“Every great love starts with a great story.”
Nicholas Sparks, the author of the best-selling romance novel The Notebook had it right when he said that. All romances begin with a special and unique story. Some are amusing, others surprising, and some are magical. If you think back to the beginning of your relationship you will discover a story that made you feel loved, special and excited about the future.
Unfortunately, over the years many married couples forget their story. They become so engrossed with the issues and challenges of life they can’t recall what brought them together in this first place. The relationship moves to the back burner and apathy sets in as they proceed along parallel paths that will ultimately create a distance they may not be able to overcome.
Romance – once a cornerstone of the relationship – is nowhere to be found.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Whether you have been married three years or 30 years you can maintain the romance in your marriage. It takes dedication and effort but it is definitely doable.
The following are five unique ways to keep the romance in your relationship.
1. Engage in constant contact
One of the most romantic things you can do is demonstrate to your spouse they are top-of-mind. There is nothing more special than knowing that although you are apart your spouse is missing you. This is where “constant contact” comes into play. Each week plan to reach out to your spouse when you are apart and let them know they are desired. This can be done in various ways including: text messages; short emails; or phone calls. Leave small gifts, notes or cards behind to be found, or drop them in their purse, briefcase or car. There are numerous ways you can engage you just need to be creative. Plan your connections using an electronic calendar so it provides you with alerts that it’s time to take action and reach out. This does take some effort on your part but it is well worth the playoff.
2. Go dark
For one night turn off everything including the lights, cell phones, television, computers and Go Dark. With just the light reflecting from candles, spend time sharing emotions and laughing together. Slip wine, sit close and share some quality, intimate time together.
3. Mirror chalk messages
Using mirror chalk to write cute, brief messages of affirmation is an amazing to let someone know you care. Something as simple as “I can’t wait to see you tonight” greeting your partner in the morning when he/she looks in the bathroom mirror is something that will stay with them all day long.
4. Praise them in public
Kind words to your spouse will go a long way, especially when they are shared among other people. Don’t hesitate to tell the world how special or unique you believe your spouse is. Share positive words of affirmation among family members, friends, neighbors and others to demonstrate your love and commitment.
5. Wash her feet
This one is for the guys. There is a wonderful scene from the movie The War Room, where the husband gets a pan of warm water and gently massages and washes his wife’s feet. If you have not done this before it is an incredibly humbling experience that may bring tears to your eyes, while making the two of you feel closer than you ever felt before.
Try these romance tips in your marriage and tell me the difference it has made in your relationship.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.