Out of all problems, many of the serious yet common issues that spring in a relationship root up from anger. From lingering grudges resulting in fights and arguments to feeling emotionally detached from your partner; anger has always been regarded as a poison for your relationship.
However, little do we know that anger is just an emotion. An emotion that is inevitable, and all natural to feel. And to your surprise, ‘anger’ does not share the onus of your problems, but perhaps it is the consequences this emotion brings about that are to be blamed.
Thus, it is extremely important to know how to deal with your anger. Do not know how? The key is simple; manage yours and soften your partner’s anger and foster a healthy relationship.
2 principles that you need to manage anger in a relationship and build a healthy relationship
1. Think before you act
When anger rises, think of the consequences- Confucius
This is one of the best strategies to manage your anger. Think thoroughly about everything before you act out of anger. Think whether you being angry is really worth it or not. Ponder over the consequences your action will bring; are they fruitful, or will they worsen the situation?
Doing this not only saves you from acting irresponsibly and hurting your relationship but also gives you a much better insight of the matter.
2. Listen to the side of your partner
There is no denying to the fact that every story has two sides. This maxim alone endorses the need to listen to your partner before acting out on them.
But do you think it all ends here? Certainly, not! Listening to your partner is actually more about understanding their reasons and perspective. It is about being open to the perspectives your partner has and treating them with respect.
Once you have both sides of the story, it becomes easier to reach a conclusion. Furthermore, it strengthens the bond you share with your partner and helps you maintain a stable temper in general.
3. Feel your anger but do not let it take over
This is very important.
Make sure you always feel your anger alone and do not bury it inside you. This paves a way for further anger to dwell in which makes things worse.
However, a common misconception people hold is that feeling anger to the full is equivalent to expressing it to the full. Your actions must always be controlled especially when they are a result of anger.
Keys for coping up with your partner’s anger in a relationship
Try to remain calm
Being calm and understanding when your partner is all angry and shouting at you may be hard, but is surely worth it in the end. It helps your partner lets out whatever they feel or have in their hearts; making them feel emotionally relieved.
Once they have spilt the beans, sit them down and talk everything out. Clear the misunderstandings they have regarding you, or present them with your justifications. Not only does it make your partner realize they were wrong to lash out on you immediately without listening to you, but will also make them feel loved and valued.
Make them speak
If your partner is angry at you and giving you the silent treatment make sure you do not let this go by. Communication is the key here.
Hold your partner’s hand, sit with them and talk it out. Ask them clarifying questions. Force them gently to let out everything inside them. Listen to them actively, and show them that you support them. Show them that you can understand their feelings.
Lastly, reassure and reach a conclusion together for a long-lasting and healthy relationship.