A Heartbreaking Tumblr Post Reveals Why Relationships Fail
Love… it’s such a mystery!
Many have attempted to define what love is. The mystery of something so miraculous has baffled too many people. Artists have made creations as their ode to love; poets, lyricists, painters, and sculptors have used love as an inspiration to demystify something so transcending. Even scientists have tried to define it concerning hormones, pheromones, social structure, yet the question still remains: What is love, really?
Poet, Taylor Myers (who goes by the Tumblr handle: acutelesbian) has shared an original work of hers explaining why relationships fail:
Her original work is a poignant, tender, and bittersweet definition of what love is. Her work resonated with a vast number of people on the internet, over a million people to be exact.
When we looked through Taylor’s post, we could immediately sense the dichotomy of what love is: Intense and fiery passion running through such a young relationship; and when the passion is gone and life sets in, one is left with nothing but ashes of what once was.
After realizing how much traction her post has made, she, later on, supplemented the original post with an explanation and with a different stand:
Many people expressed their skepticism regarding the class that Taylor was referring to called ‘Relationships for Life’ to which she replied:
“That class without a doubt molded the way I view and handle all my relationships, romantic or otherwise,” Taylor told Bored Panda. “And I think they’re all healthier and more transparent because of that class. It should be taught everywhere.”
Here is what we took from this post.
1. Remain committed to your spouse
What people do not recognize is that love is a feeling, commitment, however, is a whole different thing. When you love someone, you have feelings of adoration and admiration, when you decide to commit, that’s when love becomes an action. Commitment makes all the difference when one is in love.
Commitment is what makes one person continuously choose their person despite any difference or adversity.
2. Stay with your spouse through thick and thin
When you get married, you are committing to choosing your spouse always. Not just on their good days, but also, on the bad days.
3. Show respect to your spouse
When you get married, you always have to think of the best of your spouse. They are your best friend after all, and it is them who you will be facing the rest of your life with.
When you think the best of them, you are showing respect, and mutual respect is part of the foundation of a healthy marriage.
You won’t get along always, but that’s okay. The goal of a healthy argument is to find the balance and compromise.
4. Don’t let the relationship turn ugly
By the end of Taylor’s original prose, she said: Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
5. Embrace change, because change is inevitable
It does feel scary when you think about it that way. But it’s true that after a while, your spouse will be different than the person you met 5 or 10 or 15 years ago, but that’s because they are humans and they are evolving and continually changing just as much as you are.
6. Do not ever take your partner for granted
Find new ways to always remind them that they mean so much to you. Always remind your spouse just how charming or endearing they are through words of affirmation especially during the most crucial times in your relationship. Fuel your sex lives by trying out new things either in bed or in activities that you could enjoy together.
However, do not also be afraid to spend time apart. Having activities that you can enjoy independently brings new things to converse about.
7. Work towards understanding your spouse better
This can be achieved by open communication, including, healthy arguments. A perfect relationship isn’t one without fights; it’s a relationship where two people find a place of common ground, a place of compromise.
8. Learn to communicate with your partner the right way
When you learn how to communicate with each other, you are achieving a whole new level of understanding. You both are exercising communication to the heart, from the heart. When you do so, you are allowing yourselves to grow closer and be more intimate.
It cannot be stressed just how vital it is to build on your communication. After all, you will be conversing with this person for the rest of your lives, just as Nietzsche said:
“Marriage as a long conversation. – When marrying you should ask yourself this question: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this woman into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time that you’re together will be devoted to conversation.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.