What to Do After a Breakup: 21 Ways to Move On

It’s okay… breakups hurt in ways you didn’t expect. One moment you’re fine, and the next, a song, a street, or even a scent brings it all rushing back. The quiet can feel too loud; the days, strangely longer. 

You might find yourself replaying moments, wondering what could have been different, or feeling unsure about what comes next. This chapter may feel heavy now, but slowly—sometimes without you even noticing—the weight begins to shift. 

Hearts have a way of mending in their own time, and figuring out what to do after a breakup becomes less about pain… and more about peace.

How does a breakup impact a person

A breakup can deeply affect both emotional and physical well-being, often triggering feelings of sadness, rejection, anxiety, and even physical symptoms like changes in sleep, appetite, and energy.

It disrupts a person’s sense of security and identity, leaving them to navigate unfamiliar emotional territory while adjusting to life without a partner.

Please note:

The pain may feel endless, but healing will come. With time, kindness to yourself, and small daily actions, balance returns. Whether learning what to do after a breakup or how to get over a breakup, remember—this is only one chapter, not the whole story of your life.

How to get over a breakup: 21 ways

Breakups can leave you feeling like the ground has shifted beneath your feet, making even simple days feel heavy. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen—step by step, choice by choice. Here are some gentle, practical ways to help you move forward with clarity, strength, and self-compassion.

1. Give yourself time

Wondering what to do after a breakup? First, go easy on yourself and give yourself time to process your emotions calmly. Expecting too much from yourself too soon can change the path of your recovery post-breakup. This is believed to be the best way to get over a breakup.

• Why it matters: It takes time to stop hurting after a breakup, and downtime to recover helps one reorganize their thoughts. Rushing through the feelings after a breakup can often lead to unresolved feelings that affect people for a long time.
• Do: Allow yourself unhurried moments to rest, reflect, and feel your emotions without judgment.
• Don’t: Force yourself to “get over it” quickly or pretend you’re fine before you truly are

2. Delete the contact

You might say that deleting the contact won’t work because you know your ex’s phone number by heart, but it does help. 

• Why it matters: It’s one step towards your recovery. You can also remove anything that will remind you of their presence in your life. It’s not being bitter; it’s moving on.
• Do: During a breakup, you feel the urge to talk or at least have closure on the scenario. Instead, call your best friend, sister, or brother – anyone you know who would help you or just divert your attention. 
• Don’t: When you’re tempted to call them one last time – just don’t. Just don’t contact your ex purposelessly.

3. Embrace your emotions

What to do after a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend? First, let out your emotions in an acceptable way. Cry, scream, or get a punching bag and hit it when angry. 

• Why it matters: You are hurting, and letting it all out will help you. Moreover, it is a common mistake to hide the pain and make it worse.
• Do: Let yourself feel the pain for a while. You can listen to sad music, watch romantic films, or write all your feelings on a piece of paper. Just let the reality sink in. 
• Don’t: Bottle up your emotions or pretend you’re unaffected—it can make the healing process longer and harder.

4. Stop overthinking

Acceptance of reality occurs once you stop overthinking and overanalyzing the situation. 

• Why it matters: Obsessing over the reasons behind the breakup will plague your decision-making capacity. Thinking about it will not reverse it; just know that.
• Do: Accept the fact that it is over now, and instead of making plans to win your ex back, plan how to move on with your life constructively. 
• Don’t: Dwell endlessly on “what if” scenarios or replay conversations in your head, hoping for a different outcome.

5. Social media purge

Still stalking your ex on social media? Try to stop yourself right away. Consider logging out of all your social media accounts for a few days, as it will give you a chance to purge yourself from their influence.

• Why it matters: Social media has a way of keeping you informed about people around you and this can leave little scope for diverting your attention from the ex. You have access to their activities even after separation, which can impact your mood and emotions daily.
• Do: Take a break from social media, unfollow or mute your ex, and focus your online time on positive, uplifting content.
• Don’t: Check their profiles, posts, or stories out of curiosity—it can reopen emotional wounds and slow your healing.

