7 Major Relationship Red Flags
Marriage & Family Therapist |
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3 mins
Updated: 26 Sep, 2019
Navigating the ups and downs throughout the life of the relationship is not abnormal.
All relationships take work, even the healthy ones In fact, working through growing pains and
overcoming obstacles together can bring partners closer together. However, there are some
behaviors that are detrimental to the health of the relationship.
These are red flags in a relationship.
Behaviors that revolve around power and control, manipulation or that cause mental, physical, emotional or financial harm are not “just part of” a relationship.
These are relationship red flags you should never ignore.
Compromise and collaboration are important tools within a relationship but it is important to recognize the difference between compromise and feeling coerced into behaving a certain way to please or not upset your partner.
It is not mean to leave or not start relationships where you see relationship red flags. It is a myth that with enough love, you can change a partner. It is important to remember, you cannot change another person’s behavior.
Relationship red flags come in many different forms but the common factor is they all negatively impact the health of the relationship.
This list is meant to be informative and to serve as a means to ask deeper questions.
There are also a few examples of the behaviors that are indicative of relationship red flags.
1. Lack of trust
- Excessive questioning in terms of how you feel about your partner
- Requesting proof of love or commitment
2. Addictive behaviors
- Abusing substances
- Gambling in excess
3. Threats
- Threatening to damage property
- Threatening suicide
- Threatening physical violence against you or others
4. Controlling access
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Not allowing you to leave the premises
- Requiring to know where you are at all times
5. Verbal aggression
- Name calling
- Insults
6. Physical aggression
- Throwing objects
- Punching walls
- Hitting, pinching, slapping or kicking
- Grabbing, pushing or shoving
- Spitting
- Forcing sexual contact
7. Lack of respect for personal and/or sexual boundaries
- Requiring passcodes for personal devices
- Checking emails, text messages and/or voicemails
- Performing sexual acts after you have said “no” and/or that you do not like it
The seven listed above are a few of the more common red flags.
There are other early relationship red flags to look out for when you start dating someone which corroborate that you are in a relationship with a potentially toxic person. Run in the opposite direction as soon as these major relationship flags burst your romance bubble.
You find yourself justifying their bad and unacceptable behavior, hopeful it will make them turn a new leaf in their life and make them treat you better.
They treat you like a commodity to meets their needs. Ridden with a false sense of entitlement, they are the incorrigible takers. It is a lopsided relationship, lacking the balance of give and take dynamics. You keep giving day after day, week after week and find yourself in a situation where you are feeding your partner’s needs, and your efforts are not reciprocated with appreciation or any inputs or contribution from their side.
They show signs of narcissism. They lack empathy and they make everything about themselves, victimizing themself or accusing you of bringing misery into their lives. All they care about is themselves. The carryover effect of their narcissism would be your eroded sense of self-worth and confidence.
What do you do when you see red flags in a relationship?
It is important to attend to your inner self.
If it feels strange or makes you uncomfortable, honor your feelings. You do not need to talk yourself into or convince yourself to stay in a relationship that is eating at your inner happiness and mental well-being.
For more help on ending a toxic relationship today it is best to reach out to a relationship expert, who can help you see signs of an unhealthy relationship. By seeking professional help, you will realize in the course of time that you are worthy of love, and deserve to find a suitable partner who treats you as an equal, and extends respect to you.
Also, your friends and family know you like the back of their hands, and seeking their advice and support can help you put pieces of your broken self together and end the unhealthy relationship.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Relationships and mental health are my passions! I have over thirteen years of experience working with individuals and couples on a variety of concerns including building better relationships, anxiety, depression, family conflict, and trauma.
