A lot of people who go through a heartbreak ponder ‘What to do after a breakup?’. What happens when you wake up from a dream and realize that the person you love is not “the one” anymore and you’re left with a broken heart?
It’s natural to hurt post breakup but many of us are left clueless about how to recover from it. It’s natural that you might need some time to heal positively. This process might get a bit easier with some behavioral changes and assessment.
Read on to learn more about what you can do after a breakup.
How does a breakup impact a person
An intense breakup or first breakup can leave a person feeling discouraged and hopeless. Even if the separation was a mutually decided step, it is instinctive to experience heightened emotions and to overthink. The sadness can even take the form of depression or anger.
Moving on from breakup is not everyone’s cup of tea. Ending a serious relationship can affect a person’s daily schedule and routine. It can get hard to focus on other important aspects of life like studies or career. Breakups can be emotionally draining and can also change people’s personalities over time.
20 things to do after a breakup
Relationships can end on a bad note and it can be taxing for a person to process this reality and move on as usual. It can be hard to get back the sense of relief or happiness for a long time.
While it’s okay to give yourself time to analyze the facts, you may want to speed up the process in a more productive way.
Things do get better but don’t expect it to change in an instant. Need tips on what to do when dealing with a breakup? How do you move on and where do you start? Here are a few tips that can help you learn how to feel better after a heartbreak:
1. Give time
Wondering what to do after a breakup? First, go easy on yourself and give yourself time to process your emotions calmly. Expecting too much from yourself too soon can change the path of your recovery post breakup. This is believed to be the best way to get over a breakup.
It takes time to stop hurting after a breakup and downtime to recover helps one reorganize their thoughts and deal with them more appropriately. Rushing through the feelings after a breakup can often lead to unresolved feelings that affect people for a long time.
You might say that deleting the contact won’t work because you know your ex’s phone number by heart, but it does help. It’s one step towards your recovery. You can also remove anything that will remind you of their presence in your life. It’s not being bitter; it’s moving on.
While getting through a breakup, you feel the urge to talk or at least have closure on the scenario. When you’re tempted to call them one last time – just don’t.
Instead, call your best friend, sister, or brother – anyone you know would help you or just divert your attention. Just don’t contact your ex purposelessly.
3. Embrace your emotions
What to do after a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend? First, let out your emotions in an acceptable way. Cry, scream or get a punching bag and hit it when angry.
You are hurting, and letting it all out will help you. Moreover, it is a common mistake to hide the pain and make it worse.
Ways to get over a breakup or heartbreak include emotional episodes. Let yourself feel the pain for a while. You can listen to sad music, watch romantic films or write all your feelings on a piece of paper. Just let the reality sink in.
4. Stop overthinking
Acceptance of reality occurs once you stop overthinking and overanalyzing the situation. Obsessing over the reasons behind the breakup will plague your decision-making capacity. Thinking about it will not reverse it; just know that.
Accept the fact that it is over now and instead of making plans to win your ex back, plan how to move on with your life constructively.
5. Social media purge
Still stalking your ex on social media? Try to stop yourself right away. Consider logging out of all your social media accounts for a few days, as it will give you a chance to purge yourself from its influence.
Social media has a way of keeping you informed about people around you and this can leave little scope for diverting your attention from the ex. You have access to their activities even after separation, which can impact your mood and emotions daily.
6. Plans with friends
Trying to figure out how to handle a breakup can be stressful. But one of the best breakup advice is to make plans to spend fun time with your best friends.
Meeting good old pals can give you a chance to recharge and refresh your mind. You can vent out your emotions in front of your friends and also have a good time in the process.
Life after breakup can seem worthless and lonely. But friends can offer a chance to divert yourself from that feeling and rediscover yourself in a new way. They remind you that you can have a wonderful time without your ex.
You can try to do some simple exercises that might help elevate your mood. Also, exercising keeps you mentally and physically engaged, which helps drive away unnecessary thoughts about the breakup from your mind.
