17 Things to Do When a Guy Ignores You After an Argument

No matter how much you love your man, there will be times when you disagree with him on some issues. This does not change your love for him, but disagreements in relationships are a tough reality that exists because both partners have different mindsets and value systems.

According to Kristen Failla, LMFT, “An honest, nonconfrontational response to being ignored can be a helpful place to start. If you are not provided clarity, leaning into the space can be a form of respect both towards them and yourself.”

Sometimes, what happens after an argument can be unpleasant for both parties. What do you do when a guy ignores you after an argument? There will be different thoughts running through your mind, and it might be challenging to conclude.

In this article, we will help you figure out various possible reasons for questions such as “Why is he ignoring me?” Read on!

What does it mean when a guy ignores you after an argument?

Not everyone talks much after an argument because silence can be their coping mechanism. It is important to find out if it is your partner’s behavior and be patient with them. It might be challenging to deal with, especially if it is a long-distance relationship.

However, if you know that it is not their nature, you need to understand that he needs time to calm down because the emotional trauma might still be brewing in his mind.

Peter White, in his book titled Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings, reveals various insights that allow women to know what is going on in their man’s head when he ignores them.

Why does he ignore you after having an argument?

As mentioned earlier, an argument is bound to happen in a relationship. During this time, you and your partner might act distasteful towards each other and settle up later.

However, when he stops talking to you and takes a long time to settle, you need to find out the main issue. You need to understand that he is ignoring you for a particular reason, and you should be patient to communicate and resolve the problem with him.

13 reasons for a guy to ignore you after an argument

Did you recently argue with your guy, and you ask why he is ignoring you after a fight? 

Kristen Failla, LMFT, highlights that “Being ignored after an argument is particularly challenging because it disallows, whether permanently or temporarily, communication that could lead to necessary clarity, certainty, or closure.”

When you understand the reason for his behavior, you will better handle the situation and save your relationship.

Here are some possible reasons why your guy is ignoring you:

1. He has other commitments

Your guy might be ignoring you after your recent fallout with him because he has other commitments to attend to.

Even though he knows that attending to the issue in his relationship is important, those commitments will give him the needed space to cool off and think properly.

It would be best if you were patient with him without bringing up assumptions that might end up aggravating the issue.

2. He needs time to assess the situation

After every major disagreement, you will be angry with each other, and he might decide to keep his distance by ignoring you. There is a thing called the ‘3-day rule after argument’ that many people follow.

Your man might think it is better to ignore you so that he can carefully assess the situation and come up with a solution that favors both parties.

It might take some time for him to evaluate the situation, so you have to be patient with him.

3. He is pained by what you did

There is a chance that your role during the disagreement is hurting your man, and he has decided to ignore you. The possible reason for his decision in this context is that he hopes that ignoring you will make the hurt go away.

If you know you did some hurtful acts, and it is why he is ignoring you, you can warm up to him and apologize.

4. He is mad at you

It’s possible that while you’re stuck with ‘Why is he ignoring me after a fight?’, he is holding a grudge against you.

One of the common reasons guys ignore their women is that they are mad at them, especially after having a hot argument.

In this case, the last thing he wants might be to keep to himself till he is over the matter. You can quickly tell from his disposition towards you, and if you notice he is mad at you, strive to make him calm down.

5. His actions pain him

Your guy might be pained by the role played in the disagreement, and he could be feeling guilty for hurting you.

Hence, he can decide to ignore you to figure out the best way to apologize. So, when he goes silent after an argument, this is one of the possible reasons.

6. He is confused about the situation

It might be that your man is puzzled by the whole situation, and he needs time to assess the entire situation.

So, he might choose to avoid tackling the situation by avoiding you. He probably doesn’t want future confrontations, and he might be trying not to hurt you because of his ignorance.

7. He doesn’t want to make the situation worse

When he stops calling you and begins to ignore you, maybe he doesn’t want to make the waters murky.  Therefore, he has probably decided to avoid you so that both of you can calm down and converse with a cool head.

