29 Best Relationship Tips From Experts

“A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.”
Love isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily practice. The quiet “How was your day?”, the deep breath before responding, the small, thoughtful act when no one’s watching… these moments shape the heart of a relationship.
It’s not about never fighting or always agreeing—it’s about staying curious, connected, and kind. Relationships evolve, just like we do. And while no one has all the answers, a few heartfelt Relationship Tips can help keep that spark steady and strong, even on the tough days.
What does a healthy relationship look like?
A healthy relationship doesn’t mean everything is perfect all the time—it simply means both people feel safe, valued, and supported as they grow together. It’s about knowing you can show up as your true self and still feel loved.
Whether you’re just starting out or have been together for years, here are a few signs that point to a strong, emotionally nourishing bond and answer to how to maintain a healthy marriage
- Open and honest communication: You talk to each other—not just about daily things, but how you really feel. Even hard conversations feel a little easier when there’s trust behind your words.
- Mutual respect and support: You celebrate each other’s wins and offer comfort during losses. Your differences are acknowledged, not judged. Respect forms the foundation of all lasting marriage advice.
- Emotional safety: You can express your thoughts without fear of being dismissed or criticized. In healthy relationships, emotional safety is what keeps love steady through ups and downs.
- Shared joy and playfulness: You laugh together, make memories, and find joy in each other’s company. Small, light-hearted moments matter—they’re often overlooked but powerful Relationship Tips
- A sense of teamwork: You handle life as a “we.” From bills to big life decisions, there’s a sense of unity. That’s one of the key tips for happy married life—knowing you’re in it together.
29 best relationship tips from experts
A question almost every married person asks themselves at some point. Whether you’re newlyweds or years into your journey, everyone wonders, “What does it take to build a happy, lasting relationship?”
To help answer that, we reached out to experienced Marriage and Family Therapists, as well as Licensed Mental Health Counselors. What they shared are not just helpful tips—but powerful, time-tested insights that can strengthen your emotional connection, improve communication, and keep your relationship thriving.
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Jennifer Van Allen, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Founder, Faith In Counseling
Jennifer Van Allen is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over a decade of experience in guiding couples toward emotional well-being and stronger communication. She is the founder of Faith In Counseling, where she helps partners reconnect with compassion, understanding, and trust.
Her top relationship tips:
1. Take time each day for the two of you alone
Ten minutes face to face; you discuss your day, feelings, goals, and thoughts.
2. Learn to resolve a conflict
Learn how to resolve a conflict by recognizing each other’s strengths and making it a team approach. Avoid trying to prove your way is best, but listen to your partner for a different perspective.
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Emy Tafelski, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Founder, Rooted Growth Therapy
Emy Tafelski is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who supports individuals and couples in healing emotional wounds, deepening connection, and reclaiming authenticity. With her holistic approach, she encourages people to lead with empathy and emotional awareness in their relationships.
Her top relationship tips:
3. Listen to understand your partner
Often in relationships, people listen to answer or defend, which is different from listening to understand. When you listen to understand, you listen with more than your ears.
A research paper published in 2018 states that when one partner listens attentively—showing empathy, nodding, asking questions—while the other expresses stress, couples report better joint coping and greater relationship satisfaction
4. Listen with your heart
You listen with your empathy open. You listen with an attitude of curiosity and compassion. From listening to understanding, you create deeper intimacy with your partner and yourself than you do when you are listening to combat an argument or respond. This is where true connection and intimacy live.
5. Speak from your heart
The more in touch you can be with your own emotional experience, the more clearly you can communicate that experience. Try to talk using “I” statements (I feel hurt; sad; alone; unimportant) to your partner; the deeper your intimacy can and will be.
Speaking from the heart speaks to a different part of the brain than “you” statements or accusations. Speaking from your emotional pain gives your partner a chance to respond to it rather than defend their position.
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Jamie Molnar, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Holistic Therapist & Yoga Teacher
Jamie Molnar is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, trauma-informed yoga teacher, and founder of the Holistic Counseling podcast. She helps individuals and couples find alignment, emotional clarity, and connection through mindful, integrative practices rooted in empathy and self-awareness.
Her top relationship tips:
6. Create a shared vision together
So often come into a relationship with a clear vision of what we want, but we don’t always communicate that effectively with our partner. This can lead to a lot of arguing.
