How to Find True Love: 15 Ways

Being in love is a beautiful feeling. ‘When will I meet my soulmate?’ is a question all of us have asked ourselves at some point. Searching for and finding genuine love is something that can change lives definitively.

How will you know what love is like and what exactly it is that you are experiencing? We have outlined below some foolproof ways how to find true love. Follow these steps of love to identify your soulmate truly.

What is true love?

Even as you think you have found love, you may wonder if it is the ‘true love’ everyone is seeking. 

What does true love feel like?

What are the key elements of true love?

True love means you have an unbreakable and unwavering affection and adoration for someone. It feels like true love when there is a deep emotional and physical connection between two people. 

It is also called true love when you feel that you wouldn’t mind putting yourself through discomfort or inconvenience to make things easier for someone. True love wants the other person to be happy – even if it is not with you.

What are the three types of true love?

According to the Three Loves Theory by Helen Fisher, there are three types of true love. Every love is not experienced in the same way. The three types of love include the following –

1. Lust

The first type of love is lust. Based solely on attraction, lust is when you are physically attracted to someone in the moment. Lust is spontaneous.

Related Reading: 20 Practical Ways to Overcome Lust in a Relationship

2. Passion

The second type of love is passion. It is passion when two people are smitten and almost obsessed with each other. They stare into each other’s eyes, smile from ear to ear, and feel elated. 

In this type of love, lovers may feel they can conquer the world if their partner is by their side.

3. Commitment

The third type of love is commitment. This type of love is rooted, calm, and relaxed.

Commitment makes one feel secure and safe. Commitment is unconditional and does not depend on how the other person feels or reciprocates your acts of love.

Signs of true love in a relationship

Now that you know what true love feels like and how it shows up, you may wonder if you and your partner are truly in love. Well, while true love is abstract, it can show up in some tell-tale signs. 

In the smallest signs, you may see true love in a relationship, such as planning the future together, sacrifices, unconditional commitment, and more.

For more signs of true love in a relationship, read this article.

Ten steps to find true love

The famous author Edgar Allan Poe once said, “We loved with a love that was more than love.”

This is the kind of overriding love people wish to find in their lifetimes. And this is not something that is born of a writer’s imagination. True love happens all the time.

How can you find true love?

Here are a few basic steps towards preparing yourself to find that love. Go through them and find exactly the person your heart yearns for:

1. Make a wish, set a goal

It is said that when you intend something, the Universe works to get it right for you. Why not set a goal for yourself in this matter! Affirm to yourself the intent of finding true love.

“Your thoughts become things.” Positive affirmation is like magic. Use your intent to move the forces in the Universe.

Believe that when you set your mind toward how to find true love, events will arrange themselves to your will.

2. Identify what manner of love you are looking for

Everyone looks for different things in a partner. Some like adventure, others like settling down, and others want security. Identifying what you want will help you find a true kind of love.

We might often need clarification on what we want from life and love. Sit back and take some time to clear your mind. Once you know precisely the type of person whom you would like, it helps narrow down choices.

According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:

Thinking about what you want in a partner will help you prioritize finding that.

3. Make yourself happy, and you will attract love

Read anything about finding real love, and there will be one thing in common – finding happiness within! Have you noticed how some people radiate happiness? 

They have an instant appeal. They are easier to love.

Imagine seeing a grumpy person day in and day out. Would you feel attracted to such a one? Or would a happy and smiling person pull you more? 

“You become what you think about the most.” 

Laws of attraction work. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne speaks of exactly this.

4. Widen your choice with dating apps

When trying to find someone special, it is good to have a choice. You have preferences. Getting those matched on a dating app will help you find a partner that you will vibe with best.

“Will I find love on a dating app?” If this question many might have on their minds. There are a multitude of these that generally address needs as well as niche audiences.

5. Nothing better than loving oneself

Love thyself, says everyone! Do it, and you will see the difference. Self-love will reflect in a way that will have people flocking to you. Instead of wondering how to find true love, you will see love finding you.

In all self-help and self-improvement manuals, this is a common theme. Anyone who doesn’t love oneself cannot expect to find love. Begin today and see the difference it makes.

6. Go out of the online space into the real world

While we speak about searching for love online, many would argue the opposite. That looking for love is about real people. For them, mingling and meeting people in the real world is how to find true love.

It is okay to hold such a view on finding true love. The world spreads out for those looking to move around and meet people. Embrace human contact, and somewhere there, you will find the one meant for you.

Related Reading: 10 Benefits of Online Dating

7. Pick your friends among those who bring good cheer

Your friends rub off on you, your thoughts, and your choices. One among them could very well be the love of your life.

Friends are an important part of anyone’s life. It is only natural to find someone among your friend circle who feels like ‘you are the one for me.’

The bonds are so deep that there is a lot of comfort with a few such friends.

8. Have faith that your true love will come around

It is okay to feel low and begin losing hope after following all steps to find true love without results.

Have you started thinking, “Will I ever find true love”? That is the last thing you should do. Keep the faith and remain optimistic that the best is yet to come.

“The Universe does everything it does with zero effort.” Rely on the power of positivity at all times. If not one step, then the next will indeed work.

Just as Maggie Martinez suggests:

Happiness and hope are feelings that need to be chosen. This will help you find your future partner.

Invest a lot of faith in your search for true love. And you will find the one you are looking for.

