A dominant wife may need to take control of every situation. Her goal is to keep things in order and make sure everything is handled in the best possible way.
She doesn’t believe she’s being unreasonable but standing for what’s right and making sure her spouse or partner follows suit. Sometimes she doesn’t realize her manipulation or attempts to have things her way.
Still, the tools used to control the spouse’s behavior are much more manipulative to dominate a mate’s behavior, often to the point, there’s a part of them that almost believes it’s warranted. This kind of dominance in marriage is unhealthy.
What it means to be a dominating wife
A domineering wife has little respect for the spouse. She will approach their partner with aggression and criticize them mercilessly, whether it be on social media work events in front of family and friends.
Showing that kind of blatant disregard is almost like saying your husband falls somewhere beneath you. It’s a toxic situation.
How to know if you are a dominating wife
When you interrupt your husband who might be involved in something else, whether it be a conversation with someone, watching a program they were looking forward to, or working on something that needs taking care of because you want their time and attention right then for something else that’s domineering.
You can tell you’re dominating when you choose to yell and throw a fit over minor things instead of attempting to handle them reasonably.
25 signs you are a dominating wife
Controlling wife behaviors is related to a power imbalance in the marriage. The dominant wife causes intimidation for her spouse and insecurity and guilt.
A spouse can experience these emotions through physical, psychological, sexual, financial control—some signs of a dominating wife.
1. Isolates spouse from others
The dominant wife will begin gradually and subtly but complaining about time spent with friends and family is a first step in a wife-dominated marriage.
The idea is that you no longer have a support system to turn to when things are rough at home, making it harder for them to stand up against you.
2. Criticises and complains, no matter how small
These issues can start over minor issues but begin to include everything from the way your spouse dresses, how they handle chores, to their manner of eating.
After a while, it’s impossible to find yourself valued in the partnership or loved without condition when you’re being criticized over all your daily habits.
Threats made by a dominant wife don’t have to be physical against you. They can be insinuated threats against themselves, the idea that they’ll leave, that privileges will be stopped, or other manipulative tactics.
In some cases, a wife dominating a husband will go so far as to use the kids against him.
4. Loves conditionally
If you go on a diet and lose that extra weight, I’ll find you that much more attractive. If you get the promotion at work, we’ll get along so much better.
The you that you are right now is not good enough, but if you had finished college to talk to your dominant wife friends and make some other vast improvements, you would just about make the grade.
5. Keeps tally
Each time you do a favor for the other person, it’s supposed to be something appreciated, and it’s known that ultimately they’ll do something for you when you need it.
Unfortunately, a dominant wife doesn’t leave it to chance. She keeps a tally of how often she does something for her spouse and lets them know quite often.
Characteristics of a dominant wife include shrew manipulations capable of making their partner feel guilt about day-to-day happenings.
Spouses don’t like the idea of feeling guilty and will do what they need to, including letting go of their personal opinion and relenting to the control of the dominant wife.
7. Is extravagant
In the beginning, when you start dating, you might be lavished with expensive gifts, driving a luxury car, staying at her nice place, taking you to extravagant meals, outings.
It makes it more difficult for you to walk away from the controlling person if warning signs begin to pop up.
8. Spies on the spouse
Whether snooping behind your backing or demanding to be privy to private information, they feel they deserve full disclosure despite that being a violation of personal boundaries.
They might go into your email, check your phone, or track your internet history consistently. There should be a level of trust. This steps over the line.
Jealousy in the start is often viewed as cute and endearing, a sign of how much someone has become attached. When it grows intense, it becomes possessive and can be scary.
A mate who looks at every interaction you encounter as flirting finds suspicion with or feels threatened by many people you meet or blames you for leading people on could be an anxious, insecure, and paranoid person, not to mention controlling.
All couples need time apart to enjoy personal interests, alone time, personal space. Dominant wife rules don’t allow this time; they don’t respect alone time for their spouse, instead of making them feel guilty for even requesting such a thing.
Just because a dominant wife might not need the time on her own, it’s good for some people to recharge and rejuvenate. It’s wise to discuss the topic with someone less controlling to talk with.
11. Has trust issues
The idea of having to earn trust after being with someone for a significant period seems like a personal issue more than an issue with the spouse.
But the spouse is the one who needs to get the third degree when he is a little late from the office or if he stops somewhere on the way home, or maybe he stepped out for lunch. He shouldn’t have to speak about his whereabouts every second day.