6. Plans with friends

Life after a breakup can seem worthless and lonely. Trying to figure out how to deal with a breakup can be stressful. But friends can offer a chance to divert yourself from that feeling and rediscover yourself in a new way. 

• Why it matters:. You can vent out your emotions in front of your friends and also have a good time in the process. They remind you that you can have a wonderful time without your ex.
• Do:  Make plans to have a fun time with your best friends. Meeting good old pals can give you a chance to recharge and refresh your mind.
•  Don’t: Isolate yourself or decline invitations out of sadness—you might miss out on moments that could lift your spirits

7. Try exercising

Even if you don’t feel like getting out of bed, try to get your body moving. There are a lot of mental and physical benefits of exercising, nonetheless

• Why it matters: Exercising keeps you mentally and physically engaged, which helps drive away unnecessary thoughts about the breakup from your mind.
• Do: To gently re-energize yourself, try some simple exercises that might help elevate your mood, such as walking, stretching, or yoga.
• Don’t: Stay inactive for long periods, as it can worsen low mood and make it harder to focus on healing.

8. Self-care

Have you lost the motivation to do little things for yourself post the breakup? Things to do after a breakup must include some self-care activities.

• Why it matters: Find activities that help you relax and rejuvenate after a tough time.  A recharged brain will help you feel cherished and cared for and not as vulnerable after a breakup.
• Do: You can try meditation, going to the spa, or spending time with your pet.

9. Count your blessings

What to do after a breakup? Say thank you! A separation from your partner might make life seem meaningless and empty. 

• Why it matters: Reminding yourself of all the good things that are a part of your life will help you get out of a negative headspace. By recognizing all the good things, people, and experiences in your life, you can learn to be happy again.
• Do: Make a list of all the things you are grateful for, and look at it every day.
• Don’t: Focus only on what you’ve lost or dwell on the absence of your ex—it can block you from seeing the positives in your life.

10. Interiors revamp

A new look, for a new outlook. Interiors impact the psychological well-being of the occupants in various ways. Every space holds memories of the past, and changing it can give you a fresh perspective.

• Why it matters: Your room and home might hold memories of your time with your ex. By changing the look of these spaces, you can positively remove the traces of your past from your present surroundings.
• Do: Change the curtains, add an indoor plant, use a throw, add some cushions or change your furniture’s positioning. With a few tiny steps, you can add a fresh vibe to your personal space.  
• Don’t: Keep your space exactly the same if it constantly triggers memories of your ex—it can make moving on more difficult.

11. Get traveling

As soon as it gets feasible, take a break and travel to a new place. You can travel alone or go on a trip with friends and family. 

• Why it matters: Going to a new location can also help you avoid thinking about the sadness and anger associated with your breakup. And who knows, you could even forget your pain entirely while you are there. 
• Do:  Plan an exotic vacation or go to a quick backpackers’ spot; whatever suits your taste. Either way, travel will help you get a chance to enjoy your time and gain a break from the ongoing issues. 
• Don’t: Choose destinations that are strongly tied to memories with your ex—it may stir up emotions instead of helping you heal.

12. Retail therapy

The breakup might be weighing your spirits down, and shopping might not be on your priority list at all. Shopping can be a really good stress buster, especially when it can give you a fun break during a tough time.

• Why it matters: Shopping can lift your mood by giving you something positive to focus on. Treating yourself reinforces self-worth and adds moments of joy during a challenging period.

• Do: Indulge a little and buy things that cheer you up. Get yourself a new piece of clothing, a watch, a new piece of technology, or anything that will make you smile ear to ear.
• Don’t: Overspend or rely on shopping as your only coping mechanism—it can create financial stress and avoid addressing your emotions.

13. Take up a new hobby

What to do after a breakup? Develop a new and exciting hobby. Take risks and go for an activity that has always excited you. 

• Why it matters: A new hobby can give you a chance to rediscover yourself and your limits, or it can simply be a nice engagement.
• Do: Go scuba diving, try pottery, join a dance class, learn a new language, or do anything else that captivates you. Bring back the energy into your life, and maybe make some new friends while you are at it. 
• Don’t: Choose hobbies that remind you of your ex or activities you only enjoyed together—it can pull you back into old memories.

