Love vs Lust: 5 Ways to Tell the Difference

What is lust vs love?

Understanding the difference between love vs lust can be quite tricky. Especially because lust is the natural and first phase of most romantic relationships and can last up to two years (at least that’s what the experts have to say). It’s the first phase of ‘love’ but it doesn’t always often develop into a loving romantic relationship. 

However, when you are in a relationship and if you don’t realize what the difference between love and lust is, it can be difficult to tell whether the relationship has the potential to last and also how and why your relationship (or sex life for that matter) might appear to change as you progress from lust to love. 

Here are some of the ways that you can tell the difference between lust vs. love.

1. Love vs Lust- The feeling

The feelings associated with real love vs lust are very different. Love is an intense feeling of care and affection that you feel for another person. It’s so intense that a person who experiences love often forms a secure emotional attachment to the person they love. 

Lust is more of a raw sexual desire and a pull between each other which is often based on physical attraction. This can either fizzle out or turn into love.

Love usually occurs as a couple starts to discover each other’s personality, and develop trust and understanding in each other. This is the difference between lust and love.

2. Lust vs Love- Over time

Most people will generally say that they understand that love takes time to grow (unless they advocate love at first sight). But the same people would probably understand that lust can happen immediately too.

The common mistake people make in this phase though is in expecting to experience lust immediately and ruling out potential partners who could turn into real love because they don’t immediately feel the lust.

Sometimes it’s worth giving somebody a chance even if you don’t feel lust immediately so that you can see if it has the potential to develop. 

Another common mistake made at this stage is that a couple might experience lust fast and jump all in, expecting this lust to turn into love only for things to fizzle out fast too. The saying ‘easy come easy go’ probably applies here.

At this stage, it’s still worth checking out the people with the potential to see if lust can grow. 

It’s also necessary to stay grounded if you are feeling intense lust so that you can give yourself a chance to decide if love is going to have a chance to grow.

If that’s what you want.  

Over time, the lust will start to calm down and instead will be replaced with a deeper sense of love. It’s at this point that some couples might not understand why the relationship is not so sexually passionate anymore and is also the time where effort might need to be made to keep your sex life fun and exciting. 

3. True Love vs Lust- The time you spend together

When you are in the lust stage of a relationship, you’ll probably spend more time enjoying sex rather than spending time investing in a deep emotional conversation. 

As time moves on, however, and as you start to fall in love, you’ll begin to find that you spend as much time learning about each other and discussing your emotional commitment toward each other.

4. Love vs Lust – Future commitment

In the lust stage of your relationship, even though you might be considering whether you want to be with the person you are with, in the future. You may not have any immediate desire for commitment.

But when you reach the love stage, you’ll be invested and committed emotionally and physically.

You’ll want to plan for your future together, and want to continue to learn more about your partner. If you don’t develop this desire – you probably don’t want to turn this particular relationship into a loving one! 

When it comes to love vs lust, you want to think about your future together in love, but in lust that might not be the priority.

5. Love vs Lust- The relationship

If you are in a stage of lust, you may be lovers, but you may not necessarily be friends. Although you may be developing your relationship into friends.

If you are in love you will be friends too. You probably won’t stop thinking about your partner and will want to know as much as you can about them. 

In a relationship that transitions from the lust to the love stage you may start out not being friends, but over time you’ll develop deeper feelings and a stronger bond between you both. In love vs lust, there is always friendship involved in love, but not necessarily in lust.

Lust or love – An incredible journey

Some relationships will make it to the love stage, while others were never destined to get there. Lust or love, either way, there will be an incredible journey of self-discovery waiting for you, and one day the right relationship will turn from lust into true love. 

By now the difference between love versus lust would be clear to you. Now you can make out where your relationship actually stands.