A wife controls marriage and can manipulate each situation, so you believe you’re guilty before you even know what happened. Typically, you’ll come into an angry demeanor regarding something they decided while you were away.
The assumption is it was criminal. It’s their way to keep you in line, so you don’t do it again.
13. Makes the spouse tired of arguments
While some dominant wife marriages like to fly in under the radar, others embrace arguments and openly and boisterously join in conflict with their partners often.
It’s especially true when a mate is especially passive. The dominant wife has a greater likelihood of coming out on top in each disagreement in many cases because the controlling partner is exhausted from all the arguments.
If you have specific cultural traditions, a particular take on politics, or a long-standing faith, it’s nice to have these discussions with a partner to get their take and see things from a different side of the spectrum.
That doesn’t mean you’ll change your view. It’s awful when a dominant wife belittles your views and tries to change your mind to their way of thinking.
A dominant wife wants you to feel grateful that you’re in a relationship with her. She expresses how much more attractive she is, how much more accomplished, more friends, even goes so far as to compare you to previous dates.
It creates an atmosphere where a spouse wants to work harder to keep their special wife, which is part of her control tactic.
A controlling person can often use ridicule as a form of interacting to bring humor or teasing to the conversation. It needs to be appreciated by both people involved instead of a thinly veiled excuse for emotional abuse.
Not everyone will see the humor in being belittled or put down for the other person’s good time.
Check out this informativebook on what to do when control takes over, and you want to find a way to let go of it.
17. Is upset after sex
If your sexual relationship leaves you unsettled, it’s an indication; there are issues in the partnership. Sometimes things are not okay during sex when there’s an abusive or controlling side to the partnership.
That can lead to things not feeling good even after the interaction. That needs to be carefully looked at and perhaps approached with a counselor before further interactions.
18. Disregards your point of view
When attempting to offer your opinion or express your viewpoint, you’re continuously interrupted, or what you say is dismissed or never acknowledged. Your wife always dominates the conversations; there are never thought-provoking questions for you to answer.
A dominant wife will not pay attention to your fitness goals nor respect them. There will be continual temptation to take a cigarette even if you’ve quit; take more alcohol than you want to drink. It’s another way to take control and make a partner weaker.
In many relationships, some decisions are mutually exclusive to the person they pertain to. That’s not true in a dominating marriage. The wife has a say in every decision, even if it’s not necessarily relevant to her.
That can include the kind of clothing you buy, schooling decisions, and other personal choices.
She berates people who can’t be like her. She is self-obsessed, making it impossible to see good in others who don’t function like her. It’s why she has few friends.
22. Is easily embarrassed
While she enjoys going out with you for your company, a controlling wife will dictate the acceptable behavior you should display in front of her friends and colleagues so you don’t embarrass her.
Quite likely, she is a high-maintenance woman, and that means you shouldn’t do any talking while with her at the event. Those at the event will wonder why you’re not interacting, but you’re afraid to say anything taboo with strict rules.
You’ll ultimately begin to lose your self-esteem, which will require a conversation since it borders on mental abuse.
23. Gets furious at almost anything
If things don’t work out the way she wants, acting out inappropriately or getting angry is typical behavior for the dominant wife. It’s not just a matter of being short-tempered; men are scared of their wives’ anger issues with yelling.
She needs to know the drama no longer works, so she stops the behavior.
She uses harsh words, curse words, yells, and gets angry when arguing. If you get involved by participating in this behavior, she will worsen.
Her methodology is to control your articulation, thoughts, and emotions. The best thing to do is to avoid the conflict and wait until there’s a more reasonable time to have a discussion.
Listen to this podcast on the controlling wife trying to stir up the husband’s anger.
25. Has behavioral issues that need professional help
A controlling person is not healthy for anyone emotionally or mentally. You can try to talk to your spouse about it patiently, but it is one of the ideal methods in counseling.
An experienced therapist can help a dominant wife understand the need for stringent control and teach coping skills for triggers.
A dominant wife takes all the control in a partnership with the potential to create emotional and mental distress due to the relationship’s toxicity. Before throwing in the towel, it’s always wise to reach out to professionals for guidance on the issues.
Counseling is a solution for the couple if the controlling partner will participate. The experts can guide her to understand the need for dominance and teach her how to manage the triggers.
The partner will also be set into the red flags of the behavior and given reactive behavior that won’t bring further conflict.
In these circumstances, professional therapy is very beneficial to each member of the couplehood.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.