Marital Infidelity Signs: How to Know Your Partner Is Cheating
Do you suspect your partner of having an extramarital affair?
But you are unsure what to do now?
In this article you will learn about some of the most common marital infidelity signs. If you know these signs you can be on the lookout for them.
Perhaps you have already noticed some strange behavior in the past months. People are good at noticing things that are odd. We don’t mind common things or normal things. But uncommon behavior stands out. We notice it in an instant. Our gut tells us something is wrong.
Now you do no longer need to guess. With these marital infidelity signs you can be sure that something is going on.
Marital infidelity signs: What you should know
First things first, before you make any accusation towards your spouse be 100% sure of yourself. If your partner really has an extramarital affair that would be low and painful. But that is for now just an if-scenario. As long as you are not completely sure your spouse has an affair you should tread very carefully. What if you say certain things that you can never take back? What if your spouse does not have an affair and is not even considering cheating on you?
Communication works both ways. You can undermine trust by what you say, of course the same is true for your partner.
Needless to say I don’t want to discourage you from communicating with your partner. As long as you are open, honest and transparent. You can never force someone to do the same, but you can at least lead by example.
Words of caution
Before we take a closer look at the marital infidelity signs it is good that you keep these two rules in mind:
Rule #1 – Your partner could show all these signs and nót have an affair
Rule #2 – Your partner could show none of these signs and have an affair
There is no sure way to know if your partner is cheating. The behavior as mentioned below could be an indication, but something else could be going on as well. You simply can’t be sure just yet.
One thing is for sure, the signs that are mentioned below are bad. If you notice these signs in your relationship it is time to work on improving your relationship. Regardless of whether or not you want to improve it because you might suspect your spouse is going to cheat otherwise.
The 10 signs of marital infidelity
These are some of the signs that cheating partners leave. But, as mentioned before, you cannot be sure that your partner is really cheating on you based on these signs. Something else could be going on. Whatever it is, it’s time to work on your relationship, get some help and make improvements.
1. A sudden lack of interest in you
A sure sign that something is not going as it should be: your partner has a sudden lack of interest in you. It’s not just that you don’t get any compliments about how you look, but your partner also doesn’t ask how your day was and so on. There is just no more general interest in you.
This peculiar behavior should be watched closely.
2. Sudden communication rough spots
Every relationship has ups and downs. Sometimes, during those rough spots, communication is hard or near impossible. Perhaps it is because of men, who don’t like to talk about emotions and can have a hard time opening up. Perhaps it is something else.
Whatever it is, make sure you get through it together. Try and lead by example. Be open, honest and transparent. Give your spouse some time and room to communicate. Communicate with the goal of listening, not of telling your side of the story. Understand first, then be understood.
3. Your spouse no longer wants to do activities together with you
Couples that play together, stay together.
It’s true.
What if your spouse no longer wants to have fun together. No more date nights. No more fun and silly activities together. Perhaps all you do is hang in front of the TV with a bag of chips in between?
This is a sign that something is going on in your relationship. It might be that stress is taking its toll, or it could be that your partner is interested in someone else. Whatever the case, it’s time to get to work and figure it out.
4. No more “I love you”
You pack your lunch for this afternoon and with a swift movement you kiss your partner on the mouth and say goodbye. You are the first – and only one – to say “I love you. See you tonight!” Your spouse simply responds with “See you tonight!”
What is wrong in this scenario?
It seems like this can happen. And it can. Your spouse can honestly forget to say “I love you”. It is not very thoughtful of your partner. But what if this happens most of the time?
If your spouse has not said “I love you” in quite some time then something seems off.
5. Acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her
Is your spouse suddenly acting all guilty when you do something for him or her?
That’s quite odd, isn’t it?
Some spouses have no problem with infidelity. They can cheat on their spouses with no regrets at first, but once the other spouse does something kind the guilt starts creeping in.
Do not jump to conclusions just yet. It might also be that your spouse hasn’t been very thoughtful or kind to you lately and simply feels guilty about that.
Whatever the case, do keep an eye out for this behavior and talk about it.
6. Your sex life is basically non-existent
Let’s be honest: a healthy sex life is part of any good relationship.
A relationship with few steamy nights might work for some time, but eventually you or your spouse wants to have sex more often. If you or your spouse’s needs are unmet, you will go someplace else to get what you want.
How come that your sex life has become so dull or non-existent in the first place? Is it because your partner lost interest in sex? Or because your partner lost interest in you?
7. Your spouse doesn’t make eye contact
If your spouse doesn’t make eye contact as often anymore it could be a sign that he or she rejects any form of emotional vulnerability. People sometimes feel as if you can read their minds when you look deep into their eyes.
That does not seem to be true.
However what is true is that a spouse who keeps looking away when you make eye contact seems to be hiding something. Is it a well-hidden secret affair?
8. Your partner has become unloving or cruel even
As soon as your spouse has lost interest in you he or she can become unloving. You notice this verbally at first. Your spouse might even go so far as being cruel. Examples are that your spouse makes fun of you when family or friends are around.
This is a bad sign in any relationship. Try to talk about it, openly and honestly.
9. Acute new energy or the opposite, complete boredom
When your spouse is thinking about cheating on you he or she probably thinks his or her own life has become quite boring. The job and hobbies of your spouse are no longer of interest to him or her.
Instead he has set his eyes on new, exciting activities. These new activities can be anything, from going clubbing again to riding motorcycles. It happens with both men and women: they seek thrills and danger when they need to escape from something.
Be on the lookout for new interests that you have never heard of before.
10. Extra flirtatious with the opposite sex
A spouse that is thinking about cheating or already cheating can be extra flirtatious with members of the opposite sex.
When your spouse suddenly becomes a comedian when attractive women or men are nearby, it’s time to keep a close eye.
Man and woman with low self-esteem are extremely vulnerable for the approval of others. Laughing because of a joke is one form of approval that seems innocent, but can lead to bigger problems.
If you notice any or all of the above marital infidelity signs it’s not a guarantee that your spouse is indeed cheating on you. These are simply some of the most common signs when spouses are thinking about cheating or already cheating. It is up to you to discover what is really going on with your spouse. Be open, thoughtful and helpful to improve your relationship.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
