20 Reasons Why You Should Never Have an Affair With a Married Man

From time immemorial, having an affair with a married man has always been frowned upon by society. It is morally wrong that you can’t date openly or show off your man like you want to.

Indeed, there are some moments when you may consider dating a married man. Why not date a married man? They are more mature and richer than younger and single guys.

Besides, they are more secure and likely to make you feel safe and protected. However, cheating with a married man is an option you need to discard as soon as it pops up in your head.

Related Reading: Extramarital Affairs: What, Why & Signs One Must Know Of

How bad is it to have an affair with a married man?

On a scale of 10, having an affair with a married man or loving a married man is about 9.5. Yes, it is that bad.

One of the disadvantages of dating a married man is that while you may be enjoying your relationship with the man, there is a high chance that another person is hurting badly.

You know, a married man has a partner somewhere who might have seen some signs of infidelity.

You may not see anything wrong in cheating with a married man at first. After all, you are happy with the married man, but if you put yourself in your partner’s wife’s shoes. In essence, dating a married man means costing another human happiness and peace.

Related Reading: Things to Consider if You Are in Love With a Married Man

Why should you not date a married man?

Having an affair with a married man is so bad that it might destroy someone’s home or make you lose focus of your goals, or disrupt your life.

A married person is legally committed to another person. While you are all lovey-dovey, your partner will always think of another person.

Related Reading: Stages of Getting Over an Affair

20 Reasons to not have an affair with a married man

Nonetheless, there is a way out on how to stop dating a married man. The simple solution will be to end the affair.

Before then, however, check the following reasons not to date a married man.

1. They won’t commit to you fully

One reason people don’t date a married man is that the man is not theirs entirely. A married man can care for you and make you feel heaven on earth. They may even promise you a lot of things.

However, there is the fact that they have a wife whom they already pledged for better or worse. As such, he will always be responsible to another person aside from you.

Also Try: Is He Committed to Me Quiz

2. Your relationship has no future

At first, it might look like you both are deeply in love, but the truth is there is no assurance that your relationship will last.

As long as he is married to another person, you will always be a backup plan which many people fall back to after the original plan fails. In other words, a relationship with a married man has a bleak future.

3. There won’t be trust in the relationship

You should never date a married man because he is cheating on his wife with you. If he is that bold enough to betray the trust his wife has for him, what do you think he will do when another beautiful lady comes along?

Think about it. He is probably lying to his wife that he is somewhere else while he is with you. Doing that means he can never be honest with you.

Related Reading: How to Handle a Lack of Trust in a Relationship

4. You are at the receiving end

All relationships have their ups and downs. You should end your affair with a married man because you will always be the one to receive the brunt of the problem during an argument.

Regardless of what some people might have told you about married men, understand that they know they have another option to fall back on. The reality of dating a married man is that you are dependent on them.

Watch this video to know the consequences of cheating:

5. There won’t be respect in the relationship

Respect in a relationship means understanding and acknowledging each other’s feelings, wishes or rights. Loving a married man is tantamount to throwing respect out of the window.

He won’t respect your feelings as much as you want him to. Besides, society and your acquaintances will never regard such a relationship. So, you must end an affair with a married man.

Related Reading: Respect, and Trust in Your Relationship

6. A married man is not reliable

Having a relationship with a married man means you can not always rely on them in times of trouble. Typically, your partner should always be with you in times of crisis.

However, a married man will always be the first to look for the door when you need them the most. 

Why should he? He is not married to you or in a committed relationship.

7. No loyalty in your relationship

One of the reasons not to date a married man is that you will never be part of his family.

The priority of every married man would be his wife and his kids, even if he told you he does not love them. Hence, he will choose them anytime or day over you.

Related Reading: What Is Loyalty in Relationships?

8. You are another option

People usually serve a side dish with the leading food for you to eat after the main food. That will be your fate if you are in a relationship with a married man.

This is what Christiana Njoku a licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach has to say

If you are a “side-chick,” just know that your position is secret and so, whatever happens to you in that secret corner, while you are busy enjoying another woman’s husband, it is because you have chosen that part; to be a side dish and not the main course.

The truth is, you will always be a second option or another woman to another person’s man. In other words, you will never be a married man’s priority.

