How Low Self Esteem Affects a Relationship

How Low Self Esteem Affects a Relationship

The idea of love thyself is not too far fetched. If you do not believe that you are worth it, or good enough, how can you expect your partner to think so?

1. You are always the victim

It is one of the trickiest of things, having to deal with your own insecurities.

You are always in defensive mode. The fight and flight mode is always on, and you are in constant flux.

Low self-esteem can make one test or sabotage their potentially good relationship. Or it can result in you settling for less.

Low self-esteem can also result in severe defensive mode. One can hide behind childish banters or arguments. You could try and travel the wave and wait it out, but it would rarely set out in your favor.

2. You give them way too much credit

Being in love is like the start of spring.

The romance is blooming, the fragrance is everywhere, and you are enamored by everything. You start to live in a fantasy, and everything you see or touch is love. However, seldom is the case. When such idealization starts to take hold, it is pretty easy to lose hold of reality and always defend your loved one.

Because of the self-esteem, one usually thinks too less of themselves and take the blame of every lacking upon themselves, be it from the partner as well.

3. Jealousy is never a flattering shade

Let’s be honest; we all have been jealous of that one person who was a tad bit too close with your significant other at that particular moment.

A healthy amount of jealousy is not too wrong; however, one must keep a check on what is triggering bouts of jealousy, and try and steer clear of those particular tasks.

A good life partner will never let you feel jealous; however, the blame cannot be completely one-sided. Jealousy is usually the side effect of low self-esteem. If you think that your partner deserves better, you become more susceptible to the fear of being dumped.

Jealousy is never a flattering shade

4. You have the need to change and will change if need be

One should not sacrifice their personality for anything. We are all unique and made for a different purpose. It is our destiny to shine and create sparks in our own unique space.

It is only because of low self-esteem that people feel the need to twist and change themselves just so they can be praised by others and fit better.

Changing your personality for someone else is never the sign of a healthy mind or relationship.

5. Playing the blame game and drawing a constant comparison

Happiness comes from within.

If you are happy, being in an unpleasant situation would not be able to squash your spark, however, if you are sad or unhappy from within, it would be difficult even to crack a smile.

If you think that your partner lost their temper because you did not do the dishes or because you forgot to call them which resulted in the start of the downward spiral, you start believing that everything is your fault – this kind of thinking is the first sign of low self-esteem and an unhealthy relationship.

In several worst-case scenarios, the significant others start to exploit this habit.

The best way for this is to seek help; try and make your partner understand so that they can be patient with you – thus you can carve your way towards a healthier and more mutually beneficial relationship.

6. You stick with a bad seed even though they are bad for you

The relationship is going downhill, your significant other is mistreating you, life is a chaos, you are losing yourself and your loved ones – yet you refuse to leave them.

Such kind of dependency is a result of low self-esteem. When you feel that you cannot survive without your partner.

The idea of always being together is not romantic or a gesture of love, quite on the contrary it suggests dependency and lack of trust.


No one is perfect if such problems arise one should seek help instead of giving up and just living one day after the other. The point of life is to live and experience each day with new opportunities and happiness. Self-esteem, at the end, is just you loving yourself and being happy for what you are – whatever it may be.