Forgiving your partner getting cheated on requires patience, mercy, perseverance, and God’s grace. You never understand the level of hurt until it happens in your own marriage. If you don’t have proper support systems to help you, confusion, mistrust, guilt, and hurt feelings encompass your mind to a point of depression. Your spiritual inclination to God’s word of forgiveness can give you the will to accept and forgive your partner but in one way or the other, you always remember it. It is a challenging experience which breaks most marriages. Here are a few tips to go through marriage adultery in a healthy way
Look at the bigger picture
Don’t just look at your spouse as an enemy and only focus on the infidelity. Look at the positive attributes of your spouse. Have a personal look at some of your defiant behaviors you commit on a daily basis, yet your partner still chooses to stay with you. All sins are equal before God. Your partner sought a pardon after the act; it is time to look at the broad aspect of your married life. Do you still have something you enjoy in the marriage, despite the betrayal? Take one day at a time. Complete healing takes time, surround your mind with positive thoughts to soften your heart for forgiveness. It will take years to accept the sad reality, but the fact that the thought of your partner’s unfaithfulness never raises resentment is a step towards forgiveness.
Trade bitterness with forgiveness
At the beginning, disappointment and anger are inevitable. Whatever form of anger projection you resort to, do it in moderation; after which, and take the time to evaluate the consequences of your actions. For example, you may choose silent treatment towards your spouse, does it solve the problem? What if he or she opts to give you space by staying with the other woman or man? Replace the bitterness in your heart with forgiveness. The Bible teaches us in Mathew 6:14 “if you forgive other people when they wrong you then your heavenly Father will also forgive you” How many times have you sinned against God but He still has the grace to pardon you and call you His child. Memorize this verse any time you think of the infidelity issues in your marriage.
Get past the pain
Yes, it pains to know there is someone competing with you to win your husband’s or wife’s, heart. Get over it, anytime you think of it, nurse the wound through a motivational book, share with friends who has dealt with serial cheating partners and learn how they manage to unconditionally forgive their spouses and still live with them. It is not a walk in the park, but divorce is not an option.
Try to strengthen your love despite the hurt. It might be the beginning of a change in the dynamics of your relationship. You send your partner to a guilt trip, which works to your advantage.” I have betrayed you but you still unconditionally love me” it is not a desperate move but a psychological trick to give your spouse an opportunity to work on forgiveness initiatives to win back your heart. Do not judge your partner; support him or her to keep your marriage intact. Forgiveness is not for the faint hearted.
Never allow bitterness to get deeply rooted in your heart
You slept late because of an upcoming presentation at work tomorrow. The morning alarm rings, you don’t feel like waking up, but the thought of the presentation throws you off the bed. You will never feel like forgiving your partner but look at the effect of holding the grudge in your heart to your emotional and physical health and not your spouse. Are you doing more harm or good to your health? There is no need of extreme bitterness that deprives your physical health. Forgive your spouse and let God work on his or her weakness for you.
Although the bible accepts divorce on grounds of infidelity; it urges us to forgive without quoting the type of sin. The moment when you think of your partner’s unfaithfulness and you seem to have no ill feelings then you are on the right path of forgiveness.