Being dominant or submissive is natural among all human beings. If you look over your relationship with friends, family, co-workers, you can give a clear answer as to if you are a dominant or a subordinate in all these relationships. Being either dominant or a subordinate is a major part of our characters and plays an important role in how we deal with people in our daily lives. This characteristic is often fluid and tends to change depending upon the situation, and the person you are interacting with such as you may be the alpha over your kids but beta when it comes to working.
It is also common to see that in every relationship, either one of the spouses is more dominant while the other is more complying, hence a subordinate. We say that equality between partners is the key to a successful marriage. However, this may not be entirely true.
Dominant and subordinate partners in a relationship
Dominant and subordinate partners in a relationship prove extremely beneficial to the said relationship. A dominant and submissive relationship may make you think of the common sexual fantasy of roleplaying among spouses during physical intimacy. However, this kind of relationship is not only limited to being intimate. A couple can practice dominance and submission in their daily affairs, with one of them having more power than the other. Although this might raise questions, numerous surveys have proved asymmetrical relationships like this to be more stable, and successful.
What are dominants and subordinates like in a relationship?
Any romantic relationship or marriage that comprises a dominant and a subordinate tends to have assigned roles since the beginning of the relationship. One of the partners is responsible for taking all decisions for the family, be it ventures such as buying a new house, concentrating on one’s career without having to worry about household chores or even trivial matters such as deciding where to go for vacations or dinner, etc. The role of the subordinate is to trust these decisions and provide the needed support and effort to make them work. The two partners tend to work as a team and cooperate to make things smoother for the family.
One may think that it is always the man that is in control and the woman is the one who is more complying and obeying. Genders do not matter and are a lot less of a factor than dominant or submissive roles. Couples tend to focus more on acting as a smooth operation together rather than considering the gender of the higher ranking individual of their relationship. A quarter of all marriages are said to be female-dominated and have found to be more effective.
Why are the benefits of asymmetrical relationships?
1. Less stress and arguments
When the couples are working as a team, supporting each other and accepting the other’s dominant nature, it leads to them avoiding a lot of arguments. The subordinate partner trusts and accepts all decisions taken by the dominant one, leaving no room for sparking arguments and fights. This also helps eliminate stress between the spouses built up due to poor relations between them. If neither of the parties is submissive, they will have continuous argument possibly over the same thing that would eventually take a toll on their relationship.
When the sole outcome of dominant and subordinate partners in a relationship is stability and ensuring matters run smoothly, dominance and subordination is the best choice and should be distinct from the start of the relationship. The partners choose to cooperate over all matters and face challenges together, developing mutual love and understanding which would eventually lead their relationship to happiness and success.
3. More children
Couples with one partner being a dominant and the other submissive, studies have found such couples to have more children than couples where both partners are dominant. This is largely because women are aroused by submissive men. Secondly, such couples, irrespective of the gender, tend to have increased cooperation and understanding as well as reduced conflicts that help them invest more energy into the upbringing of their children.
4. No competition
With both partners of a similar rank, there are greater chances for competition among them. They may always be fighting for increased power and control which may lead to fights and rivalry between the two. However, in hierarchy disparity, there are no chances for the dominant partner to feel threatened because the other one is always subdued.
The success of an asymmetrical relationship is largely depended upon the style of dominance used by the alpha personality. The dominant must ensure that they do not make use of aggression and abuse and instead be respectful and tolerant so that things will run smoothly.