good moments and enjoy quality time with your loved ones.
- Be honest with yourself about your feelings. Evaluate your feelings and emotions related to your partner and determine what you want from this relationship.
- Try to practice mindfulness and being present in the moment and focus on enjoying each moment. Mindfulness can help you slow down and appreciate the small things.
Related Reading: How to Handle Relationship Arguments: 18 Effective Ways
More about signs your relationship is moving too fast
Here are some of the most asked and discussed questions about whether the relationship is moving too fast or not.
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Does moving too fast ruin relationships?
There is no definite answer if moving too fast can ruin relationships, but in most cases, it affects a relationship negatively.
Suppose both partners are not on the same page. In that case, it can create feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and uncertainty, leading to a lack of trust and a communication breakdown, ultimately harming the relationship.
However, if both partners are comfortable with the fast pace of the relationship, it might work out just fine.
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How quickly should relationships move?
No fixed timeline defines the pace of a relationship. It varies from person to person and depends on many factors, such as individual preferences, life circumstances, and the nature of the relationship.
Some people may think a slow-paced relationship is best for them, while others might be okay with a fast-paced one.
As long as both partners are on the same page and comfortable with the pace of the relationship, it doesn’t matter if the relationship is moving too fast or slow.
Takeaway
Time will show, but don’t ignore these signs. We are all cooped up, and we feel careless in the honeymoon phase, but rushing things can actually harm you more than you think.
Talk to your closest friends and see if you have changed drastically since you started seeing this new person. It’s always good to get feedback from people you care about. If it’s meant to be, it will happen no matter what, so slow down and enjoy the journey.
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