The co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Dr. Lisa Firestone, often says love is indescribable and it is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you can get in life. 

This is because it brings immense joy to your life, which makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.

Nonetheless, being fooled by someone you love can be one of the most devastating and painful experiences that one can go through. When this happens, you feel betrayed, hurt, and at the same time, confused. Hence, it can be challenging to know how to move forward from this situation.

The reason behind this is that it will make you question everything you thought you knew about the person and your relationship with them. If you find yourself in this situation, the good news is that there are various steps you can take to recover from it.

In this article, we will explore and discuss 15 practical and effective strategies to recover if you’re being fooled by someone you love, so you can heal and move forward with your life.

How do you know if your partner is fooling you in love?

Determining whether your partner is fooling you in love can be a challenging task. However, there are some warning signs that you can look out for to determine if your partner’s feelings are genuine.

First, pay attention to their actions. If your partner seems to be more interested in spending time with their friends or on their own rather than with you, this could be a sign that they are not as invested in the relationship as you are.

Additionally, pay attention to how they communicate with you. If they seem to be evasive or dishonest when you ask them questions or are not willing to discuss important issues in your relationship, it could be a sign that they are not prioritizing your relationship.

In the next section of this article, we will discuss in detail 5 signs that show that your partner is fooling you and further discuss and give effective tips on how to recover from this challenging situation.

5 signs your partner is fooling you

As mentioned earlier, being fooled by someone you love is a painful experience that can leave you feeling betrayed and hurt. It’s essential to be aware of the signs that you are being fooled so that you can take the necessary steps to protect yourself. Below are five signs to watch out for.

1. Lack of communication

Any healthy relationship is built on communication. If your partner is withholding information, avoiding conversations, or seems distant, it could be a sign that they are hiding something. It’s crucial to have open and honest communication to build trust and maintain a healthy relationship.

2. Change in their behavior

If you notice that your partner’s behavior suddenly changes, such as becoming more distant, secretive, or argumentative, it could be a sign that they are hiding something from you. If your partner is usually reliable, and their behavior changes, it’s essential to have a conversation and address your concerns.

3. They are being dishonest

If your partner is lying to you, it’s a significant red flag. If you catch your partner in a lie, it’s essential to confront them about it and discuss why they felt the need to deceive you. 

In his study, author Tim Cole (2001) notes that it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship if they continue to lie.

4. Lack of trust

If you find yourself constantly questioning your partner’s actions, it’s a sign that you don’t trust them. If they have given you a reason not to trust them, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about why you feel this way and what steps they can take to rebuild your trust.

5. Lack of respect

Ultimately, if your partner is disrespectful towards you, your feelings, or your boundaries, it’s a sign that they don’t value you or your relationship. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you can be damaging not only to your relationship but also to your mental health and self-esteem.

By recognizing the signs that you are being fooled by someone you trust, you can take the necessary steps to begin the healing process and protect yourself. Always remember that communication, honesty, trust, and respect are essential components of a healthy relationship.

Related Reading: 20 Signs He Doesn’t Respect You

15 ways to recover if you’re being fooled by someone you love

It’s important to remember that you are not alone when you are being fooled by someone you love, and there are ways to recover from this situation. In this section, we will discuss 15 ways to recover if you’re being fooled by someone you love.

1. Accept your feelings

It is okay to feel hurt or sad in this situation. The first step to healing is to accept your feelings. Don’t try to deny or push them away. Acknowledge and allow yourself to feel these emotions and understand that it is a natural reaction to what’s happened.

Related Reading: How to Get Over Hurt Feelings in a Relationship: 10 Ways

2. Don’t blame yourself

Always remember that being fooled by someone you love and trust is not your fault. Their actions or behavior is not a reflection of their worth or value as a person. Hence, try to avoid blaming yourself for someone else’s actions and move on with your life.

3. Seek support

It’s important to have a support system during this time. Reach out to trusted family, friends, or a therapist. These are the people that can provide you with a listening ear and offer guidance on how to move forward. Having someone to talk to can be very helpful in processing your emotions.

4. Give yourself time

Know that healing takes time so it’s essential to take time for yourself to heal and recover during the situation. Do things that make you happy, such as spending time with loved ones or engaging in your loved hobbies. Don’t rush the process; allow yourself to feel and process your emotions.

Related Reading: 5 Tips for Making Time for Yourself After Marriage

5. Focus on self-care

Don’t forget that your health is important and should be your first priority. Hence, take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Try to do activities that bring you happiness and joy. You can also engage in activities that promote relaxation. Don’t forget to eat healthily, exercise well, and get enough sleep.