You need to consider this if you are thinking of confronting him; you can consider this possibility.

8. The disagreement might look like a bit of an issue to him

If you notice that your man is ignoring you, it could mean that the issues are trivial. Eventually, you might discover that the matter is quite silly and appreciate his actions better.

He might be doing this because he doesn’t want the both of you to fight again. Hence, don’t be surprised when he approaches you lovingly one day to make you understand why.

Here is a video that gives you more insights into what a man is thinking when he ignores you:

9. He needs a break from the relationship

It is important to note that needing a break from the relationship is not the same as quitting.

Your guy might decide to take a break for a short while to assess the situation. It would help if you were patient with him till the break is over.

10. He wants to end the relationship

It might be painful to realize this, but if you notice that he has stopped talking to you and is ignoring you, he probably wants to call it quits.

He is most likely waiting for you to pick the hint and move on with your life. If he ignores you for a long time, approach him calmly and ask him what he wants.

11. Avoiding conflict

Sometimes, guys might ignore you after an argument because they want to avoid more fighting. They hope that by staying quiet, the situation won’t get worse. 

They might need time to think and figure out how to make things better without arguing. It’s like taking a break to prevent things from getting too heated.

12. Misunderstanding

After an argument, if a guy is ignoring you, it could be because he didn’t fully understand what you were trying to say. Maybe something you said was confusing or came across differently than you meant. 

He might be thinking about what you said and trying to figure out what you really meant before talking again.

13. Testing boundaries

Sometimes, guys might ignore you to see how you’ll react. It’s like a way of testing how much you care or how much effort you’ll put in to fix things. They want to know if you’ll reach out first or show that you’re serious about the relationship.  It’s a bit like checking to see if you value the relationship as much as they do.

Dr. Antonio Borrello, a psychologist and relationship coach, sheds more light on what a man might be thinking when he ignores you. Watch here:

17 things to do if a guy ignores you after an argument

After arguing with your guy, you need to avoid complicating issues by trying to pick up a fight; you should be after conflict resolution. When a guy ignores you after an argument, be careful of your actions because it determines how fast the issue will be resolved.

If you are wondering what to do when he ignores you after a fight, here is a list of some actions you can take.

1. Assess the situation

If you just argued with your guy, you need to assess the situation by first identifying the root cause and other elements of the fallouts. Try to have an idea about how guys feel after an argument.

You can discuss with a trusted friend to help you spot the aspects or patterns you might have skipped.

2. Avoid assuming and jumping to conclusions

Assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge; if you keep assuming and making conclusions from these, it can affect your relationship.

If you notice your guy is ignoring you, it is important to understand why before you start accusing him.

3. Give him the benefit of the doubt

You need to ask yourself if your partner repeatedly ignores you after an argument or a conversation.

If he does not, there may be something else bothering him. But there is also a chance that he is trying to wrap his head around the issue.

4. Have a conversation with him

When you disagree with your guy, and he ignores you, one thing that should be on your mind is discussing it with him.

It would help if you were strategic about this action by first observing his efforts for a while before initiating the conversation. However, be careful not to start the blame game when conversing.

5. Try to acknowledge your faults in the argument

When there is a disagreement in a relationship, both parties have their part to play. So, you can approach your guy and let him know you are aware of your faults in the fallouts.

When you do this, it might spur him to do the same thing and resolve the issue.

6. Prepare his favorite meal

If your guy is ignoring you, you can get his attention by preparing his favorite meal.

With this, it might be difficult for him to ignore you because he will feel happy after the meal, and he will be ready to discuss.

When your guy ignores you after arguing, and it isn’t easy to communicate with him, you can share with his trusted pals and relatives.

If he has ignored you for a long while, there is a chance that his close friends and relatives might have noticed.

10. Reach out to a professional relationship counselor

A professional relationship counselor would have the knack for detecting hidden cracks in a relationship.

