Being in a marriage is not a guarantee that you will be happy. At times things turn upside down and people end up being discouraged and regret why they tied the knot in the first place.
When you walked down the aisle, you promised your partner in the presence of witnesses that you will always be there for them through thick and thin. However, as time passes, you realize that your partner is not who you thought she or he is and you experience harrowing marriage problems.
What happens is that most people only think of quitting their marriages forgetting that there is no problem without a solution.
If you are among the people who have reached a dead end and almost letting go, you have come to the right place where we give you tips to save your marriage and be happy again
Causes of unhappiness in marriage
Before we even dive into those tips you could be looking for to fix your unhappy marriage, let’s examine what causes it. When marriages go bad, it becomes hard to figure out the problem and how to fix it.
However, the most common problems affecting marriages include;
Now that you already have an idea about possible causes of unhappy marriages, it’s good to remember that there are hurdles which you are likely to encounter no matter how perfect your marriage may seem to be.
At times, evil thoughts can pop into your mind and start thinking, ‘what kind of trouble did I get myself into??’ When you are unhappy and depressed, the only thing you think of is filing for a divorce or separating from your lovebird.
You forget that marriage is supposed to be a lifetime institution between couples.
If you are still wondering how you can cope with your marriage yet you are about to give up, here are ways you can apply to fix your unhappy marriage
1. Build an effective communication structure
Communication is a vital component that keeps marriages healthy and happy. When you fail to communicate, you poison the relationship between the two of you.
If you are unhappy, try communicating with your partner and you will see positive change. Don’t be too busy with your work or children and forget that your partner is there with you.
Create time and engage with your partner on a daily basis. Talk about the things affecting your marriage and don’t forget to tell them how important they are in your life. If you fear to talk to them directly, text or call them and you will surely pass a message that will bring happiness back into your marriage.
Also watch: How to Find Happiness in Your Marriage
2. Learn to forgive and forget
You have probably heard the phrase ‘to err is human’ more times than you can recall, right? If you have, then you have to understand that no one is perfect and even the most perfect people do make mistakes.
If you want to bring happiness back to your marriage life, both of you must learn to forgive each other and most importantly, forget about the bad thing she or he did. Also, never judge your partner because doing so makes them feel bad and you can affect them mentally and psychologically.
If your partner has done something wrong, talk to them nicely without cursing or shouting at them, and make them understand how bad you feel about the bad thing they did to you, but mention that you forgive them.
3. Be committed to your relationship
As stated earlier, lack of commitment is a dangerous poison that kills marriages. If you want to bring happiness back to your marriage, be committed to your relationship.
The time you’ve started experiencing unhappiness is the best time to be more committed to your partner. Talk about his or her goals and ambitions and always be supportive. The best thing you can do is to avoid anything that reduces the level of commitment to each other and show them that you still love them.
For instance, you can brew a cup of coffee for her or leave a letter note in his briefcase. That way, you give yourselves a reason to be happy again.
4. Seek for help
Sometimes carrying marital burdens could be very tiresome requiring someone to share with; after all, a problem shared is half solved. If you know of a couple who are happily married, talk to them and ask how they manage to be happy in their marriage.
Ask how they solve problems and also how they talk to each other when storms strike their marriage, and then apply their techniques in your relationship. If you think your marriage needs more support, talk to a professional either with your partner or alone.
Talking to a professional can help in uncovering the root cause of your unhappiness and give you any ideas on how to fix it.
5. Love and respect your partner regardless of the situation
Love, affection, and attention are some of the pillars that keep marriages happy. When one or all of them is missing, the happiness disappears too. You should give them all to your partner even if you two are not in good terms.
Give your partner the attention they deserve and most importantly, show them love. Treating them with gratitude and respect can surely fix your unhappiness. It may be tough to show love to the person who has wronged you, but it’s only affection that can bind the hearts together.
Be kind to your partner and do good to them even if they are the bad guys in your situation. When you show such love and affection, your spouse responds with the similar affection and there you are, happy again!!
6. Deal with every situation at a time
At times you may realize that so many issues, may it be household chores, family responsibilities, money or even child care have cropped up causing uneasiness in your marriage.
Trying to solve all of them at the same time will only give you nothing but a headache and more troubles between the two of you. The best thing is to solve them individually and when you manage to fix it, move on to the next issue and deal with it head-on.
You can do this regardless of how long it takes to solve a single problem, and most importantly, solve it together.
As you find the solution to one problem, happiness will come back in your marriage without even noticing.
Marriage can be tougher than you first thought, and making it work requires care, time, and patience. When you are not experiencing the happiness, you had when you were dating or when you married, just know there is a problem.
Thinking of when things started becoming sour in your relationship could be the road towards discovering your problem. After finding out where the challenge is, follow the above ways and you will definitely fix the unhappy marriage and enjoy living happily ever after.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.