8. Self care
Have you lost the motivation to do little things for yourself post the breakup? Things to do after a breakup must include someself-care activities.
Find activities that help you relax and rejuvenate after a tough time. You can try meditation, going to the spa, or spending time with your pet. A recharged brain will help you feel cherished and cared for and not as vulnerable after a breakup.
9. Count your blessings
What to do after a breakup? Say thank you!
Make a list of all the things you are grateful for, and look at it every day. Reminding yourself of all the good things that are a part of your life will help you get out of a negative headspace.
A separation from your partner might make life seem meaningless and empty. By recognizing all the good things, people, and experiences in your life, you can learn to be happy again.
10. Interiors revamp
A new look, for a new outlook.
Interiors impact the psychological well-being of the occupants in various ways. Every space holds memories of the past, and changing it can give you a fresh perspective.
Your room and home might hold memories of your time with your ex. By changing the look of these spaces, you can positively remove the traces of your past from your present surroundings.
Change the curtains, add an indoor plant, use a throw, add some cushions or change your furniture’s positioning. With a few tiny steps, you can add a fresh vibe to your personal space.
11. Get traveling
As soon as it gets feasible, take a break and travel to a new place. Plan an exotic vacation or go to a quick backpackers’ spot; whatever suits your taste.
You can travel alone or go on a trip with friends and family. Either way, travel will help you get a chance to enjoy your time and gain a break from the ongoing issues.
Going to a new location can also help you avoid thinking about the sadness and anger associated with your breakup. And who knows, you could even forget your pain entirely while you are there.
12. Retail therapy
Indulge a little and buy things that cheer you up. Get yourself a new piece of clothing, a watch, a new piece of technology, or anything that will make you smile ear to ear.
The breakup might be weighing your spirits down and shopping might not be on your priority list at all. Shopping can be a really good stress buster, especially when it can give you a fun break during a tough time.
13. Take up a new hobby
What to do after a breakup? Develop a new and exciting hobby.
Take risks and go for an activity that has always excited you. A new hobby can give you a chance to rediscover yourself and your limits, or it can simply be a nice engagement.
Go scuba diving, try pottery, join a dance class, learn a new language, or do anything else that captivates you. Bring back the energy into your life, and maybe make some new friends while you are at it.
14. Connect with family
Now that you are single, why not make the best of this moment and spend some more quality time with your parents and other family members. We often miss out on family time due to work, stress and other engagements.
Family time can ground you and remind you of what is truly important in life. It can help heal your wounds and make you strong after a breakup. Family can be a great support system during tough times.
Avoiding your emotions is not advisable when learning how to overcome a breakup. However, it is also important not to overindulge in your feelings.
Find ways to keep yourself busy in productive ways so that you don’t end up obsessing over the breakup for a long time. Try to identify and achieve more goals at work or studies. Take up daily household chores or maybe a new task around the house to complete.
Get writing! Journal your feelings as it is an excellent way of processing your feelings. It can give you a chance to reveal your innermost thoughts without the fear of being judged.
If you are trying to figure out what to do when you break up, consider keeping a journal where you can write down how you are feeling on a daily basis. You can also journal whenever you start feeling overwhelmed.
Relationships entail mementos and gifts being given to each other. But after a breakup, these things are painful reminders of your ex and the love you shared.
So, if you are wondering what to do after a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can put aside your previous partner’s belongings and gifts given by them. You can put them away in a box so that they are out of your sight for the time being.
No matter how enticing the idea of reconciliation is, you need to respect your space even when you’re yet to have a closure. Don’t pressurize someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Watch this video to learn more about importance of self respect in a relationship:
19. Night routine
Wondering what to do after a breakup, especially if you’re going through sleepless nights? Set a routine.
The stress and anxiety associated with a breakup can disturb the sleep cycle of most people. In the silence of the night, thoughts of your lost relationship might come back to haunt you.
Try to maintain a soothing routine at night and follow it strictly. It might be challenging to stick to it initially, but eventually, your body will respect the pattern, and you will be able to get sound sleep every night.
