You probably already know this very well, we cannot be in a happy marriage if we don’t love or take good care of ourselves.
Lack of self care inadvertently leads to the bumpy road of a bad, unhappy marriage.
This is, of course, easier said and done, especially for the ones who didn’t have the luck to grow up in a loving, caring environment.
Unfortunately, marriage isn’t about marrying the right person, regardless of what many people may think, so if you don’t love, respect and accept yourself fully before getting involved in a relationship with someone, it is likely that you won’t be happy with that person.
Even though choosing to date andmarry a person that is highly compatible with you can be a great supportive factor for the success of your marriage, your marital happiness depends less on marrying the right person and more on doing the right things with that person.
If your current marital situation isn’t satisfying but you still feel the desire to stay with your partner, then this shift from “are they the right person?” to “what can we do to make things right?” can be a solid start for overcoming the feeling of misery that you are currently experiencing.
Luckily it doesn’t always take that both partners actively work on “marriage recovery” in order for the couple to become happier, for some parts even individual effort can make a great difference.
To make things right in a struggling marriage the best starting point is “the inner work” with yourself.
Taking care of yourself by following self care tips will help you find an answer to the question, what to do when you are not happy in your marriage.
This is best achieved through proper self-care and intentions of cultivating self-love and acceptance.
So, embrace the self care strategies that are meant to strengthen your resolve and help you thrive.
Once you are able to live a happier and fuller life as an individual within a marriage, your unhappy partner will directly benefit from your well-being and your relationship will begin to improve.
Here is what you can do to make things better when not happy in marriage.
1. Be more gentle with yourself
With our partners, we work in a so-called “response pattern”, this means that the way we communicate and approach them influences the way they respond to us.
How we communicate with others has a lot to do with our “inner, self-talk”.
The harsher and more judgmental we are towards ourselves, it is more likely that we will “stimulate” anaggressive or passive response from our spouse.
We must cultivate kindness and gentleness when talking to ourselves, by doing so we will directly create more space for love and acceptance in our marriage. That’s also how to practice self care when you are unhappily married.
2. Take time to reflect
A simple self-care practice that you can try already is to take a moment (also a pen and some paper) and noting down some about important aspects of your marriage.
You can ask yourself questions and highlight what is currently working in your marriage, what are you doing that isn’t working in your marriage and what can you do differently to flip the loveless marriage into a healthy one?
When writing down the answers make sure that you are open, vulnerable and honest.
Don’t rush during this reflection and avoid using your phone, social media or engaging in other types of distractions.
3. Give yourself some “you” time
It is easy to slip into the habit of trying to please your partner and by doing so neglect yourself and your own needs.
Even though marriage is about giving to our loved ones, it mustn’t be only that, and that ‘s why trying out self care ideas is crucial to escape a miserable marriage.
Your needs are important, and you are important, so dedicating some time and even some money, in order to give to yourself a chance to become healthy, is an essential part of turning your unhappy marriage into a happy one.
Also watch this expert video on how to fall in love again with your spouse:
Self-sacrifice, generosity, the ability to forgive, care and commitment are all needed for you to succeed in returning the romantic moments in your unhappy marriage.
When you are unhappy in your marriage, it is not uncommon to go looking up for unhappy marriage advice or how to survive in an unhappy marriage.
No one is saying that it will be simple and easy to explore self care ideas or adopt self care practices, but if you succeed in reconnecting with your spouse and finding your true self, it will totally be worth it.
By taking care of yourself starting today, you will well be on your path on how to be happy in an unhappy marriage, advancing your marriage and fueling yourself.
Take the leap of faith to leave an unhappy marriage far behind.
While prioritizing self care can turn a good marriage into a great one, it also has the potential to repair a bad marriage, and start anew.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.