In any serious commitment or relationship, there will come a time where you will have to talk about marriage.
When you’ve been together for years and you feel that you have already established a strong connection, but then again, why aren’t you having the “marriage talk” just yet?
Don’t wait until you start to wonder why talking about marriage isn’t happening. Know what the deal is and understand if it is time for talking about marriage.
So when is the right time to that the ultimate couples talk?What would be the marriage discussion and where do we initiate it?
How do you know “it’s time?”
Talking about marriage, early in the relationship may seem a little awkward and is not even advised because this might scare your partner away.
So, when is the right time to talk about marriage?
1. You’re in a committed relationship – for a while
Marriage topics for discussion aren’t for those couples who have just been together for months.
We understand that you love each other and all, but talking about a wedding requires the test of time.
Most of the time, marriage conversation comes naturally for couples who have been together for years, where they already established many years of tests and have known each other’s families and even friends.
As they say, they’re already living the “married” life and they just have to tie the knot to make it formal.
2. You have an undeniable connection
You know it’s time to talk about your wedding when you know you and your partner can already be sure that you have connected emotionally.
Can you imagine how to talk about marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you don’t know this person intimately?
Being intimate isn’t just all about sexual connection but many things.
Truth is, it is very easy to be fooled by a new love’s intoxicating feeling. You still have to remind yourself that only time and trial can test you and your relationship.
We don’t want to rush things.
3. You trust each other
Marriage topics to talk about include your future, your life together, and being with this person for a lifetime – that’s what marriage is all about, right?
Speak about marriage when you fully trust this person. When you know you can’t live without him or her. From there, when to talk about marriage will come naturally.
How to talk about marriage?
Discussion topics for couples may or may not include marriage. Why? The fact is: Marriage isn’t for everybody.
Some people choose to go through life without this commitment just because they don’t like it or don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage.
There are also those couples or people who believe and support marriage and in fact, would treasure the fact of being together bonded by marriage.
If you want to talk about marriage, you need to know what approach is needed, depending on your partner.
Again, if it is already clear that this person doesn’t believe in marriage, opening or deciding to talk about your weddingmay not have a good outcome.
Once you are sure, it’s time to find the best approach on how to talk about marriagewith your partner.
Take the risk and initiate the conversation. Make sure that your partner isn’t sick, busy, or tired. When to talk about marriage is important because you might end up having a fight or being mistaken as a nag if you don’t know the right timing.
How to discuss marriage with someone you love? A great way is to talk about your goals, life together and your ideals in life. This is the time to get honest and we mean it. If not now, then when will you tell this person their areas of improvement and their shortcomings to work on? You can’t marry someone who you can’t be honest with.
When you are talking about marriage, speak about your ideas and point of view in life as well. Are you the type of person who still wants to live near your parents? Do you want many kids? Are you an extravagant spender? Do you believe in buying branded things or would rather save?
This is also the time to talk about marriage and your life as husband and wife. Will you be the person who wants to know everything or would you let your spouse get together with their friends often? Reality is, marriage will set boundaries and as early as now, better discuss them, in order to save your marriage later.
Talk about how you would deal with your problems once you have one. Will you be silent and just let it be or would you rather talk about it? Remember that small resentment can turn big and can affect your relationship.
Intimacy is a part of your marriage talk. Why is this so? Do you know that to keep a strong marriage, you need to have all the intimacy aspects checked? From physical, emotional, intellectual, and most of all sexually. Without these, there is a chance that you will fall apart. We don’t want this to happen.
Are you both willing to try pre-marriage therapies or consultations? Why do you think it is important and how it can help you as a couple? A mutual decision is needed for this and this is the start of both of you thinking “together” as husband and wife.
Talk about finances, your budget, and how you can save.Marriage isn’t just fun and games. It’s the real thing, and if you think that you’re already living together and that is enough, then you are wrong. Marriage is a different commitment; it will test you, your ideals in life, and everything you thought you already knew.
So, after all of this, do you think you still want to talk about marriage? If so, then you are indeed ready.
Everything about it is all about being sure and being ready for the commitment and once you have both agreed on these things, then you’re ready to tie the knot.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.