20. Seek help
What to do after a breakup should depend on what state of mind you are in. You may not be in a state to rush for immediate relief or throw yourself into a recovery regime. It is okay to go for couples therapy if it feels necessary.
If you are coming out of an abusive or uncomfortable relationship, professional help might help you process your emotions better. Expert advice will guide you through the pain and trauma that you might be experiencing.
What not to do after a breakup
Getting to know what to do after a breakup is convenient, but doing it is the real challenge. As long as you are surrounded by loved ones and people who care for you, you have little to worry. You’ll have ample opportunities to move on and start a new life.
We talked about things to do post a breakup, but there are few things that you should specifically avoid too. People often get impulsive and indulge in things that slow down their recovery process and decrease the scope of healing.
1. Casual, breakup hookups
Physical intimacy gives a sense of pleasure and it can be tempting to sleep around after being freshly out of a relationship. Casual hookups can comfort you for a while but are not helpful in the long run.
Breakup sex can divert you from all the hurt and you might feel that this is the ultimate remedy to your problems. However, it is not healthy to use someone else as a mere stress buster and ignore the feelings involved.
2. ‘Take me back’
You and your ex broke up because of a legitimate reason; something which wasn’t working for either or both of you. But it is easy to ignore that fact when you are missing them desperately post the breakup.
You might find things to say after a break up to your ex, which might give you a chance to connect with them again. But, a temporary reconciliation with your ex can hamper your healing process adversely by keeping you wrapped up in your feelings.
3. Going for rebound
Moving on from your ex is important, but it should happen in a timely and organic manner. If you try to escape from the pain of your breakup by rushing into another relationship, it will not be healthy for either of you.
Rebound relationships may lack an emotional connection. You might be left feeling even sour in a desperate attempt to move past the pain of your past relationship.
4. Comparing yourself
Comparison is one of the things you should definitely not to do after a breakup. No two people are the same, and no two breakups can be the same either.
Comparing yourself to other people, their relationships, and their ability to move on will further stress you out. It has the potential to make you act in ways that might be harmful for your mental health.
Also, try not to compare yourself to the way your ex has adopted to deal with the separation. It will keep you occupied with the feelings towards your ex, making you feel jealous and insecure.
5. Unhealthy indulgence
Cheers? Maybe not
When one is going through a tough time, too much consumption of alcohol or smoking can act as a distraction. Consuming these things in excessive quantities can be harmful to your health and lead to long-term issues such as developing an.
People going through a breakup can have multiple questions encircling their thoughts. When your emotions are heightened, you may not be able to get acceptable answers to these questions. In such a situation, you may be left confused and frustrated.
Instead of wondering, you should attempt to look for trusted sources to find relatable answers. Let’s look at some of these questions and try to answer them in an inclusive manner.
Where do I start after a breakup?
Beginning is usually the most difficult part of healing after a breakup. Once you have kick-started the whole exercise of recovery, it will be relatively more convenient to continue. Preparing a mindset is the most crucial step while heading for a post-breakup routine.
Start talking about it. If not to people around it, talk to yourself. Once you get up in the morning, Indulge in a quick pep talk with yourself. Think how you need to prepare for starting afresh. Make up your mind to get a hold of your emotions.
How do I stop hurting after a break up?
It is believed that the feeling of pain after a breakup can lead to the release of a stress-inducing hormone called cortisol. It is obvious that a nasty breakup can leave you feeling extremely dejected and hurting.
The feeling of loss may not go away in a jiffy. At times, it takes a really long gap of time to fill the void created by a breakup. One needs to accept this fact while allowing themself the chance to heal and proceed with life.
Mending a broken heart is not easy. Sometimes it becomes unbearable, especially when memories revisit you or if you see your previous partner moving ahead at a decent pace. It’s just normal to feel anger, pain, and resentment.
We have our own mechanisms to cope up with loss and sufferings. Normalize the fact that you may require some extra time and efforts to break the chain of pain you’re experiencing at the moment. Love yourself the way you loved your ex and start building your life ahead.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.