Proverbs 12:15 and 24:6 are just two of the verses in the Bible that speak about the importance of seeking wise counsel. Yet unfortunately, even within the Church, there are couples who only see marriage counseling as a last resort.
The reality is, no matter how great your marriage may be, it’s still a good idea to see a counselor at least once a year. That way, you can get a handle on issues before they may arise and also receive tips on how to make your union even better.
Marriage counselors are extremely qualified in walking you through the marriage counseling process. But if you’ve never seen one before, you might wonder what questions you should ask them in order to either get or keep your marriage on track and to get the most out of each session. In order to receive some marriage counseling benefits, even as soon as your first meeting, here are five questions to present to your counselor:
1) Do you have any tests that we can take?
Yeah, no one really “tap dances” at the thought of taking tests. But if you make the time to do so, it can help you to better understand you and your spouse’s personality types and ways of thinking. And by seeing a Christian marriage counselor, you may even be able to take a spiritual gifts test. This can be helpful because with this information, you and your spouse can better understand how to serve in your church and also how to use your gifts within your marriage too.
2) What can we do to improve your communication skills?
Aside from financial and intimacy issues, one of the leading causes of divorce is poor communication. Usually it stems from not listening to one another or from keeping feelings locked up which can eventually lead to bitterness and resentment. It’s amazing how many people think that they are awesome communicators when the reality is they could stand to improve in this area. A good counselor can definitely show you how.
3) How can we get on the same page when it comes to intimacy?
When you’re looking for marriage counseling advice, don’t be afraid to ask about how to improve your intimacy. Being that sex is a very important part of a marital relationship, it’s always a good idea to make the topic a priority during marriage counseling sessions. You can figure out how to create time for one another, how to spice up the relationship and also how to meet one another’s needs in that area.
4) Can you help us to create a one, two and five-year plan?
“Fail to plan, plan to fail.” We all know that’s how the saying goes and yet unfortunately, there are a lot of couples who do not intentionally make a plan for their marriage. In thinking about the goals that you want to achieve, the places that you want to visit, the amount of money that you want to save (and what you want to do with it), all of these things can help you to create more stability. Having solid plans always leads to more harmony in your relationship.
5) Do you have suggestions for increasing our spiritual life?
If you are a Christian, it’s a good idea to see Christian counselor simply because they have similar values as you do. As a result, a lot of their solutions will be biblically-based. Being that marriage is considered to be a faith-based union, you’re going to need suggestions on things that you and your spouse can do in order to grow together spiritually. From having more devotional time together to creating a marriage prayer journal to perhaps even starting some type of ministry that benefits other couples you know, a Christian marriage counselor can help you to explore some of the ways to make your spiritual foundation stronger. And that’s always beneficial when it comes to having a happy and healthy marital union.
So make sure to ask these Christian marriage counseling questions. The answers that you receive will be super beneficial to your marriage—starting now and until death parts you.