In any serious commitment or relationship, there may come a time where you will have to talk about marriage. Marriage is a big step, but when you’ve been together for years, you feel that you have already established a strong connection.
For some, the time may come sooner than others, and that is okay – like they say, when you know, you know. However, you may find yourself wondering, why are you not having “the talk” yet?
You may want to talk about it but are just not sure which one should initiate it and how to do it.
If you have been wondering if this is the right time to talk about marriage, here are some pointers that can help you navigate this challenging road.
The conversation about marriage or getting married is difficult simply because it means a new level of intimacy, and that is scary. When you want to have a serious discussion with your partner, and especially when it is about marriage, there are many things you have to consider.
Irrespective of how long you and your partner have been together, this next step can come with a load of responsibilities, compromises, and involvements of family and friends – something that worries everyone before they take the leap.
Moreover, couples are scared that their relationship will change. However, while the relationship changes, it can even change for the better and bring hopes of a new family.
When to talk about getting married?
You may wonder when is the right time to talk about marriage. When to have the talk about marriage in a relationship is an important question. Discussing marriage early in the relationship may seem a little awkward and is not even advised because this might scare your partner away.
Talking about marriage too soon is, therefore, not recommended. While they may also be looking for the same things as you, it is understandable that they may need a little more time to be so sure about marrying you.
Most couples decide to have the conversation way ahead of their engagement. According to a survey, 94 percent of couples discuss engagements about six months before going forward. The same survey also found that about 30 percent of them talk about marriage weekly.
So, when is the right time to talk about it and bring up marriage with your partner?
Look for signs that will help you understand if it is the right time to get married to your partner or if you should wait it out.
You can’t just walk up to your partner one day and say,” Let’s talk about marriage!” Where to start – This is a fundamental question when it comes to the topic of getting married. And the answer to that question is – with yourself.
When you feel you want to have the marriage talk or have thoughts about it, there are some questions you should ask yourself before talking to them about marriage.
These questions will help you be sure if you want to have that conversation with them and the topics you need to talk about.
Ask yourself the reasons you want to get married to your partner.
4. Talk about marriage and your life as husband and wife
Will you be the person who wants to know everything, or would you let your spouse get together with their friends often? The reality is, marriage will set boundaries and as early as now, better discuss them to save your marriage later.
5. Talk about how you would deal with your problems once you have one
Will you be silent and just let it be, or would you rather talk about it? You both should decide how you will deal with the problems that arise in your marriage, because no relationship is perfect, but how you come out of the problems is important.
While keeping your emotions, wants, and needs in front of each other and making decisions based on them is important, it is also equally important to make practical decisions to have a smoother future.
10. Keep an open mind
When talking about marriage to your partner, please do not close your mind to the possibilities and their thoughts. They may not want to get married immediately but maybe in a different situation in their lives. Being understanding of that and approaching the situation with an open mind is very important.
After you have considered all these factors, ask yourself if you still want to talk about marriage? If so, then you are indeed ready.
It is all about being sure and being ready for the commitment, and once you have both agreed on these things, then you’re prepared to tie the knot.
Some marriage counselors and therapists make quizzes and games to help you understand if you and your partner are on the same page. These questions touch upon essential topics you need to discuss but in a fun way.
Taking one such quiz with your partner can help you discover many subjects that need to be talked about before you decide to tie the knot.
Whether or not you decide to have the conversation immediately or even decide to wait for the discussion, it is important to establish good communication with your partner and make sure that you are on the same page.
Honesty and communication can go a long way in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. While getting married may be important, being happy with each other is even more important.
Make sure your partner knows what you are feeling, and you both should be headed towards a happily ever after.
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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.