10 Common Types of Cheating in a Relationship & How to Deal

Cheating in a relationship is a deeply hurtful and damaging betrayal that can shatter trust and leave emotional scars that last a lifetime. While most people associate cheating with physical infidelity, it can take on various forms, both physical and emotional. 

There are gray areas when defining cheating in a relationship. It’s important to know when to draw the line if you’re the perpetrator or how to tell if your partner is cheating on you. 

So, let’s explore the types of cheating in a relationship that can occur in a relationship and discuss why addressing cheating is crucial.

What is cheating in a relationship?

Cheating in a relationship is a breach of trust where one partner engages in behavior that is emotionally, romantically, or sexually intimate with someone outside the committed relationship. 

While the specific definition of cheating in a relationship can vary from one relationship to another, it generally involves actions that betray the exclusivity and faithfulness expected in a committed partnership. 

Cheating can manifest in numerous ways, from physical affairs to emotional infidelity and even through the misuse of technology and social media.

So, if we put it simply, cheating is being unfaithful to your partner. There are different types of cheating in a relationship, and it doesn’t only involve physical affairs. Instead, cheating can include sexual intimacy, emotional attachment, or gratification from someone other than your partner.

Why is it essential to address cheating in a relationship

Addressing different types of cheating in marriage is crucial because it directly impacts the foundation of trust and respect, which are essential for a healthy partnership. Cheating breaches this trust, creating emotional turmoil and eroding the sense of security between partners. 

Openly addressing it allows for honest communication, allowing one to understand underlying issues and either work toward healing or make informed decisions about the relationship’s future. 

Ignoring or avoiding the issue can lead to prolonged pain, resentment, and a communication breakdown, ultimately hindering the possibility of either reconciliation or personal growth for both individuals involved.

10 most common types of cheating

Cheating in a relationship is a painful betrayal that can take on various forms, both overt and subtle. So, what counts as cheating? It’s crucial to recognize that cheating extends beyond just physical affairs. 

Here are 10 common types of cheating in a relationship, shedding light on the different ways trust can be breached:

1. Cheating sexually

Physical infidelity is one of the most common types of cheating in a relationship. This entails sexual intimacy with somebody that isn’t your partner. It is being unfaithful to your partner and is a breach of a couple’s sexual exclusivity.

Being sexually intimate with a person, not your partner, is the most obvious sign of cheating. In most cases, this leads to a breakup.

An apparent sign your partner is cheating on you is if your sex life has taken a downturn. They will most likely not be interested in physical contact with you.

2. Online affairs

An online affair is one of the forms of cheating. It is a relationship with intimate and sexual undertones that thrives online through texts, calls, and video calls.

The parties may not even know themselves apart from the basic information such as age, profession, and physical appearance from pictures shared.

The parties involved in an internet affair may never meet each other, but their connection can affect their committed relationship. An online affair can evoke feelings of jealousy and anger in a partner. Cyber infidelity can be regarded as betrayal and can break the trust in the relationship.

3. Financial infidelity

Financial cheating occurs when a partner doesn’t come clean about their spending or savings. For example, they could be going over the monthly budget to purchase gifs for their secret lover and, as a result, will hide their financial statement from their partner.

Other reasons for lying about their finances can include a gambling problem, substance abuse problems, and even compulsive shopping. Financial infidelity also entails keeping secrets from your partner and breaking their trust in you.

A cheating partner will spend the savings and even put you in debt, and the worst part is that they will hide it from you.

4. Emotional cheating

Emotional infidelity involves being emotionally attached to someone other than your partner. This type of cheating is easily forgiven because it doesn’t include physical intimacy, but it can also ruin a relationship.

When you’re emotionally involved with somebody, that person takes the role of your confidant, leaving your partner in the back seat of the relationship. Emotional cheating examples involve always confiding in someone other than your partner.

Of course, this amounts to cheating and can make your partner feel left out of the relationship.

5. Fantasizing about someone else  

It is normal to occasionally and briefly fantasize about a person you find attractive. But letting your mind wander and dream of acts that can lead to action can be considered cheating.

Spending hours daydreaming of somebody you find attractive will push you to act on it. Also, fantasizing will lead to dishonest and immoral acts or can take your mind off your relationship.

You’re fantasizing about something that isn’t real and comparing reality to a dream. This can have disastrous consequences on your relationship.

For example, if fantasizing about your doctor will lead you to multiple trips to the hospital and lying about your location to your husband, you’re cheating.

6. Physical affair without sex

Many people ask, “Is kissing cheating when in a relationship?” Just kissing someone who isn’t your partner can be regarded as cheating. You can’t escape the consequences of your action by saying, “We only kissed; we didn’t have sex.”

Participating in activities like foreplay or kissing someone other than your partner can still be considered cheating. However, the fact that sex wasn’t involved doesn’t make it any less hurtful for your partner.

If you are confused about what actions can be considered cheating, it is best to talk it out with your partner. Relationships vary, and you and your partner should put all cards on the table and determine what actions will be considered cheating.

