So Valentine’s Day has come and gone once again! Hopefully you and your beloved made good use of the opportunity to show your love for each other in some special ways. Although it’s great to have this “excuse” every February to do something blatantly romantic, it does not have to be confined only to that one day per year. Keeping the romance alive in your relationship can be a year-round pleasure, and here are a few thoughts to get you going in this direction:
Make two “wish list” jars
They say you can teach people how to treat you, and this is certainly true in a loving relationship. How about writing your “wish list” on little pieces of paper and placing them in two special jars (his and hers)? Then every so often you draw one out and make your spouse happy with whatever it says: for example a back rub, or an evening stroll in your neighborhood, a cappuccino, or whatever the little things are that make your day.
Know your love languages
Knowing what your partner’s preferred love language is will go a long way to making each other happy. If you keep showering your wife with gifts when her love language is practical help, she may not appreciate it nearly as much as if you were to fold a load of laundry for her. And if his love language is spending quality time together he may not need lots of words and gifts.
Write meaningful notes
Having said that, meaningful words and notes do go a long way to strengthening your connection with your loved one. Try slipping a little card into his pocket or diary where he will find it later in the day when he gets to work. Or put a love letter into her car before she leaves for work. These notes can build an excitement and joyful expectation about seeing one another again as soon as possible, at the end of the day.
Little gifts go a long way
Gifts definitely have their place, as one usually wants to give to the one you love. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. A flower picked on the way home, or a favourite kind of chocolate or cookie. If your spouse loves nature, bring a leaf, a pretty pebble or a feather you found – just to say you were thinking of each other when you were apart and wanted to bring something thoughtful to share.
Be easy on the eye
Have you ever thought about the fact that your spouse is the one who has to look at you every day? It is easy to slip into a comfortable routine at home and just hang out in old clothes, not really caring how you might look. But how about trying to look good anyway and make sure you dress and groom yourself neatly so you can be “easy on the eye” for your beloved.
Reading is romantic
Have you ever tried reading a book together? You can take turns reading one chapter at a time. Maybe your partner didn’t grow up with the same favourite books that you enjoyed, so now is the time to share those beloved ‘bedtime stories’. Or you could read an uplifting book on some topic in which you are both interested. Or what about a classic love story? If you read a little each day you will be amazed how far you get.
Playing games is fun
Speaking of childhood favourites – what about playing board games together: scrabble, monopoly, pictionary, checkers, chess, or whatever you fancy. You could invite some friends over and enjoy a fun couples evening. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same team, especially with Pictionary, and see how well you can play together. If you are more outdoorsy, why not play croquet, bowls or mini-golf together.
There’s nothing like a surprise to boost the romance in your relationship! You could plan a surprise weekend away, or even just a night out together, someplace you’ve never been before. How about picking your spouse up from work (after making all the arrangements and packing an overnight bag for her) and then off you go to your surprise, secret destination for the time of your lives, making precious memories together.
Calendars are for keeping
If you think you won’t get time to do all this stuff, then get your calendar out and do some serious scheduling! After all, your relationship with your loved one is probably the most important thing in your life – so that means they deserve a significant investment of your time and effort. The years slip by so rapidly. Now is the time to enjoy and build on your relationships in every way possible, keeping the romance alive every day of the year!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Rosemary K