It requires a lot of patience, mercy, perseverance, and God’s grace to forgive your spouse who has cheated on you. God forbid, but you never understand the level of hurt until it happens in your own marriage.
You might come across a lot of prophecy, guidance, or proverbs on forgiveness in marriage, but in actuality, it is very tough to render forgiveness for adultery.
If you don’t have proper support systems to help you, confusion, mistrust, guilt, and hurt feelings encompass your mind to the point of depression.
Your spiritual inclination to God’s word of forgiveness can give you the will to accept and forgive your partner, but in one way or the other, you always remember it.
It is indeed a challenging experience that breaks most relationships and marriages.
The next question that lies ahead is, should you forgive a cheater? In other words, is there forgiveness for adultery?
And, if the answer is affirmative, how to forgive your spouse for adultery?
Now that you are looking forward to forgiveness after adultery, here are a few tips to go through marriage adultery in a healthy way.
Look at the bigger picture
If you are wondering, can a relationship go back to normal after cheating, don’t rush to any conclusion too soon. Do not even try to seek immediate answers.
Don’t just look at your spouse as an enemy and only focus on the infidelity. Look at the positive attributes of your spouse.
Have a personal look at some of the defiant behaviors you commit on a daily basis, yet your partner still chooses to stay with you.
All sins are equal before God. Your partner sought a pardon after the act; it is time to look at the broad aspect of your married life. Do you still have something you enjoy in the marriage, despite the betrayal?
Take one day at a time. Complete healing takes time.
In the meantime, surround your mind with positive thoughts to soften your heart for forgiveness.
It will take years to accept the sad reality, and forgive your spouse. But, the fact that the idea of your partner’s unfaithfulness never raises resentment is a step towards forgiveness.
Trade bitterness with forgiveness
When you try to seek answers for ‘can a cheater change,’ or ‘how to forgive a cheater,’ it won’t be easy to find a way out of your distressing situation.
In the beginning, disappointment and anger are inevitable. Whatever form of anger projection you resort to, do it in moderation, after which, and take the time to evaluate the consequences of your actions.
For example, you may choose silent treatment towards your spouse, does it solve the problem? What if they opt to give you space by staying with the other woman or man?
Replace the bitterness in your heart with forgiveness. The Bible teaches us in Mathew 6:14 “if you forgive other people when they wrong you, then your heavenly Father will also forgive you”
How many times have you sinned against God, but He still has the grace to pardon you and call you His child. Memorize this verse any time you think of the infidelity issues in your marriage. It will help you to forgive your spouse.
Get past the pain
Yes, it pains to know someone is competing with you to win your spouse’s heart.
Get over it, anytime you think of it, nurse the wound through a motivational book, share with friends who have dealt with serial cheating partners, and learn how they manage to forgive their spouses and still live with them unconditionally.
It is not a walk in the park. But, if your partner regrets their actions, and if you have decided to tread on the path of forgiving your spouse after adultery, don’t give up until you truly forgive your spouse.
Although the Bible accepts divorce on the grounds of infidelity, it urges us to forgive without quoting the type of sin. The moment when you think of your partner’s unfaithfulness, and you seem to have no ill feelings, then you are on the right path of forgiveness.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.