If you still believe that it’s mostly men who cheat, you are right to some extent, but the reality is that nowadays infidelity among women is pretty rampant too.
In fact, research has shown that approximately 14% of married women cheat on their husbands while the corresponding statistic for men is around 22%. This answers, how often do women cheat.
Although both men and women are known to cheat, often their reasons for doing so are very different. Lets’s delve into a key reason for female infidelity as well as male infidelity.
For men, it is usually much more focused on physical pleasure, whereas for women there is a focus on emotional intimacy.
This begs the question, what makes women cheat on their partners?
This article will discuss some of the revealing reasons women give for cheating. Read along to know the real reasons why married women cheat.
Here’s why women have affairs
1. I was lonely and bored
For a woman, being lonely while married seems like the ultimate disillusionment.
Don’t you get married so that you will always have a personal best friend at all times, and so that you never need to be lonely again?
Sadly it does not always work out that way, and so this is probably one of the biggest reasons why women seek comfort elsewhere.
When there is a lack of attention and intimacy in a marriage relationship it is a recipe for infidelity.
A woman who is not having her relationship needs to be met in terms of intimacy, physical touch, mental and emotional attention, is very vulnerable.
If some caring man comes along and starts giving her the compassion, attention, and compliments she craves, she can very easily slip into an emotional affair that could well become a physical given time.
2. All he does is work
Sometimes husbands can think that as long as they work hard and bring in the money to support a comfortable lifestyle, their wives should and will be happy with that. After all, what more can a woman want?
Actually, a lot more!
If a man comes home late every day and is too tired to have any meaningful conversation with his wife, he will probably soon find out that she has become frustrated, disengaged and distant.
When the husband is a workaholic, he may just be using his work to avoid engaging emotionally with his wife and family.
And after all, as stated above, emotional engagement is what it is all about for a woman. So again, in a situation where the husband works all the time, the wife becomes a prime target for an affair.
3. It made me feel confident and wanted
It is well known that a lot of women suffer from low self-esteem and a general lack of confidence.
There can be many reasons for this and they are usually rooted in childhood somehow.
It can affect anyone, even the most attractive, appealing and competent women sometimes feel unattractive and incompetent.
These negative feelings can be fuelled by a spouse who is either insensitive and demanding or even abusive and derogatory.
Then imagine if a handsome work colleague notices (and makes it know that he notices) the positive qualities in such a woman.
The rush of confidence and the feeling of being desirable can be intoxicating, like the whiff of a home-cooked meal to a starving person.
Many women have affairs because it makes them feel better like they are still attractive and wanted by someone, and it boosts their confidence.
4. He cheated first
So now we come to the ugly little word called ‘revenge’ which is one of the top reasons women cheat on their husbands.
The husband cheated and she found out.
The pain was excruciating, the betrayal, the hours and hours of replaying every little clue that she missed, and the shame and reproach she felt, that somehow she just wasn’t good enough anymore.
But he was repentant and they decided to patch it up and carry on.
She thought she had put it behind her, but it always seemed to be lurking at the back of her mind and then she met this gorgeous man and they just seemed to ‘click’ from day one, he understood her like hubby never had.
One thing led to another, and all the while she told herself, “Well, he cheated first – if he can do it, so can I.”
5. I needed a way to escape my unhappy marriage
Some women think that if they have an affair it will function as a kind of ‘exit strategy’ from an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage.
Their marriage ship is sinking, so before they find themselves plunged into the icy cold water of singleness, they jump ship and cheat with another man.
This may indeed accomplish the goal of ending their marriage but is likely to make the affair partner feel used.
An affair could also be a cry for help, to try and show an unresponsive husband how deeply in trouble the marriage really is, in the hopes that he may be willing to change and get help.
There is a wise saying that goes something like this, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
This is particularly true when it comes to having a successful marriage.
Unless you plan to make the most of your relationship with your spouse, giving it all you’ve got and constantly seeking ways that you can strengthen your bond, over time you are likely to drift apart.
Think of it as a garden: on your wedding day your garden was exquisite and immaculate, with flower beds in full bloom, lawns neatly trimmed and fruit trees laden with fruit.
But as the times and seasons passed, you neglected the garden, left the grass unmown, didn’t bother to weed or water the flowers, let the ripe fruit drop to the ground.
Maybe you thought the rain and wind would do the job for you? No, just like everything else worthwhile in life, marriage is hard work.
It is wonderful and rewarding work, but it still works, and both of you need to be fully committed.
If not, an affair may ‘just happen’ and you could find yourself saying, “I really didn’t plan it.”
How to tell if a woman is cheating
When you have found solace in the arms of the woman of your dreams, the last thing you want to do is look for reasons why women cheat or signs of a woman seeking affairs.
However, alongside taking an overview of the reasons shared in this article that corroborates, “why do women cheat”, it is crucial to familiarize yourself with the signs your wife is cheating on you and watch out for any of these red flags in your relationship.
Finding out that your partner is cheating on you is painful, but you would rather know the truth than to live in oblivion. Right?
We don’t encourage you to go nuclear on your partner, suspecting them to be cheating on you without any grounds for the accusation. However, if you sense something is off and the relationship may be running to the ground, taking stock of signs of cheating can be helpful.
Obvious signs your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you
If she has checked out of the relationship, she will fight more often
She is discreet about her phone password and usage in front of you
She keeps talking about being in an unhappy relationship
She is suddenly more concerned about her appearance and grooming
She projects her cheating guilt onto you
She spends more time away from you
She avoids hanging out with you
Her social media profile does not reflect your couple images
She doesn’t include you on her trips, anywhere
Your relationship has fizzled into a friendship
Don’t learn the hard way, why do women cheat
For those men reading the article and feeling curious to know more about the dynamics of female cheating, or why do women have affairs when it seems to be a perfectly happy marriage, a good place to start would be to understand women better.
To gain more insight into reasons that help explain the difficulty women have with marriage and long-term fidelity, it is recommended for men to read Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say “I’m Not Happy.
The book dives deep into the realms of female infidelity psychology and answers the pertinent questions like, why do women cheat, what goes on in the mind of a woman cheating on husband, and why women cheat on good men who are the providers of financial stability and social validation to them.
The question, why do women cheat will evoke a variety of responses.
When an affair wrecks a relationship, leaving it in the rocky shoals the damage to repair is massive.
But, for a relationship to thrive and not die, it is crucial to understand what drives a woman to latch onto another man.
Don’t wait to learn the hard way, why do women cheat.
Be the partner in the relationship who can take the corrective steps to change the narrative of the story just by being mindful of why do women cheat and what can be done to prevent infidelity in marriage.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.