Maturity doesn’t automatically come with age but experience and hardships and self-reflection, among other things. Maturity is the state of being emotionally intelligent and comes with a certain amount of letting go of the ego.
A mature person doesn’t get overwhelmed by emotions because the world no longer revolves around them. Over time, they have learned to let go of self-interest to see the multiple viewpoints around them better. As such, they can more wisely maneuver through the gray of this world without attaching themselves to outcomes.
Emotional maturity is having an appropriate level of emotional control and expression, as defined by the APA.
In other words, emotionally mature people are in touch with their thoughts, emotions, and feelings such that those experiences no longer drive impulsive behavior.
It can be frustrating dating an immensely immature man as his actions may not reflect his age. However, this doesn’t entail signs he’s immature if he sits on the couch all day playing video games or eating junk for dinner.
So, what is an emotionally immature man, and what are the signs of an immature man? Here, we will understand emotionally immature men, their signs, and ways to handle them.
How can you tell if someone is immature?
An emotionally immature man may find it difficult to express or communicate their emotions. As a result, they may express their emotions without restraint and care about the consequences of their actions.
An emotionally immature man may overreact in certain situations and fail to consider his partner’s perspective. They are referred to as a man-child because although they are grown, they act like children and find it difficult to care for themselves.
Is being immature a personality disorder?
Immaturity itself is not considered a personality disorder. Immaturity is a broad term that describes a lack of emotional or behavioral maturity, characterized by impulsive actions, poor decision-making, difficulty taking responsibility, and limited emotional intelligence.
While immaturity can affect one’s personal and interpersonal life, it is not classified as a specific personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
On the other hand, personality disorders are distinct mental health conditions characterized by enduring patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience that deviate markedly from cultural expectations and cause significant distress or impairment. Examples of personality disorders include narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.
How to avoid getting involved with an immature man
Being vigilant about early warning signs is crucial to avoid getting involved with an immature man. First, pay close attention to his behavior and communication style. Look for signs of impulsivity, a lack of emotional intelligence, and an inability to take responsibility for his actions.
Secondly, consider his level of commitment and readiness for a mature relationship. Immature guy’s signs may include shying away from responsibilities in the relationship and life in general.
Lastly, trust your instincts and set clear boundaries. If you sense immaturity, prioritize open communication and ensure your needs and expectations align. Remember, a healthy relationship requires mutual maturity and respect.
17 deadly signs of an immature man
It’s important to remember that maturity can vary from person to person, and it’s not always easy to categorize someone as “immature” based on a checklist of signs.
However, there are certain behaviors and characteristics that can be indicative signs of immaturity in a man. Here are some potential signs a guy is immature:
1. He doesn’t plan for the future
One of the signs of an immature man can be his lack of ambition. An immature guy may not have any plans for the future and might find it difficult to hold down a job because of their reactivity. They can also be overly passive with regards to their relationship or contributing financially to their relationship.
Adults strategize on achieving future ambitions, but immature men don’t think far into their future.
2. Fear of commitment
An immature man may hesitate or avoid entering into serious, long-term relationships or making substantial life commitments. This fear can manifest as a reluctance to settle down, establish future plans, or invest emotionally in a relationship, usually due to a fear of responsibility or a desire to maintain personal freedom.
Developing a good spending habit takes discipline, something an immature guy may lack. An immature man tends to be reckless, which can come across as buying expensive and non-essential things.
As a result, he can spend thousands of dollars he doesn’t have on something he doesn’t need. Being an adult means taking financial responsibility, curtailing your spending, and having a balanced lifestyle. Frivolous spending can be one of the signs of an immature man.
4. He’s unpredictable and stubborn during an argument
Having a meaningful and deep conversation with an immature man during an argument can be tricky. They usually depend on petty insults directed at you to win an argument.
When an immature person loses an argument, instead of challenging your points or conceding they were at fault, they would instead attack you personally.
For instance, imagine arguing with an immature guy about why a particular food is better. While you prove your points with facts, he may attack your character by saying only a lunatic will like that food.
5. He never apologizes
One of the potential signs of an immature man in a relationship is that he doesn’t admit when he is wrong. He won’t hold himself accountable for his actions or admit his wrongdoings.
Examples of excuses they might give include
“It’s not my fault I forgot; you failed to remind me.”
“I couldn’t get around to working on the project; my assistant failed to put it on my schedule.”
“Pete wanted to have drinks; it’s not my fault I missed dinner.”
Immature guys may rather cast the blame on others than apologize.
An immature guy might not be capable of commitment; they may find it difficult to hold down a relationship. When you ask him about his past long-term relationships, he may brush it off with a laugh.
A lack of meaningful connections can indicate his struggle to invest emotionally and grow within a committed partnership.
7. He is self-centered
Emotionally immature guys generally are focused on themselves and may show narcissistic tendencies. They may believe the world revolves around them and won’t try to understand the opinions of others. As a result, they might only insert themselves in favorable situations and avoid negative situations or complex conversations.
A man who isn’t interested in your feelings, aspirations, or interests may be immature emotionally. They want the spotlight and attention to remain on them.
One of the signs of an immature guy can be that he is always fixated on himself. His self-confidence reduces if he notices the room is not fixated on him and gets distressed at the realization.
As a result, he can intimidate and oppress others to get their attention back on him.
As per the research, bullying can be linked to emotional immaturity; in these cases, age typically doesn’t mean maturity.
Immature men may have low emotional intelligence and bully others. They might enjoy the power of lording over other people, which adds to their ego. They can show signs of deep-rooted insecurity by lashing out at other people.
Immature men feel better and find fulfillment when they bully others. However, mature men face insecurities instead of putting others down to feel good. If your man always attacks and bullies you, you might be dating an immature man.
