Most men who have come out of a divorce wish that they would have done things differently. At some point in the relationship, they realized that they made mistakes and they would fix them if they were given the opportunity. Divorce is never easy on anyone, and for men that have lived through it they tend to have a lot of regrets and things that they would ultimately have changed. Most men are never given this opportunity, though they can reflect upon these life lessons for future relationships.
Coming out of a divorce, much of the focus tends to be on the woman and how difficult this life transition is for her. Though she definitely bears the brunt of it in some ways, men have a lot to contend with in terms of figuring out how to avoid these common mistakes moving forward. Here are some practical marriage advice and tips from divorced men.
Sometimes You Have To Learn The Hard Way
Things didn’t work out in the marriage, and though that definitely took two people, the man so often has a wishlist of things that he would like to do over again. It is out of that mindset and the lessons that we learn in life that men can gather some common and helpful tips for others who can hopefully avoid the same path.
Divorced men are often a great source of useful information for they see what happened, where they went wrong, and how the relationship broke down. It is unfortunately not often that the man realizes this until it’s too late—but this does present some really great advice! These tips are meant to help a man take notice of what he has currently, and to avoid ever losing that and heading down the path to divorce.
Learning to really love and appreciate your woman and the relationship is what it’s all about, and here are the most epic marriage tips or divorce advice for men from those who know what it means to lose it all!
1. Make time for her and make her a true priority:
This is an important marriage advice for men. No matter how busy life may get or how busy you may be, always make time for her. Make her a priority and don’t ever let her feel like a chore. The more time that you put into the relationship and helping her to realize her worth to you, the stronger this will make your bond. Remember to make time to talk to each other every single day, and always let her know that she matters greatly to you!2. Be sure that you make her feel loved, and never assume that she knows:
Far too many men assume that their wife knows how he feels, but you need to tell her that. Say “I love you” often and mean it! Let her feel just how important she is to you by the way that you talk to her, think of her, and act with her. The more that you show her the love, the more that she will realize that she is truly one of the most important things in your life. Don’t just assume it, but live it each and every day.
3. Learn the power of patience:
Marriage is work but it’s so worth it in the end. Be patient with her, be respectful to her both in the way that you talk and the way that you act. Never let your temper get the better of you or talk badly to her, for you will regret it. Your job is to build her up not tear her down, so remember that patience and respect go a long way in keeping her happy.4. Never stop dating:
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, always make the courtship a priority. Always go out on dates and make time for each other on a one on one basis. This may not always be easy but it pays off in that you can fall in love with one another often. Remember why you are together and dating is an excellent way to get away from everything and do just that!
5. Always make it your job to help her feel important:
Though you need the same from her, it’s imperative that you help her to feel important. Listen to her, support her, love her, and just be there for her. You may not always know the right thing to say or have a solution, but just help her to feel important through your love and support—she will come to really appreciate this and she’ll reciprocate it too.
6. Be present:
Don’t just go through the motions or half listen to her, but rather be there for her and live in the moment. There are always going to be a million things to do but be present so that she knows that you are actively listening to her. Respond to her, talk to her, and don’t always focus on the past or the future—live in the present and it will do a lot to make her realize how invested into the relationship you are.
7. Allow yourself to be vulnerable when necessary:
Don’t always be on guard for sometimes being vulnerable is in order. It’s fine to be strong but let her see your soft side too. Let yourself feel and show that emotion in front of her, and don’t always be afraid of getting hurt or you might just miss out on some great moments with her. Let her see every side of you and she will fall in love with you often.
8. Learn to laugh together, especially at the small things:
The couple that laughs together stays together, and it pays to remember that. Not everything that happens to you in life is a big thing, so learn to shrug the smaller things off. Have a sense of humor and laugh together often, and it will help to strengthen the bond that you share.
Here are a couple of additional points to remember:
- Always practice forgiveness: Remember that you will make mistakes, in the course of the marriage, and so will she. Don’t make too big of those mistakes or blame her constantly. Practice forgiveness in your marriage; meaning don’t hold on to those mistakes forever. Learn from those past errors and move forward together. This will create a healthy environment for your marriage to grow and thrive.
- Give her ample space to be what she wants to be: Women need time and space to nurture themselves. Give her that space – encourage her to pursue her dreams, look her best, go out with her friends when she wants to or do things that she’d rather do alone. Tell her to take time out for herself to feel renewed and refreshed. You will be amazed at how much this will help your marriage!
In the end it’s about being yourself, being open, and helping her to realize the love that you feel for her. Though men who have been through a divorce can’t change things in the past, they can certainly learn what they would do differently the next time around. These tips can help any man to help a woman to feel appreciated, and therefore enjoy a loving relationship moving forward.