There are good arguments for both, which is why the collective population can’t all agree on it.
The same question arises when it comes to married couples with sex issues as they can look at things this way.
Did the sex dry up on its own and led to issues, or did other issues creep into the bedroom due to which intimacy was affected?
Sometimes the answer to that question is tough to pinpoint. Marriages always have their hard times and their easier times.
When we have easier times, things are just floating along. During those times, we may take each other for granted. We probably even take the amount of sex we are having for granted. But then, come the hard times.
Maybe there is a new baby in the mix, or moving to a new city, or perhaps a new job or a death in the family.
High levels of stress over a long period of time will zap us all of our energy and zest for life. Sometimes, at the end of the day, it feels as if there is nothing left to give.
Our marriage and sex are low on the priority list. Looking for the best sex ideas for married couples is not even in the scheme of things to do.
Unfortunately, we usually put sex problems in marriage on the back burner. And over time, when we don’t do it very often, we even lose our libido.
If you are facing problems in the bedroom, here are some bedroom sex tips and advice for married couples to keep in mind.
1. Realize that you are not alone
A surprising number of married couples have sex issues in their marriage.
And it’s no wonder—do you think there is any way for every married couple to have the same sex drive? The same beliefs about sex? The same level of inhibitions? No way!
Working together towards what is really important could be part of what makes marriage so great. If we can come together to solve problems, we can be stronger.
It happens to everyone. Making sex better in marriage needs persistent efforts. That is one of the best sex tips for marriage that will help fix your dwindling sex life.
If lack of sex is the issue, you’re one of many across the U.S. According to Newsweek magazine, somewhere between 15-20 percent of couples may be experiencing a “sexless marriage,” which some say is having sex less than ten times per year.
As per a 2017 study, more than 15% of men and almost 27% of women reported that they had no sex in the past year.
So, you are definitely not alone. Sex issues in marriage affect a lot of people.
2. It’s okay to talk about sex with your spouse
The thing about sex is that we don’t go into much detail about it outside of our partners.
Sure, during a girls’ night out, the subject of bedroom issues may be on the table, but it’s typically just general terms. The nitty-gritty is saved for the bedroom, as it should be.
But there are many couples who don’t talk about sex to each other ever. Either they don’t think they need to or are embarrassed.
Many a time they aren’t sure it’s OK to talk about, or they don’t quite know how to put words to their feelings.
“Maybe I’ll jinx it” or “It’ll resolve itself” are some of the thoughts that may be going through some people’s minds.
But, you must talk about sex often. Discuss creative sex ideas for married couples or look on the internet for some cool love-making tips in marriage.
If you’ve been married for a long time and the subject has never come up in your pillow talk, then maybe you feel a little silly bringing it up now. You don’t want to make your partner feel bad or that you are unhappy with the way things are going.
But this is a very important subject, and we don’t automatically have everything figured out. So it can’t hurt to talk about it—it can only help.
If you are having trouble breaking the ice, grab a book about sex and marriage, and read it in bed. Most assuredly, there will be questions in the book; you can ask your spouse. “What do you think about this question, honey?”
It doesn’t have to end up as a long discussion, though eventually, it could. Just test the waters a bit until you both get more comfortable talking about it.
Remember, sexual problems in marriages are quite common, and there is nothing for you and your partner to be ashamed of. And talking about it really helps you get to the root of the problem.
As you see, it helps your relationship; it will only encourage you to keep talking more about sex with each other.
One of the best sex tips for married couples is to break the monotony and go on a trip.
If there’s a lack of funds for that, just take a long walk after dinner, plan a long, special date or enjoy a picnic dinner – anything that gets you both excited. Talking will bond you together and enable you to connect deeper.
Here’s why couples who travel together stay together and have healthier relationships.
4. Try something new
Bedroom sex can get so boring. So, how to have better sex in marriage?
It is important to break the sexual rut by constantly exploring exciting ideas centering around better sex for married couples.
On how to have good sex in marriage, don’t let your sex life be so predictable to you or to your spouse.
Just because you are married does not mean that you can’t be adventurous in bed. Discuss your desires openly with your partner, try new positions, sex toys, and new fantasies.
It would also be helpful to try out various bedroom ideas for married couples every week or month to keep the buzz alive in your sex life.
5. Don’t be afraid of sex therapy
If there are sex issues in your marriage and you both aren’t sure what to do, one of the best things you can do is go to a sex or marriage therapist.
There is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to sex therapy. Honestly, this is just you and your spouse going to a therapist and talking. That’s it.
While discussing this particular subject can be awkward at first—remember that your therapist works with many couples with similar issues. Soon their candor will be refreshing as you both open up about your feelings. It will feel very freeing, in fact.
Over the last several years, therapy has become less and less taboo and more widely accepted.
It is common for adults to seek help from a therapist of some kind. Of course, that includes all types of issues, including relationship issues. Still, it shows one major thing—that many people rely on the help of a mental health professional.
What can you expect from sex therapy?
Of course, that depends on the therapist, but in general, you are there to get useful sex tips for happy married life and discuss your intimacy issues.
Sometimes you aren’t sure the root cause of it—in which case, the therapist will try to help you figure it out—and other times, you know what it is, but you just can’t get past it.
Talking about it with a therapist will help you, and your spouse come to a better understanding and hopefully improve your thoughts and beliefs about sex.
The ultimate goal is to help your sexual experience with your spouse with the help of sex ideas for married couples and insights on better sex in marriage.
Remember, sex should never be just a physical rush, but a tender, passionate connection. Without the playful, loving companionship, sex becomes another buzz that loses its perspective, which can harm your relationship.
These are some of the best sex advice for married couples and can really help you and your partner gain back the thrill and excitement in your sexual regime that you once experienced.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.