Great sex! Caught your eyes, didn’t it? Everybody would like to believe that great sex in marriage is or will be part of their lives, but what exactly is great sex in marriage?
Is your idea of great sex in marriage the same idea of your partner’s idea of great sex in marriage or your best friend’s idea of great sex? Is great sex in marriage just a myth? Is great sex in marriage what is shown in the movies available on your computer?
Obviously, this is an area that confounds and concerns many, so let’s explore this topic to find out what exactly makes for great sex in marriage.
“Sex is such a personal thing, so it is extremely difficult to make sweeping generalizations or all or nothing statements,” David Channing, a noted social psychologist, remarked.
He continued, “Whether or not most people want to believe it, our ideas about what constitutes ‘great sex’ all come from the same organ, the brain.”
Being sexy is all about attitude, not the body type. It’s a state of mind.Lots of people agree that great married sex starts with the mind.
The Broadway and movie actor Frank Langella summed it up quite succinctly when he stated, “Intelligence is enormously sexy.”
This article shares 5 sex tips for married couples on how to have great sex in marriage.
1. Use your head
Okay, so since great sex for couples requires the brain to engage, how does one go about to do this?
Some might argue that the last thing they want to think about before engaging in what they hope will be the best sex in marriage is to think “Engage brain. Um, now what?” Think about it.
Good sex in marriage involves two people. Two people need to be of like minds for improving sex in marriage.
This means it must be consensual sex, i.e. both people must be in agreement that they wish to continue the evening (or morning, or afternoon, or coffee break, or…) with each other in a sexual way.
This is simply not only common sense and respectful, but you also would not want to get into legal territory if both partners are not on board.
No matter how full of lust you may be in the heat of the moment, you want to make sure your partner feels likewise before proceeding.
Better sex for married couples happens when many factors come into play: timing, chemistry, communication, trust, and respect all form part of the picture. Before anything else, though, both partners must communicate.
Tell your partner what you like, and equally importantly, what you do not like.
Learning each other’s bodies leads to improving married sex. If he or she is doing something you like, tell that person.
Noises, sighs, grunts, and other sounds can sometimes be misinterpreted, so be sure to communicate to your partner what pleases you or what you feel is not sexy in a way that there is no chance of any misunderstandings.
The actress Carmen Electra quite astutely summed this up declaring:
“I think it’s sexy when someone makes a statement that says, ‘This is who I am. This is what I think is sexy.'” Be straight and direct, so there is no ambiguity as to what pleases and what does not.
3. Spontaneity is a turn-on
Married couple sex life can feel routine after a while. You have your partner’s trust and respect, but the sex is getting rather ho-hum.
This could be caused by many things which have unfortunately made their way into your life and bedroom, events, and other external factors.
You are thinking about something at work or worried about a sick friend or the upcoming holiday season, or you just feel really fatigued, but do not want to disappoint your partner.
Or, maybe you are not trying to implore new sex techniques in marriage. The old saw “I can’t tonight. I have a headache,” certainly has some roots in the truth.
To get out of this rut, or to jazz things up a bit,suggest something new you both have not tried before.
This is the time to cure your curiosity about a new position, a new environment. How about that dining room table? Or perhaps it is time to try the swimming pool — a warm night in the garden.
Just show a bit of restraint–sex is illegal in public places! This could also be the time to try new positions or to pull out the new lingerie you have been saving.
The authors point to an “eroticism of fairness,” which comes from this sharing of chores.
And most importantly, the research found that the couples who shared the workload had greater sexual satisfaction than couples who did not share domestic duties.
Now you do not have to look at that sinkful of dishes with dread nor shudder at the mountain of wrinkled clothing waiting to be ironed: both are foreplay!
5. More does not mean better
Again, the research points to the fact that more sex does not equate to better sex. As in many other areas of life, quantity does not equal quality.
For truly great sex after marriage, the stars really do have to align: both partners have to be more than fond of each other, they have to use excellent communication skills with each other, and enjoy a meeting of minds to enjoy their meeting of bodies further.
Explore these 5 sex ideas for married couples on how to improve sex life in marriage and witness the change yourself
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.