6. Set boundaries

It hurts being fooled by someone you love, and if this person fooling you is still in your life, do not hesitate to set boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. Protecting yourself is essential and setting boundaries in your relationship is necessary.

7. Practice forgiveness and communicate

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the behavior. It’s about letting go of the anger and resentment toward who fooled you. If you feel comfortable, try communicating with the person who has fooled you.

In a medically reviewed article, it was warned that “If you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly.” Hence, Let your partner know how you feel, express your concerns, and let go of the anger.

8. Focus on the present

Don’t dwell on the past; focus on the present and move on for good. It can be easy to get caught up in thoughts about the past or worries about the future, but focusing on the present is a powerful way to improve your well-being and reduce stress.

9. Avoid self-destructive behaviors

It is easy to turn to self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse or isolating yourself. Don’t make any significant decisions while you’re still processing your emotions. Instead, give yourself time to think things through, seek healthy coping mechanisms, and make rational decisions.

Related Reading: How to Stop Self Harm in My Relationship: 10 Ways

10. Stay positive

It is essential to know that it is easy to fall into a negative mindset during this situation. Try as much as possible to stay positive and focus on the good things in your life, such as your hobbies, passions, and relationships with loved ones.

11. Learn from the experience

Look for meaning in this experience and learn from it. Learning from the experience is an essential aspect of recovering from being fooled by someone you love. Reflect on what happened and identify any red flags or warning signs; this can help you make more informed decisions in the future.

Having high expectations of our romantic partners may seem attractive, but it can lead to impatience, anger, and bitterness. To truly love someone, it’s better to expect less from them. 

Check out this video to understand why expecting less of love can actually be a good thing:

12. Practice gratitude

Cultivate gratitude by focusing on the things in your life that you are thankful for. Practicing gratitude can help you feel more positive and optimistic about your life and the future. You can take time each day to think about what you’re grateful for.

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Show Gratitude to Your Spouse

13. Seek closure

Though, it hurts being fooled by someone you trust. However, closure can be helpful in moving on from this experience. If possible, have a conversation with the person who fooled you and express your feelings. Try to forgive, as forgiveness can help you move on and find closure.

14. Seek professional help

If you struggle to cope with your emotions, don’t hesitate to seek relationship counseling. Seeking professional help is an essential step in recovering from being fooled by someone you love. Remember that there’s no shame in asking for help, and it’s a sign of strength to recognize when you need it.

15. Move forward

Finally, remember that life goes on. Even though Moving forward after being fooled by someone you love can be challenging, it’s essential to focus on healing and growth. Take what you’ve learned from this experience and use it to move forward with hope and optimism for the future.

Being fooled by someone you love is definitely a painful experience, but it’s not the end. With the right support, mindset, and actions, you can recover and move forward. Remember to take care of yourself and stay positive. Above all, use this experience as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Related Reading: How to Keep a Relationship Moving Forward

Frequently asked questions

In this section, we’ll address some commonly asked questions that you might have about being fooled by someone you trust. Whether you’re new to a relationship or looking to refine your existing relationship currently experiencing the situation, this can provide you with helpful tips.

• What are emotional fools?

Being fooled by someone you love can be emotionally devastating. Emotional fools are individuals who are easily deceived, overlooking the truth about their relationships, especially when it comes to being fooled by someone they love. They may be too trusting and fail to see the warning signs of deception.

Being fooled by loved ones is a painful experience that can leave emotional scars. It can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that they may not have your best interests at heart. However, you must recognize and acknowledge the truth for your healing and recovery.

• Is there such a thing as emotional infidelity?

Yes, there is such a thing as emotional infidelity. It can be just as painful and damaging as physical infidelity, and it involves being emotionally intimate with someone outside of the committed relationship. Emotional infidelity can leave the betrayed partner feeling betrayed, hurt, and confused.

This can also lead to a breakdown in trust and communication, making it difficult to recover from being fooled. It’s better you look for signs of emotional infidelity and if suspected, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and work together to rebuild trust and intimacy.

Carry the lesson, not the hurt!

Being fooled by someone you love can be a painful and challenging experience, but it’s not the end of the world. The road to recovery may be long and arduous, but it’s definitely possible. Remember that recovery starts with acknowledging that you’ve been fooled and accepting your feelings.

After that, taking proactive steps to heal yourself is important. Some of the things you can do include seeking professional help, talking to a trusted friend or family member, practicing self-care, and focusing on personal growth and development.

Moreover, it’s important to learn from the experience and use it to improve your relationships. Finally, remember that recovery is a process, and there may be setbacks along the way, be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time. 

With perseverance, self-love, and support, you can emerge stronger and wiser from this experience.