For any parent who has a child, the goal is to ensure they become responsible, healthy, and successful adults. No parent wants to raise a child they would not be proud of, which can be avoided if the child is raised in the right way and by the right people.
Not everyone is familiar with the idea of partners in parenting. In this piece, we will be talking about what parenting partnerships mean and all it involves.
When it comes to partners in parenting, each person has a special role in the child’s upbringing. However, this does not rule out that there are still general roles that each parenting team member will play.
Daniela Teubert and Martin Pinquart from the Phillips University of Marburg worked on a research study titled: Coparenting- Parents Team-Work in Child Rearing. This study explores the multifaceted constructs centered on parents’ collective efforts in child-rearing.
Who are those on your parenting team?
Primarily, a parenting team should constitute both parents or guardians. In addition, however, people like grandparents, teachers, counselors, coaches, and other concerned adults can be on the parenting team.
The robust support system that a parenting team provides would facilitate the smooth raising of the child. In addition, it makes the task of parenting less tedious for each person involved.
Parenting relationships are essential in supporting the children and establishing a firm foundation to ensure they undergo proper and sound development.
With proper parenting in place, the children would identify and acknowledge that the parent team surrounding them has certain qualities. These qualities will guide them in making crucial decisions like the type of friends to keep, etc.
Darlene Powell’s book titled: Team-Spirited Parenting explores some essential principles that make parenting a success.
Even though partners in parenting sound like a great idea, some hitches can prevent it from working smoothly. These obstacles are not intentionally pitted against each other, but they exist because of their peculiarities. Hence, there are times when a conflict of interest will occur.
Some of the obstacles are mentioned below.
1. The adults
Adults can make parenting as a team difficult due to different reasons. For instance, one parent might be dissatisfied with the abysmal parenting choice of the other parties. Also, if one parent seems to be avoiding their duties, it can cause conflicts between the partners in parenting.
When the whole family is involved in parenting, it can become overwhelming for the adults involved and the child. Everyone would want to have parenting decisions in how the child is brought up, and if there is no understanding, it can hinder a smooth parenting partnership.
Effects of children on effective team parenting
Children have an impact on team parenting, and it is usually subconscious. Once these effects are spotted, it is important to correct them to not affect the adults parenting together.
Here are some of the effects that children have on good team parenting
1. The child’s birth position
It is possible for the adults to be sentimental towards one child over the others, probably because they can identify peculiar similarities. For instance, a child’s birth position can determine the way parents treat them.
If an adult was the last child in their family while growing up, they could give preferential treatment to the lastborn child that they are parenting. This special treatment can cause conflicts between partners in parenting.
Also, if the child’s temperament is the same as one of the parents’, they might be given special treatment. On the other hand, the parent might be at loggerheads with the child when they both share some negative traits.
3. The child’s preference of a particular parent
A child might prefer one parent to the other and even show it regularly. In this case, good partners will understand, and they will not see it as a threat.
Here are some tips to help team parenting become effective
1. Set a parenting goal
One of the first things a parenting team needs to put in place is a goal for the child. Important objectives should be set like: The kind of adult you want the child to be, the value system you want the child to imbibe, etc.
Bringing such ideas or strategies to their notice is much better than not informing them because each adult has a pivotal role in the child’s upbringing. Sometimes, your ideas might need some polishing, and when you discuss with co-parents, they might help brush it up.
4. Don’t avoid responsibilities
If there are several people on the parenting team, do your best not to evade responsibilities. Partners in parenting are expected to always rise to the occasion when the need arises.
Similarly, when there are problems, do not fizzle out and expect other co-parents to handle them. You need to give your input that will help to handle issues when they happen.
5. Create time to discuss with other parents
It is important to set a schedule that allows you to discuss with other parents concerning the child.
You need to know what other parents are thinking so that you will be on the same page. Such meetings can come up once in a week or two weeks, depending on everyone’s availability. Similarly, the meetings should not be in anyone’s interest but the child’s.
One of the primary needs of a child is love, and the partners in parenting have to show them love regularly. This can be exhibited by letting the child know how much they mean to you. It can start off with regular hugs, getting their favorite gifts, etc.
When you love a child, it doesn’t mean that they should not be disciplined when they do something wrong.
Every parent should show the child that they are readily available to attend to the child’s needs. Children who grow up to have good mental health are raised by parents who are warm and sensitive.
8. Set rules and boundaries for the child
It is easy to control your child’s behaviors and excesses when they are young. As they get older, it becomes more difficult. The partners in parenting need to agree on what the child should do and what should be avoided.
These rules would help to shape the child into the kind of adult that everyone expects. When the child defaults on these rules, certain disciplinary measures should be spelled out.
Partners in parenting are essential for a child’s growth and development. Children must grow with good values and morals that make them responsible adults in society. This can be achieved when all hands are on deck and every parent works together as a team.
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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.