14. Connect with family

Now that you are single, why not make the best of this moment and spend some more quality time with your parents and other family members? We often miss out on family time due to work, stress, and other engagements.

• Why it matters: Family time can ground you and remind you of what is truly important in life. It can help heal your wounds and make you strong after a breakup. Family can be a great support system during tough times.
• Do: Plan a family dinner, visit relatives you haven’t seen in a while, or simply spend quiet moments together at home.
• Don’t: Withdraw from your family or avoid their support out of pride or the urge to handle everything alone.

15. Get busy

Avoiding your emotions is not advisable when learning how to overcome a breakup. However, it is also important not to overindulge in your feelings.

• Why it matters: Find ways to keep yourself busy in productive ways so that you don’t end up obsessing over the breakup for a long time. 
• Do: Try to identify and achieve more goals at work or in studies. Take up daily household chores or maybe a new task around the house to complete.
• Don’t: Fill your schedule so much that you burn out or avoid processing your emotions altogether.

16. Journal

Get writing! If you are trying to figure out what to do when you break up, consider keeping a journal where you can write down how you are feeling on a daily basis. You can also journal whenever you start feeling overwhelmed.

• Why it matters: Journaling your feelings is an excellent way of processing them. It can give you a chance to reveal your innermost thoughts without the fear of being judged.
• Do: Write freely without worrying about grammar or structure—focus on expressing yourself honestly. Use your journal to track your healing progress over time.
• Don’t: Use your journal only to dwell on negative memories—balance it by noting small wins, positive moments, or things you’re grateful for.

17. Say bye to mementos

Relationships entail mementos and gifts being given to each other. But after a breakup, these things are painful reminders of your ex and the love you shared.

• • Why it matters: So, if you are wondering what to do after a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can put aside your previous partner’s belongings and gifts given by them.
  • Do: You can put them away in a box so that they are out of your sight for the time being.

• Don’t: Keep these reminders in plain sight where they can trigger fresh emotional pain or make it harder to move on.

18. Respect

What not to do after a breakup? Don’t beg for your ex to reconsider or ask them to try again. Respect yourself and your partner’s decision. 

• Why it matters: No matter how enticing the idea of reconciliation is, you need to respect your space even when you’re yet to have closure. anymore.
• Do: Focus on your own healing and maintaining your self-respect, even if closure hasn’t come yet.
• Don’t: Keep calling, texting, or showing up uninvited in hopes of changing their mind—it can harm both your dignity and peace of mind. Don’t pressure someone who doesn’t want to be with you 

19. Night routine

Wondering what to do after a breakup, especially if you’re going through sleepless nights? Set a routine. The stress and anxiety associated with a breakup can disturb the sleep cycle of most people. 

• Why it matters: Quality sleep is essential for emotional healing and mental clarity. A consistent routine helps calm your mind and signals to your body it’s time to rest, making it easier to avoid late-night overthinking.
• Do: Try to maintain a soothing routine at night and follow it strictly. It might be challenging to stick to it initially, but eventually, your body will respect the pattern, and you will be able to get sound sleep every night.
• Don’t: Stay up scrolling on your phone or replaying painful memories—it can make it harder to fall asleep and prolong emotional distress.

20. Seek help

What to do after a breakup should depend on what state of mind you are in. You may not be in a state to rush for immediate relief or throw yourself into a recovery regime. It is okay to go for couples therapy if it feels necessary.

• Why it matters: If you are coming out of an abusive or uncomfortable relationship, professional help might help you process your emotions better. Expert advice will guide you through the pain and trauma that you might be experiencing. 
• Do: Seek therapy or counseling if you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure how to move forward. Be open and honest with your therapist to get the most benefit.
• Don’t: Ignore your emotional struggles or try to handle severe trauma entirely on your own without professional guidance.

Watch this TED Talk by Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a psychology professor, who shares that ending relationships that don’t help you grow can be a powerful opportunity for positive personal development.

