Nothing is more exciting than thinking of spending the rest of your life with “the one.” I know for sure that every one of us holds an ideal scenario of what the future will be together with the person we love.
But let me tell you this. Married life is not always going to be easy. There would be a lot that you would learn as you embark upon this journey.
However, before entering into a marriage, if you can grasp the essence of certain concepts that enrich your marital relationship, you can resolve many conflicts with ease and even avoid them.
That is why some pre-marriage advice is much more valuable than any wedding present listed on the gift registry.
Here is some premarital advice from successful married couples on things to consider before getting married.
1. Be financially prepared
Being financially stable before deciding to get married is very important in starting a family. Moreover, learning how to manage your expenses before marriage can subsequently increase your chances of getting married.
The findings from a study depicted that couples practicing financial integration before marriage, such as buying a house together or sharing mortgages, increased the likelihood of marriage.
Marriage is expensive, especially when you’re just starting. The wedding alone will take its toll on your bank account. You need to know where you’re getting your next meal from.
Establishing an abundant checking account is a must.
You have to secure your mortgage or rent payment ahead of time.
You also have to settle your debts or make the proper loan arrangements before going into marriage.
Most importantly, you have to have sufficient savings for unforeseen expenses and emergencies.
That is why part of a harmonious marriage is sharing the bills and being capable of paying your part of the dues.
2. Talk about family planning
Agreeing about whether or not you should have children is a very crucial step to take before getting married. Ask yourselves and let your partner know, “Do I want to have kids or none?”
While procreation may not be the main reason why you are marrying, it is still important to address this question to avoid any kind of argument on this matter.
Do you want to have many children or just one? Do you want to have it soon or in three years’ time? Do you want to bear your own or adopt?
You have to be transparent about where your mind is at when talking about kids. It is not wise to avoid this conversation when you get the slightest hint that both of you are not on the same page.
3. Be patient with your partner
“Be patient” is advice before marriage that seems too cliched or commonsensical. However, being reminded to be patient with your partner is something you should not take for granted.
Marriage is hard. It will test you and your relationship. Your partner may be the best person you know, but at some point in the marriage, he or she will disappoint you. It sounds rough, but it’s true.
You just have to remember that nobody is perfect. You have to be very patient and understanding whenever you start feeling like he or she is starting to get in your nerves.
4. Learn about his/her family background
Your partner’s family background will tell you a lot about who he or she is as a person. In most cases, a person’s behavior roots from his or her childhood experiences or the way he or she was raised.
Even without actual intervention from future in-laws, Mommy and Daddy issues can still affect your relationship with each other. Aside from this, you should also be aware of how close they are as a family.
Is your future husband a “mama’s boy”? Is your future wife an only child who is primarily responsible for taking care of her sick parents?
Remember, when you are marrying your partner, you are also marrying his or her family.
5. Let each other do their own thing
Each of you has their interests that the other does not enjoy. This should not be the reason for you to fight. Instead, it is where you learn to compromise.
First of all, do not force your partner to be part of all your activities. Learn to do your own thing and let your partner do his.
If your future wife likes to spend some quality time with her girlfriends occasionally, you don’t always have to be there on their girls’ night out.
If your future husband wants to watch pay per view boxing on a sports bar, you do not have to grudgingly come with him.
In short, you do not have to be together all the time. You are your own individual with different likes and dislikes, and you should respect that.
Also, watch why needing space is in relationships not a bad thing.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.