Remember, we are two separate individuals joining into one shared journey together, so we need to create a strong foundation from which to build.
We need to get clear on exactly what we want and where we are headed together to identify the shared vision for a life that you are creating together.
7. Identify and honor each other’s strengths/weaknesses
I believe marriage is successful when we can work as a unified team. We can’t expect our partner to be ALL of the things.
And we should certainly never try to change our partners or expect them to become someone else. Instead, we need to name our strengths and weaknesses and look at where we can fill the gaps for each other.
I recommend writing this out together – naming how we each function best, our strengths and weaknesses, and then defining how we can support your partner and each other as we create our shared vision for life together.
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Harville Hendrix, PhD
Renowned Psychologist | Co-Creator of Imago Relationship Therapy
Harville Hendrix is a globally recognized relationship expert, best known for co-developing Imago Relationship Therapy with his wife, Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. He has dedicated decades to helping couples transform conflict into deeper connection by understanding unconscious patterns in love.
His top relationship tips:
8. Honor boundaries
Always ask your partner if they can listen before you start talking. Otherwise, you will violate their boundaries and risk conflict.
A research article published in HelpGuide.org states that setting healthy relationship boundaries early strengthens connection and self-esteem; using “I” statements, claiming space, and sustaining limits foster respect, reduce enabling, and grow mutual trust.
9. Commit to zero negativity
Negativity is any interaction that in any way devalues your partner, i. e. is a “put down.” That will always trigger a negative emotion called anxiety, and anxiety will trigger a defense of counter-attack or avoidance, and either way, the connection is ruptured.
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Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D
Psychologist | Co-Creator of Imago Relationship Therapy | Gender Equity Advocate
Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt is a psychologist and co-creator of Imago Relationship Therapy. She blends relational psychology with advocacy for gender equity and was honored by the National Women’s Hall of Fame for her work empowering couples and communities.
Her top relationship tips:
10. Become curious when your partner does something that puzzles you or triggers your negative feelings
They may be just being themselves, and you may be responding to what you made up and attributing it to them.
11. Practice daily affirmations
Replace all devaluations or put-downs with affirmations. These include appreciation, gratitude for a caring behavior, that you are together, etc.
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Ellyn Bader, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist | Co-Founder, The Couples Institute
Ellyn Bader is an internationally recognized expert in couples therapy and co-founder of The Couples Institute. With decades of experience, she helps partners develop strong communication and emotional resilience through developmentally based relationship work.
Her top relationship tips:
12. Be curious instead of furious
This is such an important guiding principle. It leads spouses to ask each other unexpected questions like
- What is something you wish I would apologize for, but you have been hesitant to ask?
- And what would that apology sound like?
- What are the words you’d like to hear?
- How would you like me to communicate more effectively that I love, value, respect, and appreciate you?
And asking these questions demonstrates the capacity to handle honest responses.
13. Handle disagreements with collaborative negotiation
Couples inevitably disagree with each other. It is not the size of the disagreement that matters. It is how the couple approaches the disagreement that makes all the difference.
It is common for partners to pit themselves against each other and then compete for who wins and loses. Here is a better alternative to start a negotiation…
- Find a mutually agreeable time to negotiate.
- We seem to disagree about X. Get a mutually agreed-upon definition of the problem, with each stating the disagreement until they agree on what they are discussing
- Each partner names 2-3 emotions that are driving their position
- Each partner proposes a solution in this format. I suggest we try X, which I believe can work for you, and here is how it would also work for me. Embellish how the proposed solution will work for your partner.
This sequence will get your problem-solving off to a much more collaborative start.
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Kate Campbell, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist | Founder, Bayview Therapy
Dr. Kate Campbell is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Bayview Therapy. With years of experience working with thousands of couples, she specializes in helping partners foster emotional connection, resilience, and marital satisfaction through practical, heartfelt strategies.
Her best relationship tips:
14. Prioritize your friendship
Strong friendships are the foundation for trust, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction in relationships.To deepen your friendship, spend quality time together, ask open-ended questions, share meaningful stories, and have fun creating new memories!
Each time you offer support, kindness, affection, or engage in a meaningful conversation, you’re building up a reserve. This emotional savings account represents trust and security, which helps you stay connected and weather the storm when conflict arises.