21. Practice mindfulness

After a breakup, it’s easy to get stuck in the past or worry about the future. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment, easing emotional turbulence and giving your mind a break from overthinking.

• Why it matters: Staying present reduces anxiety and rumination about the relationship. Mindfulness builds emotional resilience and promotes a calmer state of mind during recovery.
• Do: Try short daily meditation sessions, mindful breathing, or simply noticing your surroundings without judgment. Use mindfulness apps or guided meditations to help you stay consistent.
• Don’t: Force yourself to “clear your mind” completely—mindfulness is about observing your thoughts, not eliminating them.

5 things one should not do after a breakup

Getting to know what to do after a breakup is convenient, but doing it is the real challenge. As long as you are surrounded by loved ones and people who care for you, you have little to worry about. 

We talked about things to do post a breakup, but there are few things that you should specifically avoid too. People often get impulsive and indulge in things that slow down their recovery process and decrease the scope of healing.

1. Casual, breakup hookups

Physical intimacy gives a sense of pleasure, and it can be tempting to sleep around after being freshly out of a relationship. Casual hookups can comfort you for a while, but they are not helpful in the long run.

Breakup sex can divert you from all the hurt, and you might feel that this is the ultimate remedy to your problems. However, it is not healthy to use someone else as a mere stress buster and ignore the feelings involved. 

• Instead: Focus on emotional healing and self-care activities that nurture you without creating new emotional complications.

2. ‘Take me back’

You and your ex broke up because of a legitimate reason; something which wasn’t working for either or both of you. But it is easy to ignore that fact when you are missing them desperately post the breakup.

You might find things to say after a break up to your ex, which might give you a chance to connect with them but that can hamper your healing process adversely by keeping you wrapped up in your feelings.

• Instead: Channel your energy into rebuilding your own life and creating new routines that don’t revolve around your ex.

3. Going for a rebound

Moving on from your ex is important, but it should happen in a timely and organic manner. If you try to escape from the pain of your breakup by rushing into another relationship, it will not be healthy for either of you.

Rebound relationships may lack an emotional connection. You might be left feeling even sour in a desperate attempt to move past the pain of your past relationship.

• Instead: Focus on self-growth and emotional healing before entering a new relationship, so your next connection is built on stability and genuine readiness.

4. Comparing yourself

Comparison is one of the things you should definitely not to do after a breakup. No two people are the same, and no two breakups can be the same either.

Comparing yourself to other people, their relationships, and their ability to move on will further stress you out. It has the potential to make you act in ways that might be harmful to your mental health.

Also, try not to compare yourself to the way your ex has adapted to deal with the separation. It will keep you occupied with feelings towards your ex, making you feel jealous and insecure. 

• Instead: Focus on your personal progress and small daily wins, measuring growth only against your own past self, not others.

5. Unhealthy indulgence

Cheers? Maybe not

When one is going through a tough time, too much consumption of alcohol or smoking can act as a distraction. Consuming these things in excessive quantities can be harmful to your health and lead to long-term issues such as developing an.

• Instead: Opt for healthier coping mechanisms like exercise, mindfulness practices, or creative activities that boost your mood without harming your health.

Frequently asked questions

Breakups can leave you with more questions than answers. Here are some quick responses to common concerns that might help you navigate this difficult time.

• How long does it take to get over a breakup?

It varies for everyone—some heal in months, others take longer. Patience and self-care speed up the process.

• Should I stay friends with my ex right after a breakup?

It’s best to take space first. Reconnect only when you’re emotionally ready and the relationship can be healthy.

• Is it okay to start dating soon after a breakup?

Only if you genuinely feel ready. Avoid rushing into a relationship as a distraction from your healing.

Gentle note

Moving on after a breakup isn’t about forgetting—it’s about gently teaching yourself to live, feel, and hope again. Some days will be easier, others might pull you back into old emotions, and that’s okay. Healing isn’t linear; every small step you take counts. 

Whether it’s finding comfort in friends, exploring new hobbies, or simply allowing yourself to rest, remember—you’re building a stronger, wiser version of yourself. In time, the hurt will soften, and you’ll be ready to embrace life with an open heart once more.

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