7. Having romantic feelings for someone else

Having feelings for someone other than your partner can be considered cheating if such feelings are acted upon. This can be done by devoting your time to them and spending your savings to buy them expensive gifts.

It’s hard to control your feelings, but on the other hand, you have power over your actions. So, seeing the person you like behind your partner’s back and being secretive about your relationship with the person can be regarded as cheating.

There is no need to feel guilty over having feelings for someone else as they can’t be controlled. But it calls for a proper reevaluation of your situation before it leads to problems.

You also need to realize that for your emotions to count as infidelity, you have to act upon them without giving considerable thought to your partner.

8. Pouring your time and attention into a hobby

You can cheat on your partner with a hobby or interest. Devoting your attention and time to a hobby instead of your partner can constitute cheating.

Instead of spending time with your partner, you will play games, engage in physical activities, or spend the weekend working. 

Don’t get us wrong; this doesn’t mean hobbies are wrong; instead, they should be encouraged when done in moderation. Obsessing over an interest instead of giving your time to your partner can cause a rift in the relationship.

9. Micro-cheating

Micro-cheating involves developing inappropriate and intimate connections outside your relationship. This is one of the common types of cheating in a relationship, and it consists of stalking your ex on social media, having an active online profile on a dating site, or flirting with other people. 

Micro-cheating texting examples also involve sending flirty messages. It is subtle and doesn’t involve physical intimacy. But the lies, secrecy, and betrayal that come with micro-cheating can destroy a relationship.

 

10. Commemorative fidelity

Commemorative cheating happens when a person has fallen out of love and has no feelings for their partner. But they remain in the relationship because of an obligation.

These people justify cheating by arguing that their relationship has fallen apart and that it is not wrong to search for love outside.

5 ways to deal with cheating in a relationship

Dealing with cheating in a relationship is an emotionally complex and challenging process. It requires thoughtful consideration and a willingness to confront difficult emotions. Here are 5 ways to address and handle the aftermath of infidelity:

1. Open communication

Initiate an honest dialogue about cheating. This conversation should be non-confrontational and aimed at understanding the reasons behind the infidelity. 

Expressing your feelings clearly and listening to your partner’s perspective is essential. This can help assess the relationship’s dynamics and determine if there’s a mutual desire to resolve underlying issues.

2. Seek professional help

Engaging with a relationship counselor or therapist can provide a neutral space to explore the causes and implications of cheating. 

Professional guidance can help both partners understand their emotions, communicate effectively, and develop strategies for healing. Therapy can also offer individual support for processing feelings of betrayal and guilt and rebuilding self-esteem.

3. Set boundaries and expectations

After a breach of trust, it’s vital to establish new boundaries and expectations for the relationship. This might include setting clear guidelines about future interactions, communication, and commitments. Re-establishing trust is a gradual process that requires consistent effort and honesty from both partners.

Watch this video where Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, explains the importance of healthy boundaries in relationships and how to set them:

4. Self-care and support

Prioritize your emotional and physical well-being. Engage in activities that promote self-care and seek support from friends, family, or support groups. Healing from the trauma of cheating is not only about the relationship but also about taking care of your mental health and finding personal peace.

5. Reflect on the relationship’s future

Take time to reflect on whether the relationship is salvageable and if you genuinely want to continue it. 

Consider factors like the history of the relationship, the level of commitment from both partners and the potential for change. This decision should be based on a clear understanding of your needs, values, and whether trust can realistically be rebuilt.

FAQs

Relationships can be complicated, and questions about cheating often arise. Here are answers to some of the most frequently asked questions regarding cheating in a relationship:

• What is considered cheating in a relationship?

Cheating in a relationship is when one partner engages in behavior, either physical or emotional, that involves romantic or sexual intimacy with someone outside the committed partnership. It can range from physical affairs to emotional infidelity, deception, or neglect.

• How can I know if my partner is cheating on me?

Signs of cheating in a relationship may include secrecy, emotional distance, changes in routine, defensive behavior, or suspicious messages. However, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner and consider concrete evidence before making accusations.

• What should I do if I think my partner is cheating on me?

If you suspect infidelity, have an honest conversation with your partner to express your concerns. Seek couples therapy to address the issues. Avoid jumping to conclusions and gather evidence before taking any drastic steps.

• How can I rebuild trust after cheating?

Rebuilding trust after cheating requires open communication, transparency, and consistency. Both partners should commit to working on the relationship, seeking therapy, and setting clear boundaries to prevent future transgressions.

• Is it possible to forgive cheating and move on?

Forgiving and moving on after cheating is possible, but it’s a complex process that requires time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Professional help can be instrumental in healing the wounds and rebuilding the relationship.

Takeaway

Now that you know the different types of cheating in a relationship, monitoring your actions and avoiding acts that can hurt your partner will become easier.

Cheating in a relationship can be emotionally devastating, but addressing it is essential for healing and growth. Understanding the various forms of cheating, the importance of addressing it, and employing effective strategies to deal with it can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. 

Whether you choose to rebuild trust or part ways, remember that seeking support from professionals and loved ones can be invaluable during this challenging time.