Despite the happy event of a pregnancy, unfortunately, marriage separation during pregnancy is all too common. But, separating during pregnancy can be heartbreaking for the spouse who is carrying the baby.
Becoming a mother is no easy task. A woman’s body has to undergo several hormonal changes that affect her mental as well as physical wellbeing.
It can get too overwhelming for a woman if she is pregnant and marriage is falling apart. And if a woman has to undergo a legal separation during pregnancy, her sufferings would be unimaginable!
But, the question still remains, why is the phenomenon of ‘marriage falling apart while pregnant’ is too common?
Couples fall into the trap of unmet expectations and emotional roller coasters that take the focus away from the impending bundle of joy, and instead onto negative issues that pop up.
Don’t let this happen to you! You can, by all means, save your relationship falling apart while pregnant, if you put your sincere effort to save your marriage.
So if you are thinking about how to avoid separation and save your marriage, don’t worry. Here are a few essential tips to help you avoid marriage separation during pregnancy.
Realize what negativity you’re bringing to the marriage
It’s always the other person’s fault—at least that’s what everyone usually thinks. It’s hard to see what negativity we are bringing to the marriage, but it’s important to do so.
Because really, it takes two to tango. What that means is, if your spouse is angry or resentful, there could be a reason.
Perhaps the wife carrying the baby is not meeting their needs or involving them in any of the fun baby stuff.
Perhaps her nagging is turning her spouse off. They are both to blame for negativity, so both people must see that.
Take care of it sooner than later, because the longer negativity seeps in, the more likely either or both may say or do something they might regret.
This can lead to hurt feelings and eventually, separation during pregnancy, which is a time when the couple should be coming together.
Open the lines of communication
When couples quit talking, especially during pregnancy, things can go south quickly.
If either or both of you are scared about the possibility of being parents but don’t talk about it, the emotions can build and manifest in different ways.
Pay attention to how the other person is acting and possibly feeling, and ask questions. Talk about your concerns. Make sure to help the other person feel comfortable talking about anything, even anxiety about the baby or pregnancy.
So, to avoid separation while pregnant, open the lines of communication so you can come together as a couple and live this phase of pregnancy happily with one accord.
Let go of unrealistic expectations
Especially for first-time parents, couples may have a skewed view of what pregnancy and having a baby is like.
The to-be mother may expect her spouse to do certain things or pay way more attention to her, perhaps even take over her household chores or know what to do when she feels nauseous.
When those expectations aren’t met, couples can feel resentment or anger. Try to be more realistic and realize that neither of you have been through this before.
Let go of unrealistic expectations and realize each marriage relationship is different, and each pregnancy is different. Make it your own—together.
Spend some time away together
Sometimes, you just need to get away from it all and focus on each other.
Being pregnant is stressful. There is so much to consider about what is happening to the woman’s body, how the baby is developing, and all the possibilities for the future.
If you focus too much on that and not each other, your marriage relationship suffers.
So plan a quick get-away so you can just be there for each other, away from work and other responsibilities. Reconnect and come back renewed and much more balanced in your lives.
Some people call this a ‘babymoon’ like a honeymoon except a getaway before a baby comes. This can be a good time to reconnect.
Both of you go to doctor visits
Sometimes couples fall apart during pregnancy because the woman carrying the baby feels lonely in the pregnancy, and her spouse feels left out of everything.
One way to avoid that and bring more joy to the nine months is for both of you to go to as many doctor visits as possible.
This helps the wife feel supported by her partner as they spend this special time together, and the partner feels involved as they also see the doctor and take part in the knowledge of how the baby is developing.
They can both ask questions and discuss concerns and what to expect during the visits as well.
Go see a marriage therapist
Because of the extra stress of pregnancy, sometimes just trying to be there more for each other isn’t enough. You might need outside help.
Sooner rather than later, go see a marriage therapist. Talk about what’s going on in the marriage and what pregnancy has added to the mix.
The counselor will help both of you sort out your feelings and understand each other better.
Talk about expectations during birth and thereafter
Birth can be a blissful time, but hurt feelings can happen easily.
Emotions are heightened, and each person may have different expectations about each other’s roles. When those are not met, the birthday may not be very positive.
So definitely talk about what you expect, and what each of you wants, to get out of it. Separating from a husband while pregnant can scar you for life, so make the best possible effort to keep your relationship going.
Also continue to talk about your thoughts on parenting, and how each of you will help contribute to caring for your newborn.
Becoming parents is an exciting prospect, but pregnancy definitely changes a marriage relationship. Make sure that during these nine months to come together as much as possible, instead of apart.
By being there for each other and making sure to focus on the marriage while anticipating your new baby, you can avoid separation during pregnancy.