Hence, if you are wondering what to do when he stops calling and texting, you can contact a professional relationship counselor for help.

11. Apologize to him

If your guy ignores you, it is important to take time to check the situation, accept your faults, and apologize. He may be waiting for your apology before he starts talking to you again.

If you don’t know how to apologize, here are some words to use from Pauline Locke’s book titled ‘Heartfelt Ways to Say I’m Sorry.’  You will learn the right words to use to get forgiveness from your man. 

12. Keep yourself busy

When a man says he needs time to think after a fight and begins to ignore you, you keep yourself busy to prevent thinking.

Then, there is a chance that your man will reach out to you when he is ready to talk. So you can focus on other aspects of your life and move forward.

13. Meet up with people who love you

When a guy ignores you after an argument, seek the company of your dear ones. Even though you are in a relationship, you still need the presence and acquaintance of those who love you, especially during hard times.

For example, when you observe and ask, “Why is my boyfriend ignoring me after a fight,” you might need to gain clarity from those who love you. These people will provide you with emotional support to keep you psychologically stable and not lose your mind.

14. Use other forms of communication

If you feel your boyfriend is ignoring you, you can use other forms of communication to reach out to him.

However, before you conclude your boyfriend’s behavior, you have to be sure if their action is deliberate or not.

15. Show him how much you love him

When a guy ignores you after an argument, let him see and feel your affection.

One of the reasons why guys ignore their ladies is insecurity. An insecure guy can decide to ignore you if he feels you can leave at any time.

If you need more insights on how to resolve issues in your relationship, you can check out Paul Shaffer’s book ‘Conflict Resolution for Couples.’

This book comes with extensive insight into having a healthy relationship by resolving conflicts amicably.

16. Stay positive

When there’s no contact after arguments with your partner, you need to gather your thoughts first.

When a guy ignores you after an argument, it’s easy to feel down. But staying positive helps you keep a good attitude. Focus on the good things in your life, and remember that arguments happen in all relationships. 

By staying positive, you show that you’re strong and ready to work things out when he’s ready to talk.

17. Learn from It

When a guy ignores you after an argument, you can deduce a lesson from it even if there wasn’t any fault of yours.

Arguments can teach us valuable lessons. Take some time to think about what led to the argument and how you both reacted. Maybe there’s a better way to communicate next time, or you can learn more about each other’s triggers. 

Learning from the argument helps you both grow and handle things better in the future.

Commonly asked questions

Understanding why guys go silent and how to handle it can bring clarity to relationships. Here are simple answers to common questions about their behavior.

• Why do guys give silent treatment? 

Do you wonder why “My boyfriend ignores me for days after an argument?”

Sometimes, guys go quiet when overwhelmed by emotions. It’s their way of coping, not necessarily a healthy one. They might need time to think and cool down.

• When does a guy go quiet after an argument?

After an argument, if a guy goes quiet, he’s likely processing his feelings. He might be reflecting on what was said and trying to figure out how to move forward.

• Is it normal for men to ignore you for days after a fight?

It’s not the best way to handle things, but it can happen. Guys might need time to sort out their thoughts and emotions. However, communication is crucial to resolve the issue.

• Should I confront him about the ignoring behavior?

Gentle communication is key. Express your concern and ask if he needs space.

Kristen Failla, LMFT, adds that, “You can respect one’s need for space while also being curious about this choice at the same time. These ideas do not have to contradict one another.”

Avoid blaming; instead, show understanding. Healthy conversations are vital for resolving misunderstandings.

Because ignorance is not the solution

When a guy ignores you after an argument, it is normal to feel worried or afraid because you are not aware of the unexpected actions from his end.

Hence, it is vital to be patient with your guy and treat him with love regardless. If you decide to ignore him, too, it is disadvantageous because two wrongs cannot make a right.

When you notice it is the right time, you can start a conversation with him and find a constructive way to resolve the issue.

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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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