10. He is a poor listener
Immature men are typically not interested in what you have to say. They think they are always right or what you have to say is unimportant. His poor listening skills range from interrupting and forcing his opinions on you.
So, if you want to know if your man is immature, ask yourself if you feel heard or appreciated when you talk to him.
You can hardly get a word in with an immature man during a conversation, and they might get offended if you suggest another way of handling a situation.
An immature partner may hardly support or encourage you. However, he might always be itching to criticize or put you down because they get frustrated by different viewpoints. As a result, he may be emotionally unavailable when you need his support.
He may always be ready to point out your flaws but may choose to ignore your achievements. An immature person enjoys putting others down to feel good about themselves. Seeing another person thrive or succeed can affect their self-confidence.
An immature person may rather lie than own up to the truth and apologize for the role they played. Another reason why they lie is that the truth is plain and basic.
He would rather come up with an elaborate lie to put himself at the center of attention and build up a false image. They may likely twist the truth to make themselves feel cool and to walk away from a problem.
On the other hand, a mature guy is satisfied with reality without constantly complaining about how things “should” be. He is more interested in facing problems head-on with self-reflection and compassion.
A relationship can have an emotional intimacy gap when dating an immature man. As a result, you may find it challenging to connect and share your problems with him.
Getting him to acknowledge your needs in the relationship is pointless, as he won’t be able to connect with you. As a result, you’ll feel invisible in many ways.
14. You can’t engage in deep conversations with him
An immature man may avoid tough conversations about the relationship. They might be overwhelmed by their feelings and prefer to ignore them. They usually laugh over a conversation or claim they are too tired to talk. Also, an immature guy won’t go deep when talking about their feelings.
15. He is indecisive
An immature man can be indecisive, and you may most likely find yourself making all the decisions in the relationship. He may go back and forth before deciding if he ever does. An immature man can try to avoid responsibilities and leave it up to you to make the decisions.
16. He shows a lack of emotional responsiveness
Another sign of an immature man can be his inability to connect and respond to your needs emotionally. He may struggle to empathize with your feelings or provide emotional support during challenging times.
Emotional disconnect can leave you feeling unsupported and alone in the relationship, as he fails to recognize and address your emotional needs.
17. He avoids relationship discussions
Immature men may shy away from discussing the relationship’s future or addressing critical issues. They may dodge conversations about commitment, conflict resolution, or personal growth within the partnership.
Such avoidance can reflect their reluctance to take responsibility for the relationship’s direction and can hinder its growth and stability.
In addition to recognizing signs of emotional immaturity in a man, it’s essential to be vigilant about early warning signs. First, pay close attention to his behavior and communication style.
Look for signs of an immature husband, like impulsivity, a lack of emotional intelligence, and an inability to take responsibility for his actions.
How do you handle an emotionally immature man?
Can your man’s behavior be linked to most of the abovementioned signs? If so, not all hope is lost. Breaking up with an immature man is not the only solution.
With the right information on ‘how to handle an immature man” and patience, you can end up turning your relationship around. The following are some ways to handle an immature man:
You must let him take responsibility for his actions. Don’t roll over and overlook his actions; if you do this, you’re taking away his opportunity to change. Letting him face the consequences of his actions can deter him from repeating the same mistakes.
Also, when he makes a mistake, don’t take the blame for his actions or agree with him when he blames someone else. Instead, be direct, empathetic, and honest. Let him know he can’t blame others for his actions.
When your man is on the wrong side, let him know. He might be unaware of his immature actions and may be ready to change once it is brought to his attention. Don’t beat around the bush or downplay his actions.
Let him be fully aware of the impact of his actions on you and the relationship.
Set healthy boundaries
The aim is not to push him away but to cause a change in him. One way this can be done is by setting healthy boundaries. This is a great way of dealing with an emotionally immature man.
Don’t come up with excuses for your partner or agree with them when they do. Instead, be assertive and let them know you won’t condone certain acts like being disrespected.
Most importantly, don’t be all words and no actions. Follow your words, and don’t tolerate your partner’s immature acts.
Watch Melissa Hartwig Urban, the author of The Book of Boundaries, as she explains how you can make people respect your boundaries in this video:
Seek the help of a therapist
A therapist can help him reach a level of self-awareness and help him develop as a person. However, this can only be attainable if your partner is ready to put in the work. A professional can help him sort through his feelings and develop a healthy coping strategy.
Commonly asked questions
Recognizing immaturity in individuals, especially men, can be essential for personal relationships and decision-making. Here are answers to some commonly asked questions about identifying immaturity and understanding its signs.
How do you know if a guy is immature?
You can identify immaturity in a guy by observing behaviors such as impulsivity, inability to handle responsibilities, excessive self-centeredness, and a lack of emotional intelligence. Immature individuals can struggle with communication and problem-solving.
What is the biggest sign of immaturity?
One of the biggest signs of immaturity can be the inability to take responsibility for one’s actions and choices. Immature individuals may blame others for their problems, avoid accountability, and resist personal growth.
How does an immature person behave?
Immature people typically exhibit erratic behavior, engage in attention-seeking actions, and struggle with emotional regulation. They may act impulsively, throw tantrums, and have difficulty making thoughtful, long-term decisions.
At what age does a man mature mentally?
Mental maturity varies among individuals, but most experts agree that the prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and decision-making, continues to develop into the mid-20s. However, maturity is not solely age-dependent and can vary significantly from person to person.
An immature man can find it difficult to express his feelings and come off as rude or selfish. This article seeks to point out the signs of an immature man to help you identify them. However, this doesn’t mean they can’t change and grow to be better human beings.
After all, the only constant in life is change! Remember that you can’t force somebody to change. Walking away from an immature man doesn’t reflect poorly on you, and you can only stand by them if they decide to change.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.