15. Maintain a positive perspective
Your outlook directly influences how you perceive your partner and experience your marriage. When life gets hard or during times of stress, it’s easy to slip into the habit of minimizing or ignoring the positive things that happen (no matter how small or big they are).
This lack of acknowledgment can build frustration and resentment over time. Shift your focus toward the things your partner is doing versus what they aren’t. Let your spouse know at least one specific quality, attribute, or action you appreciate each day. A little appreciation can go a long way!
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Victoria DiStefano, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Couples & Trauma Therapist
Victoria DiStefano is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who specializes in working with couples and individuals facing emotional roadblocks. Her therapeutic approach emphasizes emotional intelligence, empathy, and teamwork to help couples build strong, enduring partnerships.
Her top relationship tips:
16. Not everyone thinks the same
Try to see the situation from your partner’s perspective, based on who they are and their experiences.
17. Remember, you’re a team
Avoid “You statements,” replacing them with “We” and “I” statements. Go, team!
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Robert Ross, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist | Relationship & Communication Specialist
Dr. Robert Ross is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with extensive experience helping couples navigate conflict, emotional disconnection, and communication breakdowns. Through his compassionate, insight-driven approach, he empowers partners to better understand themselves and their impact on each other to create lasting relationship change.
18. Pay attention to yourself.
Before pointing fingers, pause and reflect inward. Becoming aware of your own emotional triggers, patterns, and habits is the first step to creating meaningful change in your relationship.
19. Identify how you help/promote/affect your partner in the way you don’t like him/her.
Sometimes, without realizing it, we reinforce the very behavior we find frustrating. Ask yourself, “What am I doing—or not doing—might be contributing to this dynamic?”
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Stephen Snyder, Sex Therapist
Certified Sex Therapist | Author & Relationship Expert
Dr. Stephen Snyder is a nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist, psychiatrist, and author specializing in intimate relationships and erotic connection. With over 30 years of clinical experience, he helps couples reignite passion and improve emotional and physical intimacy through honest communication, deep presence, and playful connection.
His top relationship tips:
20. When you disagree, as you often will, learn how to argue well
What not to do:
- Don’t try to convince your partner how much happier they’d be if they just did things your way. That invalidates their feelings, which ordinarily just makes people dig in their heels.
- Don’t assume there’s something wrong with your partner just because they disagree with you. Yes, your partner might be anxious, obsessive-compulsive, and stuck in their ways. But they also have a valid right to their opinions.
- Don’t assume that if only your partner loved you more, they’d give you what you want. In the best relationships, both partners learn to stand their ground even though they love each other, mainly because they love each other.
What to do:
- Always search for ways to get enough of what you need and want.
- Make sure you each bring meaningful input to all significant decisions. You never know exactly how a decision will turn out, so make sure it has both your names on it.
21. Keep your erotic connection strong, even when you’re not having sex
The average American couple these days has sex less than once a week. That’s not so surprising, given that the first thing most of us do in the morning is, turn immediately to our smartphones.
But sex once a week isn’t enough to keep your erotic connection strong. It is important to cultivate the erotic connection the rest of the time.
- Don’t just kiss your partner goodnight. Instead, hold them close, feel their body against yours, inhale the scent of their hair, and savor the moment. Go to sleep feeling mildly excited. The next time you have sex, you’ll be primed to enjoy it more.
- When you leave for work in the morning, don’t just kiss your partner goodbye.
Instead, simmer them goodbye, hold them passionately, breathe together, give them a real wet kiss, then look deeply into their eyes and tell them you’ll miss them. The payoff is good lovemaking. Later on, it can be substantial.
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Dr. Katie Schubert, Sex Therapist
Certified Sex Therapist | Founder, Cypress Wellness Center
Dr. Katie Schubert is a Certified Sex Therapist and the founder of Cypress Wellness Center. With a background in psychology and holistic wellness, she helps couples strengthen intimacy, navigate sexual challenges, and build fulfilling emotional and physical connections through compassionate, evidence-based guidance.
Her top relationship tips:
22. Touch your partner regularly
Hugs, kisses, massages…the works. And sex. Touching increases intimacy and reduces anxiety and tension.
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Beth Lewis, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor | Relationship & Communication Specialist
Beth Lewis is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor known for her heart-centered approach to helping couples navigate emotional disconnection and conflict. She focuses on deep listening, presence, and self-awareness to foster understanding, intimacy, and growth in long-term relationships.