Related Reading: Signs Your Partner Sees You as an Option & How to Handle It

9. You will give more and receive less

A relationship with a married man means you will be putting your all into the relationship while the married man gives less.

For instance, you may have the whole day for him while he can only offer a few hours because he needs to attend to his family members.

Even when he spends the night with you, he will leave in a hurry to go back home and change his dress. In essence, your availability is dependent on his schedule and not the other way round.

Related Reading: How to Stop Giving Too Much in a Relationship

10. There is always an expiry date attached to the relationship

Even when you intend to enjoy the relationship, loving a married man robs you of your growth, which is vital to a healthy relationship.

You may have the best fun, conversation, friendship, but there won’t be growth which may affect your personal goals and aspirations in life.

11. It is not a healthy relationship

One of the disadvantages of dating a married man is that it robs you of a healthy relationship. A healthy and stable connection is full of trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, open communication, and compromise.

These are phrases you can’t find in an affair with a married man. An unhealthy relationship is likely to inhibit your growth as a person.

Related Reading: What Is the Definition of a Healthy Relationship?

12. You can’t call anytime you want

Unlike a typical relationship, an affair with a married man gives you limited freedom. There are moments you feel like talking to your partner about an incident.

The reality of dating a married man means thinking twice or checking the time before you ring up your partner. That can be frustrating as you can’t hear the voice of the person you love.

Related Reading: Freedom in Relationships: The Irony of Having to Work for It

13. You may not celebrate festive moments with him

An affair with a married man means you don’t get to share great occasions with them.

There is a reason event centers are usually full of family members laughing and smiling over meals on festive days. It is because people expect that you spend those days with your loved ones.

However, you won’t be getting that if you are cheating with a married man because he will be with his family members even if he wanted to be with you.

14. It will affect your mental health

If you are cheating with a married man, it means you sign up for a myriad of sleepless nights.

While he is probably snoring beside his wife, you will be thinking of him and your plans with him, which may never happen. The best is never to date a married man.

Related Reading: Ways Unhealthy Relationships and Mental Health Are Related

15. You will be worried that someone might see you

According to Christiana Njoku,

Dating a married man is a secret affair and so, every opportunity he has to be out with you in public, he would be so conscious of not being spotted with you by friends, close family members, colleagues, very important people in his lives, and most especially, his significant other.

Aside from worrying about his wife finding out, you will constantly be on the lookout for a close relative passing by and sizing up every person that you see in restaurants where you meet.

You are never sure if someone is peeping at you or just admiring your dress. So, instead of enjoying the evening with someone you claim you love, you are scared someone might find out, robbing you of enjoying your life.

16. There is no guarantee that he will be with you.

Even if he leaves his wife and family for you, there is no assurance that he will marry you. And if he marries you, there is no assurance that he will not cheat on you.

The reality of dating a married man stands that you will always have a second thought at him, the relationship, and yourself. 

17. He may be lying to you

Always remember that an affair with a married man has its foundation on a lie. Besides, whatever he tells you is one-sided.

After all, his wife is not there to defend herself. It is best to take the words of a married man like a pinch of salt.

Also Try: Is My Boyfriend Lying to Me Quiz

18. You will miss out on good opportunities

Opting for a relationship with a married man means letting go of other suitable options like younger guys. Primer age signifies having a lot of choices as men usually flock around you.

It is your chance to decide carefully without being restricted to an option. However, an affair with a married man means you will spend your younger age chasing a dancing mirage.

19. Society will stigmatize you

No matter how civilization may cover people’s faces, an affair with a married man will always be a cancer in every society.

Although many communities claim to be tolerant and open to all choices, we all know they are close-minded. The best option is to end the affair with him.

20. The ending is awful

Another reason why you should not date a married man is that the ending is usually awful. Even though the ends of all relationships are never a case of a happy ending, an affair with a married man is the worst.

Mainly, you feel the pain because of the time wasted and because your gut had probably warned you it might not last. More importantly, he is choosing another person over you.

Related Reading: How To Stop Having An Affair

Conclusion

Sometimes, circumstances in life may offer you a married man as the only viable option, but you should never date a married man.

An affair with a married man is unhealthy and may affect your life and overall well-being. 

Besides, the disadvantages of dating a married man outweigh its benefits, and you will always be the affected one. Therefore, you need to end your affair.