How to Be a Better Spouse
So many people dream of a great married life. Let’s say; astounding chemistry, crazy love, and life with the type of spouse they’ve always dreamt about. Beautiful!
It’s a beautiful thing to feel that way. It’s super sweet to anticipate those soul-awing things. But how many people prepare for love? Or is it enough to expect all that from the other person and count oneself out?
Well, that doesn’t sound balanced. That may be very biased and can lead to several relationship issues in the long run.
Preparation for a great married life is something one should begin way before they even start to have feelings for someone.
And in the following paragraphs, you’re going to be learning several ways to be a better spouse and learn what’s required to make you do great as someone’s future spouse.
1. Have the right mindset
Wondering what makes a good spouse?
It all starts in the mind. The way you think determines what type of spouse you’d eventually become. It’s the foundation, and it gives you a 50-percent head start.
I know a young man who believes that all women are greedy who want to sap you of all the cash you have. Well, such a guy has already set himself up for misery. And I wouldn’t advise any woman to settle with such a guy until his mentality is right.
Some women think they have nothing to offer in a marriage than bear kids and watch them grow.
That also sounds archaic and doesn’t strike a chord in the 21st-century scheme of things. In the end, having a wise, open mindset in relationships is paramount.
As someone who plans to have a great marriage, one must be ready to learn, unlearn, and relearn many things. It sharpens your mind and prepares you to become a better spouse.
2. Surround yourself with the right people
More often than not, a person’s success depends on the people they associate with.
If you see yourself becoming that awesome husband or wife to someone, you must be ready to sieve your closest cycle and only retain those who expect or have achieved the same goal you seek.
It may sound hard, but it’s worth it.
There are people you don’t need around you if you desire to be a better spouse.
For instance: people that have no respect for the opposite sex; people that scorn faithfulness in marriage; people that are irresponsible and prefer being 50 and still getting free sex to getting married; and misogynistic and misandristic folks.
They aren’t outright being called bad people. But, you have a goal. That’s right! As far as your goal is concerned, they will make you lag or even cause you to fail.
Who, then, are the right people to keep around you? They are those who support you to reach your marriage goal either by word or action- friends who want to become better spouses. Very Simple!
As we’ve said before, married people who have the same results you seek can also constitute your company.
Talk with them, ask questions. Be unreserved with them about your plans and aspirations, and put them in a position to always guide you with good advice on being a better spouse.
Work on yourself, invest in books and seminars that will make a badass husband/wife out of you and set for the ride.
Also watch: Who you spend time with is who you become.
3. Begin with the little things
As a potential awesome husband/ wife, you must learn to fragment your “spouse goals” into little pieces of personality and work activities.
Keeping a massive goal before you can be overwhelming. So, why not break it down into achievable goals.
All those fractional goals sum up to make you that badass spouse on your mind.
You’d need to set financial, relationship, fitness, hygiene, and other character goals. Like the guy that’s given to hot temper, you can say, “I will not yell at people for the next month.”
Or, like the lady with a protruding belly that’s not from pregnancy, you can say, “I will hit the gym, lose these fats, and become super sexy.”
Everybody has different things they want to achieve that could be great pluses in their future marriage. It’s good to sit down, ponder them deeply, and set appropriate small goals.
They could be on finance, personal hygiene, character, etc. Remember that the little things in relationships constitute the big picture and that success in them will equal success as an excellent spouse.
What are you waiting for? Let’s get started already, shall we?
4. Launch into the deep – Get into actual practice
Real-life situations require real-life practice. As a single young person, one of the things that will help you gain experience is interacting with the opposite sex.
It doesn’t necessarily mean having sex with them.
I’d suggest deep but platonic friendships. Go out with them. Talk with them. Let them talk to and share. Try and see through them – to understand how things work in their world.
Eventually, you’re going to get into their world in marriage, so studying them and adapting to their most general character traits will be a million-dollar experience.
A man once said to young women, “Ladies, you must know that your future husband is not your younger brother.” Very true! That man was correct.
There will be a big difference between how a lady bosses her younger brother and how she will relate with her future husband. A lady learns things like that by relating with guys.
The same goes for guys too. There are a zillion things a guy can learn from ladies he’s good friends with that will eventually make him a better spouse.
Aside from learning from the opposite sex, there is also another part of this practice. It’s the part where you have to be the one doing.
In other words, you aren’t just sticking around the opposite sex to learn things about them; you are doing things that make them feel great. By doing so, you develop yourself for a great future while they catch the fun.
It can be (for guys), things like helping them with their issues, taking them out on dates, and probably surprising them with gifts.
Some of these things may sound feminine, but who cares? You’d eventually need to be doing some or all of them as a married guy, so starting now is wise.
Being caring is not limited to ladies, but many consider it a typical female character trait.
Asking questions that convey care to the opposite sex and speaking words that appeal to their well-being are things every person should learn.
Ladies could also practice being supportive. As a lady, you can learn to lend a helping hand to male friends, being available for them to confide in you, and advising them.
For those who’d want to have kids, it will do them great to practice babysitting. Funny? Yes, it may be a laughable idea, but it will pay off in the long run both for ladies and guys.
It’s very easy! You can visit one of your many relations with babies and offer to take care of them when they need help.
There’s a host of other things to practice that this article can’t exhaust. That’s right! So, every single person must write down the things they need to practice in order to become great spouses.
All these warm-up practices will eventually contribute to your becoming a better spouse. Are you ready to practice?
5. Prepare to meet an imperfect person
You should believe that your future spouse is imperfect, just as you are. No matter how much you’ve worked on yourself, you must create a space for their imperfection.
It’s funny how you may not discover everything about your future spouse while dating.
Research suggests that impatient individuals are more likely to experience divorce. So, keep an open mind. Learn to be patient because your future partner could probably come behind in some aspects of personality or character.
You must be prepared to become a persevering teacher if your marriage must be sweet. We grow with time; we get better with time. Make up your mind in advance to deal reasonably with the failings of your partner, if any.
Many of the sweetest marriages in the world have two key ingredients that garnish them- patience and good communication.
Do you think you’ve mastered patience and good communication? If yes, congratulations, but if no, then there’s still time to practice.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.