9. Be who you are without trying to please

Frequently in your quest for how to find true love, we try to fit into a certain type. This ‘person’ is not who you are. In your search for ‘who is my true love,’ it is best to project yourself precisely as you are.

I have an identity of my own. I look for certain qualities in the one who is my love. This is true for all. Therefore, retaining who you are and attracting the one truly meant for you is better.

10. Stop searching, and true love will come to you

You may get too hung up on finding who is your true love. This is quite a common scenario among people. One would do better at such times to let destiny take over.

Getting too focused on how to find true love may take the narrative away from who you truly are. Having faith in what is destined works better at times.

Instead of wondering where to find love, believe that the one meant for you will come to you.

11. Be in love with love

To attract your true love, you need to believe in the idea of love in the first place. Many people who end up finding their true love are the ones who are in love with the concept of love itself.

Being open to the idea of love helps you put away the hurt or damage that previous partners or relationships may have caused. It makes you less cynical and more hopeful.

Related Reading: What Does It Mean to Be in Love

12. Watch romantic movies

Do you want to feel inspired to find true love? Watch the classic romantic movies that are all about true love. It will have you thinking and questioning what you want, and you will attract your true love soon.

13. Journal

Journaling is a healthy practice. It helps to declutter your mind and express your thoughts. Journaling about relationships that you idealize can help you visualize your true love and make it a reality.

Related Reading: 5 Ways How Writing a Self-Esteem Journal Can Save Your Marriage

14. Make a vision board

Do you have a vision board for your love life? If not, consider making one. What are the activities you want to do with your significant other? Are there any specific destinations you want to go to with them? Put them all on the vision board.

15. Write letters to them

It may seem weird at first, but write letters to who your eventual true love will be. Write down all the things you want to experience with them and how you want to make them feel. When you finally find your person, you can give them these letters.

Here is a beautiful video on finding true love. Do check it out:

True Love: What love is and what it is not 

It cannot be easy to understand what love is and is not. It is especially confusing when you are blinded in love and cannot see certain red flags. 

However, true love is when your partner listens and understands your point of view with an open mind. It is not love when they get defensive or have anger outbursts as a reaction to your concerns.

Clinical social worker Maggie Martinez further explains:

Someone who gets defensive and angry is someone who needs to work on emotional regulation.

It is also true love when your partner is open to new experiences. 

How to know that it’s not true love?

It may not be true love when they are too set in their ways to the extent that they would not budge even if it causes you harm. 

Another characteristic of true love is honesty and integrity. True love never has any deception or fakeness to it.

Conflicts on finding true love

To want to feel loved and wanted is an overpowering human emotion. It is present in all of us. Love is the elixir of life, and looking for the right person is natural. 

There are always cynics and those who have not been successful in love. Or those who question- is love real?

A lot of people tend to give up on love very quickly. That is not how things are meant to be. The Universe brings two people together for a reason. It is never an accident. This holds true love, whatever naysayers say about it all.

Even those who find the right person might have doubts and conflicts. Ever wonder how to know if it’s true love? 

The following checklist should be accurate for both partners to know the depth of love. These points are also true for remaining in love.

• Your heart skips a beat every time you think of this person
• You break into smiles, recalling a conversation
• This person is always available for you
• You see your future with this person
• You experience various emotions related to this person, from extreme happiness to profound sadness
• Both of you make the other person happy and try to meet midway
• There is a lot of giving and taking in your relationship
• You share your feelings and emotions
• The feeling of love liberates you rather than confining and restricting you

Most of the above points would tell you what true love looks like. Read on to know the steps you might follow to lead to the true love of your life.

FAQs

Here are some frequently asked questions about true love.

1. Is it difficult to find true love?

While some would disagree, most people would agree that it is difficult to find true love. Finding unconditional, true love that stands the test of time and can weather all storms can be difficult, but at the end of the day, it might just be worth it.

If you are looking for true love, follow the tips mentioned above, and it might come to you soon.

2. How to create a truly loving relationship?

Creating and maintaining a truly loving relationship requires intent and consideration. Some values that make a relationship truly loving and happy are – honesty, respect, communication, and integrity. 

Both partners in the relationship should work towards a common goal – to love each other truly and stay committed to each other, no matter what.

3. What is the purest form of love?

Unconditional love is the purest form of love. Love is known as unconditional and pure when there are no conditions, no strings, and not even an expectation to be loved back.

Unconditional love is the purest form of love because when we love someone, we truly want them to be happy, even when we are not a part of that happiness. True love does not expect anything in return but wants the best for the person they love.

4. How do you know a man is your true love?

It may not be easy to recognize if someone is your true love. However, if they make you feel happy, loved, respected, heard, and you can count on them no matter what, they may be your true love.

Meanwhile, if you feel unconditional and unwavering love towards them, which is not affected by any external factors, they may be your true love.

The takeaway

It has been rightly said that ‘love is a many-splendored thing.’ Finding your true love  is a beautiful journey.

It can be said that the journey is more beautiful than the destination itself at times. Finding the right person is sometimes instant or successful at the first attempt.

There might be missed chances and false hopes on the way. Let these not deter your journey since they enrich the whole experience. The steps outlined on how to find true love will surely lead you to the one meant for you.

If you think you found your true love, you need to know that it does not mean there won’t be troubles that you have to face. If you are struggling and need help, consider couples therapy.