Being in a relationship can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Having someone there to love and support is amazing. Unfortunately, when a problem arises, it can put a damper on things. Relationship problems do happen.
Time and again, researchers and experts have pointed out communication plays a primal role in balancing relationship equations between partners. And, one of the significant relationship issues can be related to poor or lack of communication.
On the one hand, excellent communication can wave off disputes between couples and other marriage relationship problems. But, on the other, contemptuous communication is capable of disrupting the health and well-being of marriage, thereby giving rise to further relationship problems.
Marriage researcher, John Gottman holds contemptuous communication accountable for causing irreparable damage owing to relationship difficulties, which eventually end up in divorce.
And the surprising part here is bad relationships can lead to bad health.
Disagreements occur and mistakes are made, but how you choose to deal with relationship issues is what really matters.
Whatever the issue may be, here is how relationship problems should be handled. Check out the following tips to cope with marriage problems.
Also, read – How to resolve your relationship problems
How to deal with problems in a relationship
Every couple is unique, so every marriage or relationship has a different story to narrate.
Relationship dynamics are different, so are relationship problems.
It is a fact that the longer two people stay with each other, the more likely they are to lock horns frequently with each passing day. But, the love and affection one feels for the other is enough to wipe out relationship problems.
Also, read – How to solve relationship problems without breaking up
But, they have to learn the trick of how to handle relationship problems like a pro.
Now, there are specific marriage problems that are likely to get worse over time. Issues like –
- Lack of sexual intimacy/chemistry between partners
- Cheating and exploring other options outside the marriage
- Different spending habits
- Unresolved matters of the past
- Inability to communicate, and so on
But, couples can work together towards the common goal of setting things right by following some of the helpful tips for relationship problems.
1. Stop arguing
Arguing does not solve anything.
According to a 2019 survey, 20% of the couples said that they argued with their partner over money issues atleast once a week.
Such arguments can turn small relationship problems into large ones. To properly handle a difficult situation the first thing you must do is stop arguing. Rather than arguing, a couple has to handle the dilemma in a calm manner.
But, the other side of the coin states that the couple that fights together stays together. Four times NYT bestselling author, Joseph Grenny says, “The success of a relationship is determined by the way in which sensitive issues are debated.”
So you see, arguing is not all bad, if it is done in a proper manner. Instead, we can put it like this – communicate honestly and calmly.
2. Manage your emotions
One major relationship problem that crops up is when partners are unable to manage their emotions.
A study on Emotion Regulation During Relationship Conflict Interactions says the negative emotions felt by one partner is directly connected with the negative emotions of the other partner.
Negative responses during a conversation are likely to attract equally negative expressions from the other.
So, prior to addressing the issue(s) directly, take some time to get emotions under control.
Agreeing to stop arguing and actually doing it are two totally different things. Take some time to cool off and calm down
Choosing to do so is very wise.
You want to face the situation with a level head.
3. Address the relationship problems
Once emotions are under control, address the relationship problems with healthy communication, one at a time. This is how you deal with marriage issues.
The only way to begin is by talking it out. Research says there are four different types of communication in relationships; each come with their fair share of benefits and costs. Now, it is up to the couples to understand which type will best work in resolving their relationship conflicts.
Both sides have something to say and those things must be said. This is the time to be open with your partner and express how you really feel without being disrespectful or argumentative.
4. Come up with a resolution
After taking the time to talk, start working towards a common goal, i.e. resolution.
At some point, someone has to say, “Let’s solve this so we can move forward”. If it is something silly, put things in perspective and let it go. As for more serious situations, find a solution that works best for both parties.
Experts like psychologist and dating coach, Samantha Rodman says, “When you have a good night’s sleep, you can much more easily see your partner’s position and empathize, which means that making up is finally possible.”
But, other researchers found that men are less competent to suppress a negative memory after they slept than they were before their sleep.
Coming up with a proper solution before you hit the bed can save your relationship from going downhill. This will probably involve change so commit to taking action. This will help to resolve relationship problems and help your marriage grow and become stronger.
Shift your perspective wisely
After reaching a resolution, it is time to welcome positivity back into the relationship. Go out on a date, cuddle on the couch or enjoy an intimate evening in the bedroom.
When you handle relationship problems in a healthy way, making up is wonderful.
Shifting your perspective a little bit and handling difficulties wisely can play a crucial role in saving your marriage and drastically improving it too.