Narcissism is a Greek word that involves personal admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance. It’s a condition of extreme self-love.
In addition, a person who is a narcissist is selfish; they do not need to be beautiful to believe that they are. Instead, they are convinced by themselves that they are beautiful and superior to others. Dealing with a narcissist becomes difficult if you are not able to pinpoint these facts to them. Though it could be easier said than done, nevertheless, it is something that needs to be done.
Personality traits of a narcissist
When the love for yourself gets to an extreme level, then narcissism changes into a personality disorder. A person suffering from this syndrome acts weirdly, and the attitude and behavior of that person cannot be considered as normal. Certain traits of such people give rise to behavior which, if identified, can help you in dealing with a narcissist.
Here are some behaviors exhibited by a narcissistic person which are discussed below. If you want to know how to handle a narcissist, read on:
Praise is what they require all the time
Their hunger for praise is endless. And most importantly, this praise is only for them, and they want nobody to expect the same from them.
As a matter of fact, if sometimes they do not hear the same heart winning compliments then they get angry and frustrated.
At the same time, research has also shown that excessive praising can actually lead to narcissism in children.
Excessive sense of self-admiration
They do not understand the fact that others also have a heart and everybody possesses some value. Narcissists never feel for others; they indeed want themselves to be treated superior to others.
A sense of superiority
Irrespective of whether they have achieved anything or not they possess a certain sense of superiority that always surrounds them.
They want themselves to be recognized as having a prominent status than the rest around.
They exaggerate their achievements
Furthermore, if they have a talent for something that has even allowed them to achieve what they desired; so these accomplishments are always exaggerated by narcissists.
Focused on beauty and power
A preoccupation with thoughts about beauty, power, brilliance, ideal life partner is another significant characteristic of such people. It may be difficult to notice at times because many people are attracted to these things but people who have experience of dealing with a narcissist know that their preoccupation is at a different level altogether.
Crafty in nature
They manipulate things and think of tricky methods to get what they want. Moreover, they may also take advantage of other people, be very polite and kind to get their will accepted. In fact, a study conducted by the University of Alabama even showed that such people can strategically try to even make their partners jealous.
They are always envious of others and also think that others envy them as they are perfect beings possessing beauty with brains. This makes dealing with a narcissist pretty difficult since they think that people are just out to get them when they point out their narcissistic tendencies.
Can’t accept criticism
Lastly, they react to any sort of criticism against them with extreme arrogance (check out this interesting study that talks about the relation of criticism with narcissism).
Did you know that there’s another disorder that imitates both narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Check out this video to know the similarities and differences:
How to deal with a narcissist
It’s too difficult to deal with a narcissist since they don’t accept what they are going through, which is a personality disorder. Also, when they are asked to visit a doctor, they may react to it with anger because the prospect definitely hurts their self-esteem. It may even result, at times, in narcissistic abuse which can take a toll on a partner or a close one.
Then what to do? How to make them realize that they exhibit narcissistic personality traits?
It’s not too complicated. Following are some secrets that help us to deal with a narcissist.
Want to know how to deal with a narcissist husband, father, mother, wife, friend or sibling? Begin with talking to them politely instead of reacting to their behavior angrily. Listen to what they think and feel and then gradually find a solution to it.
Never fight or force them to do anything which is against their mindset.
Narcissists are always conscious about their looks, their attitude, and their overall personality, but they may look awkward to others. So it’s important for us to ask them questions like, ‘Have you ever thought what would other people think about you?’, ‘Don’t you want to know what others feel about you and your extraordinary behavior?’, or ‘Do you want to look imperfect in front of others?’
Such questions will surely make them wonder about their behavior. Because they always want to look good, they will try to change them, but gradually.
This is one of the very effective tips to talk to a narcissist.
Opt for a ‘NO’ to many of their questions
Every time such people get approval for what they say, they get more spoilt which makes living with a narcissist an uphill task at times. They believe that only they are correct while others are against them. For instance, if your friend, who is a narcissist says, ‘Don’t you think that I am smarter than that colleague of ours?’
The best way to respond to a narcissist is that your answer must be negative. But in addition to saying no, you must explain the reason as well while dealing with a narcissistic personality. Try to convince your friend to count the positive qualities of the people around them.
Develop empathy for others
While dealing with a narcissist, it must be taught to them that it’s okay to be an ordinary person. Empathy for others is necessary for building relationships with them.
When ties with your colleagues, friends or siblings are good, you feel comfortable in their company. This even allows you to share your thoughts.
In addition to this, understanding others is vital; a narcissist must learn to walk in someone else’s shoes.
There’s no shame in visiting a psychologist
The answer to who we are is perceived from others’ eyes. We may get too selfish and self-centered that we deny the presence of the people surrounding us. Hence, if you get to pinpoint your narcissistic characteristics, then visit a psychologist who has the right experience in dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. Discuss your problems and get rid of them.
Also, if someone you know is showing these signs then by all means, suggest them to get help but to get a proper response, always remember to be polite and not defensive while confronting a narcissist.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.