You are in love and engaged but how can you be sure that you are ready for the married life? Most couples are very uncertain when it comes to finally settling down. They are not sure what to expect and what to look forward to, and when things get hard, they tend to throw in the towel.
According to Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard; the celebrity “It” couple that everyone loves, the key to maintaining a long and healthy, happy bond is couples therapy before marriage. Therapy can help you in the long run and help save your marriage when problems arise. However, there are some basic tips that you must be aware of before going for couples therapy and settling down.
1. Your spouse will not complete you
As Jerry Maguire once famous line about spouse completing one another may sound incredibly romantic but is not true. You cannot expect your spouse to complete your life. In a relationship, it is important for you that you focus on yourself but don’t be selfish. Focus on yourself in a way that does not disregard your partner or harm the relationship.
Instead, focus on yourself in a way where you take care of yourself enough to be able to bring out your best side.
Happy couples need to have a balance between separateness and togetherness.
2. Don’t expect a lot from your partner
This is the cardinal rule for marriage and any other kind of friendship, the more you expect, the more heartbreak and resentment follows. It is always advised that your expectations must not reach the sky and you must keep track of them.
You probably want a lot from your spouse such as a good parent, loyal husband, passionate lover, a companion and so issues arise due to an expectation inventory.
When your expectations are not too high, it becomes easier to love each other. Resentment decreases and you two will be a happy couple. So make sure that you are mindful of the expectations you bring in your relationship.
3. You won’t always get the feeling of love
You can be with the perfect spouse in the world, they can do everything right, but there will still be days where you will feel as if you are not aligned with them. You will feel as if you are not in love.
In times like this, it is important that you remain grounded with your values.
These times will identify how you are as a couple; so instead of following the feelings that you think you are supposed to have, just sit back and relax.
This is nothing to worry about.
4. Your spouse’s family is the key
Keep track of how your spouse is with their family. Do they get along well? Were they close or were they distant? Was there a conflict between one another?
This information is very critical as most of this family stuff tends to repeat and resurface in your marriage.
When couples have the ability to talk to their partner’s without being able to judge they create a strong level of trust and mutual respect.
5. Keep track of your partner’s finances
It is important that both the spouses disclose their entire financial situation with each other and then decide the best way to manage it.
Many couples tend to have a single joint account along with their own separate bank accounts.
Make sure to do whatever works for you, discuss the financial situation in order to avoid feeling insecure or being controlled.
This area in a relationship can give birth to mistrust and issues; it is one of the reasons why most people opt for a divorce.
6. Conflict is inevitable
When in the honeymoon phase of the relationship it is hard to imagine the fact that the future holds arguments and disagreements.
But this is a fact, as time passes you may start to notice annoying things about your spouse, their nasty habits and it may become a target of fights between you two.
This is completely normal; when times like this arise try to resolve the issue instead of reminiscing about the time that has passed.
The most important thing you need to know before settling down is that positivity is incredibly important. If you are not positive, your relationship will be affected. It is important that you feel happy and radiates good energy and this will in turn help in increasing love and affection between you are your partners.
Look forward to the future with happy hopes and trust one another. This will help in increasing the bond you have and strengthen your marriage. Don’t compare yourself to others and keep your relationship healthy.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.