If your marriage is steering its way towards divorce, the last thing you want to do is give up without careful consideration. The chances are that questions like, “Can my marriage be saved” keep reverberating in your head, and you struggle to find the best way to save your marriage.
Most people who are in a troubled marriage want to make every effort possible to save the relationship. Once divorce happens, it’s done. You can’t go back. So you want to say with complete confidence, “I did everything I could.”
Well, have you done everything possible yet?
When there is no love lost between you and your spouse, and yet you want to make a fresh start, you may want to look at ways of learning how to save your marriage from divorce. This may be the time to seek advice to save a marriage.
By working in the right direction and making corrective steps, you will be able to make headway in resurrecting your broken relationship with your spouse and learning how to avoid divorce and save your marriage.
Saving marriages that are withering because of the lack of nurturing, love, and commitment is an uphill task, and there is no definite answer or a quick fix to save a marriage from divorce.
It takes patience and a continuous openness to evolve with your partner. Sometimes it may take a few months to feel more positive about your marriage, but sometimes it can take a year or two. So, don’t give up hope just yet.
A definite timeline is not something you can rely on; you must rely on having the right attitude.
Turning the tide undoubtedly takes a lot of effort. But it is not impossible. You can find ways of saving a marriage from divorce if you genuinely wish to do so.
If you show a willingness to change and a determined stance, there are some effective ways that can save a marriage from divorce.
Even if you think your marriage is beyond repair and you are wondering if saving a marriage from divorce is a fruitful pursuit, these tips on how to save a marriage can salvage your relationship with your partner and enable a more collaborative marriage partnership.
If your marriage has a lot of troubles, all you need are tips on saving a failing marriage. In this article, check out some excellent ways on how to prevent divorce and how to save your marriage from divorce:
1. Try to relax
It’s probably the last thing you want to do, but it’s crucial right now if you wish to start with how to save your marriage from divorce.
Don’t do anything rash out of anger or fear, like run to an attorney, tell all your friends, or go out on a drinking binge. Just slow down and think a little.
This first tip on how to save your marriage from divorce also includes being patient with yourself and your spouse.
2. Discuss what’s wrong
When divorce is imminent, stopping it requires some effort.
Partners must consistently work on the relationship to get it back to a place where you can consistently improve. To reach that point, spouses must overcome any hostility.
With couples counseling, spouses can have these often tricky discussions in a productive, non-accusatory manner. Remember, when divorce is imminent, having the right attitude to solve issues can help save your marriage.
3. Change what needs to be changed
When the word “divorce” enters the picture, it is usually because one or both members of the married couple are unhappy with something.
The best remedy is to change something you are doing or aren’t doing. Get up and show your spouse you can do what it takes to make your marriage better.
How to save your marriage from divorce? Take your spouse on that trip they have always wanted. Fix that garage door that needs fixing.
Tips to save a marriage include telling them that you love them daily.
Perhaps your spouse has done something to jeopardize the marriage, or perhaps it’s just a general dissatisfaction that has caused things to become rocky in your relationship.
Either way, don’t point fingers. Nothing makes people more defensive than focusing on the negative. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your spouse.
Please make a list and keep it close by. When negative thoughts about your marriage creep in, review your list.
6. Work towards forgiveness
One of the best ways to save your marriage from divorce is to allow forgiveness. It is the ultimate form of love and is a vehicle for change. Forgiveness can be hard, and sometimes it will feel impossible. But start the process. Think about it and ask for help when necessary.
God forgives all, so why can’t you? Take that next step.
Forgive wholeheartedly, even if your spouse hasn’t changed yet.
The weight it will take off your shoulders will allow you to move forward positively and may help your spouse change in ways you never thought possible.
Couples on the brink of divorce typically aren’t spending much time together in the bedroom. When a husband and wife aren’t feeling close, or one has hurt the other, it can be hard to even want to have sex. But sometimes, that physical bond can also realign emotional bonds.
Try to look at intimacy in a new way—a way to save your marriage.
Take things slow and talk about what you need right now. Try to connect in new ways.
When relationships cool off, we feel vulnerable because we no longer “know” this other person; each of us hides behind our defenses.
But the more vulnerable we feel, the more we back off emotionally – which cools the relationship further.
To know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, we must stop attacking as a defensive maneuver and love ourselves enough to be ready to be vulnerable, i.e., be real to one another.
Speaking from the heart can re-open the door and bring down defenses.
Check out this video to learn more about the importance of being vulnerable:
14. Remember what brought you together
Before deciding to divorce, couples are encouraged to think about why they first became committed to each other.
One of the ways to save a marriage from divorce is to recall the feelings that once brought you together.
Imagine the wonderful person whom you initially loved and adored. If you can begin to access the positive emotions and memories that you had for your partner, you will have the opportunity to reevaluate your decision to divorce.
15. Respect your partner’s decisions
If your spouse wants the divorce (more), you should accept this. It won’t help to be in denial. And once you’ve accepted this, it is crucial to get to the root of how they came to this decision.
So, it would be best if you also validated your partner’s emotions and perception of your marriage.
Once you accept that you’re both entitled to your own reactions, you should also take responsibility for your part in the problem. Regardless of the perceived hurt, your spouse might have caused you, rest assured that they have a rationale behind their actions.
And. if you want to save your marriage, you need to fully accept their perspective, no matter how difficult it might be for you.
One of the tips to save marriage from divorce is to learn to accept our partners for who they are and not constantly try to change who they can be the key to saving the relationship. Throughout our lives, we change, we grow, we evolve. This is inevitable.
However, this can be threatening to the status quo of the relationship. We hold on too tightly to our partners, a certain aspect of our relationship, a power dynamic, and any shift is scary.
If we react and block our partner from growing over time, this can cripple and handicap our partner and the relationship, ultimately leading to divorce.
Try to recognize and see our partner as a friend, someone we want the best for, someone we want to see happy and successful. And recognize that by giving our partners wings, we will also fly can be the most liberating experience.
The causes of divorce are many. These include infidelity, abuse, addiction, neglect, and abandonment, to name a few.
Since there are multiple ways a marriage can fall apart, it may take many approaches to work on your marriage and stop a divorce. These approaches could include therapy, marriage counseling, separation, forgiveness, retreats, etc.
Now, how to stop divorce and save your marriage?
To save your marriage and avoid divorce, partners should be honest about the trouble in the marriage and seek divorce advice.
Following these tips will stop couples from getting a divorce or delaying divorce to save marriage over trivial marital issues and help them resolve their conflicts constructively.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.