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A How-to Guide to Being Romantic in a Relationship

Guide to Being Romantic in a Relationship

Long-term relationships can fail for many reasons. Sometimes, couples can grow apart. They can become bored with the relationship, or simply halt in their efforts to respect, understand, and communicate with one another. One of the most crucial, and yet overlooked aspects of a successful and fulfilling long term relationship is the presence of romance. This article aims to express the importance of romance, and gives practical tips and relationship advice on how to be more romantic in a relationship, add or rekindle romance in your relationship.

What’s so great about romance?

Romance is the fuel that keeps a fire burning.  It is the small and yet meaningful  gestures, the comical, the happy, the silly, the crazy.  It’s those events that leave lasting memories, enhance bonds, and work to maintain a sense of connectedness.  And, when you have fun doing it, what have you got to lose?

When love is new

Consider what you did to keep your partner’s interest, to impress her, in the first few months of dating. You probably went out of your way to look your best, maybe cooked his favorite dish, and even participated in some of your least favorite activities just for him (like the play offs or poker night).  Let’s face it – you were putting plenty of effort into that relationship then; probably much more than you are now.  As time goes on, it’s only natural that couples “forget” that these activities that used to raise butterflies were in fact created through hard work and discipline –even if you didn’t realize it.

Do not rest on your laurels

You should not become complacent when things are going well. In fact, this time might be even more critical as time goes on. Time elapsing by itself doesn’t equal love increasing.  Adding romance can rekindle the love between you. So, spruce up your appearance like you did in the good old days; impress your partner with a renewed sense of energy and confidence.

Creating romance         

To recreate romance, start by remembering the person you were before you got married.  What were your interests?  Taking care of yourself first and reinventing your own identity can bring you in touch with your motivation and inner creativity.  Though it may seem counterintuitive; it takes knowing and loving yourself first, before you can begin to truly romance your partner.

Next, consider your partner’s interests, personality and sense of humor.  Would she benefit from a day trip?  Is she into comedy?  Is she sensual? Does she just love Porky Pig? Whatever these may be, answers to these questions will ultimately yield the key to your approach.

Little things

Starting out small can yield big changes.  Placing a live note in his briefcase, calling her from the office, or playing her favorite song into her voicemail, are small ways to start reintroducing romance with the addition of a little fun.  Starting with a few quirky and creative acts of love, you can dive in headfirst or test out the waters – either way, your journey is to figure out what impulsive gestures gain momentum.

Up the ante

Once you are in the habit of initiating those small and spontaneous acts of love, it’s time to break out the big guns.  It does not have to cost a fortune, either.  

 

Here are just a few ideas on how to make your relationship more romantic:

 

  •         Give your lover flowers
  •         Create your own “Love Coupons”
  •         Give your partner a random and unexpected foot bath
  •         Give cheesy greeting cards
  •         Give chocolate
  •         Decorate your room with rose petals
  •         Send her truffles
  •         Read a poem you’ve chosen into their voicemail.
  •         Subscribe to a truffle, perfume, or magazine they love
  •         Read aloud to one another

Rules and milestones

Romantic people often have a set of guidelines they keep to.  Sound silly?  For the romantics at heart, the rules of romance should be taken seriously and adhered to at all times. For example:

 

  • Give gifts only when wrapped – an unwrapped gift is a disgrace to the truly romantic – unless it is given creatively.
  • Remember important dates
  • Know your partner’s favorites

Milestones in your relationship as well as events that were noteworthy for your partner make for great excuses to celebrate. On the occasion of your first kiss, for example, you could present your chocolate-loving partner with a jewelry box filled with Hershey’s kisses.   Each kiss could be wrapped with custom “ribbons” in place of the original Kiss ribbons, that provide statements or fortunes that are unique to your relationship. Alternatively, you could place a cheesy note that says – “I hereby present the recipient with a lifetime supply of kisses”, or “kisses for my partner, to remind us that every time is like the first time…”

Reminiscing together

Reminiscing is the simple act of pulling out those old photos, family videos, or simply sitting together with a glass of wine and reliving those good old times.  Doing so is bound to bring laughter and rekindle those old fashioned feelings as you relive past moments.

Final words

Being romantic is not something that comes naturally for everyone. But it is fun to practice. Once you get the hang of it, your friends and married acquaintances will want to know your secret. Maintaining creative gestures of romance will remind your partner of your love for him or her, and can enhance the bond between you for years to come.

  VERIFIED EXPERT
Kelli Hastings is a writer, social worker, and proud advocate for women. She earned her B.A. degree from the University of Oregon in 2007, and worked as a behavior support specialist and program manager. She is inspired to support couples, teach them skills that lead to healthy, happy and romantic partnerships. Her interests include cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, visualization practice, and related therapies.

More by Kelli H

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Building Emotional Intimacy in Marriage

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