3 Tips on How to Avoid a Divorce|Marriage.com

3 Tips on How to Avoid a Divorce

How to stop a divorce

Although there are rarely guarantees in life, love, and marriage, many of us would hope to prevent divorce from happening. Couples often find themselves in crises that make divorce inevitable and may wish they had taken measures to prevent these crises in advance.

Here are some guidelines on things you can do as a way to possibly prevent divorce from happening:

Get a joint credit card

Conflict around money has been reported as a major cause of divorce among couples. However, those who have joint finances have reported feeling supported, trusted, and united within the marriage and with their partners.  

Certified financial planner Jeff Motske, author of “The Couple’s Guide to Financial Compatibility: Avoid Fights About Spending and Saving & Build a Happy and Secure Future Together,” writes ‘There’s no I in the team. Remember the focus here is on you as a couple: you’re a team, a unit working to build a better life together. When you have your own credit card it’s that much easier to hide purchases, and, ultimately, incur debt. For this reason I advise against it. Both names should be on all cards, and both of you should review the monthly statements”

Surprise date nights

Research shows that many satisfied couples report appreciation when their spouses take the time to surprise them. Designating a regular date-night can be an excellent habit for married couples to get into. In addition, who says you can’t surprise your partner with a date night, as well?  Cooking a meal and lighting candles can be an example of an unplanned, yet wonderful surprise for your partner to come home to.

Set ground-rules

Whether you set rules around money, household chores, or even just make pacts such as vowing never to go to bed angry, ground-rules can be useful to couples.  Many couples have unspoken conflict between them that could possibly be eliminated by taking the time to create a simple rule on the subject. Having negotiated and established rules can lead to each partner feeling safe and loved.  Knowing that certain rules are in place can alleviate anxiety because each of you does not have to worry as much over specific life issues that may arise.  

Taking the time to actually create rules and arrangements that you’re both comfortable with can establish the boundaries that make each of you feel like your needs are met and can also increase your feelings of trust with your partner. Creating the highest possible trust and comfort levels between you two can be a great way to try to prevent excessive conflict and, possibly, divorce.

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Denise Limongello
Individual, Family and Group Psychotherapis, LMSW
Denise Limongello, LMSW, is a passionate and dedicated therapist who obtained her
graduate degree from Columbia University, School of Social Work. She is also a
graduate of Miss Porter’s School and Tulane University. Denise began her clinical career at The Renfrew Center of New York and has since then worked across all levels of care including Inpatient, Partial Hospitalization, Intensive Outpatient, and Outpatient, Private Practice settings.

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