Believe it or not, even the most beautiful, self-confident women experience relationship insecurities from time to time.
All women have their days or moments when something their partner says or does triggers a memory or an experience that brings on feelings of insecurity.
What makes a woman insecure in a relationship? What causes insecurity in a woman?
The reasons are diverse so let’s dive right in and look at what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
Why are women so insecure?
You don’t have to look further than the media to know what contributes to a feeling of insecurity in a woman. From an early age, women are bombarded with images of the most perfectly photoshopped of females.
Whether in print, television, movies, on the ‘gram, YouTubers, …what women see when they look for representations of how they “are supposed to look” are images that are absolutely unobtainable in the real world.
Being surrounded by these perfect pictures can make anyone feel like they are not good enough.
So using that knowledge as a baseline, let us look at how this feeling of “not being enough” can impact a relationship.
What makes a woman insecure in a relationship? How can you identify if the woman you are interested in may be insecure?
5 things men do that can make a woman feel insecure in their relationship
Guys, you may not even be aware you are doing these things. But read on if you are wondering what makes a woman insecure in a relationship!
1. Commenting on other women’s appearance
Even if you remark on other women “in all innocence,” that fact you are looking at other women while in the company of your partner can stir up signs of insecurity in a woman.
In her mind, she should be the center of attention, so special and unique that you literally cannot be distracted by any other woman in the room.
There is no point in taking your partner to a fancy restaurant if you are going to comment on the other women instead of complimenting her. This will just add to what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
In addition to making your partner feel “less than,” offering comments on another woman’s physical attributes is rude. It is viewing women as objects, commodities to be rated.
So not only are you contributing to what makes a woman insecure in a relationship, you are showing a side of the male personality that is better left hidden and silent.
Even if you think that stranger walking past you two is hot, keep it to yourself. And put into practice saying uplifting, positive things about your love partner. This can counterbalance what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
Everyone has the right to their own secret garden.
But when that secret garden extends to hiding your phone or keeping it on silent every time you are with your partner, or never checking your texts or emails when she is around, or having gaps in your timeline where she cannot reach you.
These behaviors contribute to what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
What these behaviors convey to her is that you have something to hide. She wonders if this is why you always turn your phone off when you are together.
If you are frequently unreachable with no or lame excuses, this will also set off insecurities, especially for a woman who has been cheated on.
3. Dismissing your partner’s contributions to a conversation as “dumb” or “stupid”
Of course, if you are dating her, she is intelligent and witty. But even the most educated woman can have an off day and say something that isn’t the smartest comment ever made.
Do not jump in and criticize her. Do not say, “OMG, how could you even think that?” You do not need to assert your own braininess. It will only contribute to what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
Women grow up thinking they are not as smart as men. If your love does make a comment that seems a little, well, off base, just let it slide. Or ask her why she is thinking that? You may be surprised at her answer.
4. Playing hot and cold and making excuses for committing
You may think playing hot and cold will keep the woman on her toes, but it doesn’t.
There is nothing more insecurity-provoking than a man who is alternately very present, loving, and communicative, followed by no phone calls, texts, emails, or even a brief “sorry I’m super busy right now” on WhatsApp.
This indeed is crazy-making, gaslighting behavior. If you want a good healthy relationship with your partner, check in with them.
Honesty and authenticity is the best way to deal with an insecure woman.
5. Way too much talk about your ex
It’s one thing to share with your new partner a brief overview of why you are no longer with your ex.
It’s another, more insecurity-provoking thing to constantly bring up your ex. Or interact with them on social media.
While a friendship with your ex may indeed be completely innocent, this lingering relationship adds to what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
Insecure women in relationships need tidy endings to your past relationships. Otherwise, they imagine that they could lose you to an ex or that you are still secretly sleeping with an ex while dating them.
5 ways to help her avoid being insecure in relationship
If you find yourself attracted to an insecure woman and want to combat what makes a woman insecure in a relationship, here are five ways you can help her avoid feeling insecure.
1. Publicly talk about how great she is
Nothing helps prop up a person who feels insecure than hearing their partner brag about them in front of friends and family.
Seek occasions to talk about how wonderful she is, how well she does at her job, how much you value her, whether on social media or when out with friends.
It will go a long way in helping negate what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
2. Don’t play games
Be on time for dates. Call her when you say you will call her. If you need to have your phone off, let her know beforehand.
This will all contribute to helping her feel cared for and secure with you.
3. Touch her
Be tactile, even if not leading to sexual intimacy. In fact, spend a night just cuddling.
A strong, tight hold all night long can really up the security level in your relationship.
Research suggests that in addition to providing your partner with feelings of comfort and security with physical touch, the love-bonding hormone oxytocin is also released in response to skin stimulation, such as stroking your partner’s arm.
All of this can help diminish what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
Now you know what makes a woman insecure in a relationship and what you can do to avoid it.
Of course, not every reason for a woman to feel insecure is justified.
If you find the woman in your life to be unreasonable or having irrational expectations, you must talk to her openly about her behavioral traits that are bothering you. Honest communication can help you unveil the root cause of the lingering issues.
Also, do not shy away from seeking professional help if you feel that the problems persist despite making an honest effort to sort them out.
Insecurity can indeed plague a fulfilling relationship. You must try by all means to avert all the possibilities that make a woman insecure in a relationship and pave the way for a happy and healthy connection.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.