23. Active listening
Keys to shifting our ways of loving and being loved are found within the art of ‘active listening’ to truly hear from within our hearts until we’re understood.Marriage is the most challenging yet rewarding relationship any of us can traverse.
24. Make room for love to grow
Listen to the one you love with your whole heart while fully present until you “hear” something new. Lean in with an intention to seek to know each other re-learn each other repeatedly over time.
Allow, accept, and learn who you each are daily. Allowing each other to be who they are, means we don’t aim to fix or suggest ways to change.
Hearts that are genuinely heard are hearts that are deeply understood. Understood hearts are hearts better suited to allow love in, to love out, and take healthy risks on love.
Commit to hearing, understanding each other with presence until you hear and understand, and make your marriage a work of the heart!
25. Watch for inflexible expectations and beliefs
Marriage is challenging, stressful, and fraught with conflict. Conflict offers us opportunities to grow closer and wiser or grow apart and in frustration. The common denominator underlying most conflicts couples face the need to be ‘right’ from feeling misunderstood.
- Choosing to improve conflict resolution skills through active listening and willingness to increase flexibility instead of being right are highly effective solutions for couples seeking to grow closer over time and master conflict resolution.
- Applying skills and concepts surrounding acceptance is also well known to assist couples’ progression beyond non-dialectical problem-solving skills and toward increased intimacy, authenticity, and courageous vulnerability.
- Remaining inflexible while maintaining the need to be ‘right’ can jeopardize the overall health of the marriage in the long term while increasing tension as well. Give acceptance and conflict solution skills a chance. Your marriage is worth it! As are you.
Lori Kret, LCSW & Jeffrey Cole, LP
Licensed Therapists | Co-Founders, Aspen Relationship Institute
Lori Kret and Jeffrey Cole are experienced licensed therapists and co-founders of the Aspen Relationship Institute. Together, they help couples build resilient, emotionally intelligent partnerships by focusing on self-awareness, mutual respect, and ongoing personal and relational growth. Their collaborative approach is rooted in real-world insight and therapeutic depth.
Their top relationship tips:
26. In marriage, there is rarely one objective truth.
The healthiest marriages are those in which each partner is willing to grow, continuously learn more about themselves, and evolve as a couple. Partners get stuck arguing over details, trying to validate their truth by proving their spouse wrong.
Successful relationships create the opportunity for two truths to exist in the same space. They allow both partners’ feelings, perspectives and needs to be validated even when they are different.
27. Stay curious
The minute you assume you know your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, is the moment you’ve become complacent. Instead, remind yourself to stay curious about your partner and yourself, and always look for where you can learn more.
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KathyDan Moore, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist | Couples & Communication Specialist
KathyDan Moore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping couples improve communication, rebuild emotional connection, and navigate relationship transitions. With a direct yet compassionate approach, she guides partners toward healthier dialogue and greater mutual understanding for long-lasting relational health
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, the number one reason I see couples coming in for therapy is that they have ignored the warning signs for too long. Here are two tips to keep your marriage healthy, happy, and flourishing.
28. Commit to communicate
Commit to open communication no matter how uncomfortable and awkward you may feel. It is vital to develop the time and space to spend with your spouse regularly, so you have the opportunity to communicate about each other’s wishes, goals, fears, frustrations, and needs.
Acknowledge that you see scenarios through your lens and be proactive in creating fluid, ongoing dialogue to understand the other’s perspective better.
29. Have your own life
This may sound contradictory; however, it is essential to maintain your hobbies and pursuits while also creating common interests. Resentment boils over when you give up things you love. Plus, having diverse experiences allows you to have more interesting things to share with your partner.
At the same time, finding activities and experiences you enjoy doing together creates a commonality and bond in your marriage.
Ending note
Relationships aren’t about being perfect—they’re about being present, kind, and willing to grow together. Every couple has its own rhythm, its own story, and its own set of challenges. What matters most is the choice to keep showing up—for each other, and for the love you’re building.
These relationship tips, shared by experienced therapists, are gentle reminders—not rules. Take what fits, leave what doesn’t, and trust that even small changes can create big shifts.
Whether you’re searching for tips for happy married life or thoughtful marriage advice, remember: love is in the effort, the listening, and the everyday moments you share. You’re doing better than you think—and your relationship is worth the care.
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