It is in our human nature to consider yourself first before other people. However, this rule does not fully apply when in a relationship. If you want your relationship to be successful and stand the test of time, you need to rewrite the script by being selfless.
In this post, you will learn how to be selfless in a relationship and enjoy your partner and union.
What does selflessness mean in a relationship?
If you have ever asked what does selflessness mean, you need to note that it is an act of being sacrificial without expecting any favors. This implies that you would think of your partner first before considering yourself.
Similarly, it also means that you would see your partner as the first person in the relationship while you come second.
In this research study by Nicolas Pellerin and other authors, you will learn how to be selfless and happy. This study is titled Selflessness and Happiness in Everyday life and its lessons/content are off an experience sampling method.
Is being selfless in a relationship good?
There are many reasons on why is selflessness important. First off, it helps you give excuses for your partner when they wrong you.
This helps to prevent conflicts in the long run. Also, being selfless makes your partner happy, and they will be encouraged to reciprocate.
When you are selfless in a relationship, your perspective to love will change because you will wake up each day motivated to put a smile on your partner’s face.
One of the best ways on how to be selfless in a relationship is to always put your partner first. Before considering yours, you need to consider your partner’s needs and wants. To be selfless means having the notion that your partner has to be satisfied and happy.
Hence, you will always put yourself in your partner’s shoes to know what they are feeling and how you can help.
If you are wondering if you can be too selfless, check out this research article by Elizabeth Hopper. This article gives you tips on how to be selfless towards your partner by respecting their needs.
If you want to have a long-lasting relationship, one of the ways to achieve this is by being selfless. Many successful relationships could stand the test of time because the partners were selfless.
Here are some ways on how to be selfless in a relationship
1. Have the right mindset
When you are in a relationship, you need to remember that the world does not revolve around you. Rather, you have a partner that you are committed to. Hence, you should also care about their feelings and emotions before making any decision.
If you have needs and wants that you need to settle, remember that the same applies to your partner. As you always consider your partner, you will display true selfless love meaning.
Similarly, if you want to watch movies with your partner and they prefer a certain one, don’t turn down their request. You indirectly encourage your partner to be equally selfless when you do this regularly.
Another way on how to be selfless in a relationship is to always try to see things from your partner’s view. When your partner complains about something, you don’t have to oppose them. Rather, try to reflect on what they are saying to understand them.
Likewise, if they have an opinion about anything, they deserve the full right to be heard and understood. When you are a selfless person, it gives your partner the chance to air their opinions.
4. Practice forgiveness
If you find it hard to forgive, you might not know how to be selfless in a relationship. When your partner offends you, always try to forgive even though it is very difficult and painful.
You need to remember that you might be in their position tomorrow where you would need their forgiveness. Therefore, practicing how to love selflessly requires learning to forgive your partner.
Watch this video by Coach Natalie, Relationship Expert, on how to forgive and move forward in a relationship:
5. Be authentic
If you are learning how to be selfless in a relationship, one of the things to avoid is not expecting anything in return. When you do anything good to your partner, it should be done without expecting a reward.
6. Don’t remind them of the favors you’ve done for them
Another way to be selfless in a relationship is to avoid gaslighting your partner by reminding them of the good things you’ve done. Doing this implies that you want them to treat you with kid gloves since you’ve done something nice for them before.
Even when you think your partner is acting ungratefully, don’t be quick to remind them of your good deeds.
7. Appreciate them genuinely
When it comes to being selfless in a relationship, one of the tips to apply is to appreciate your partner genuinely. If your partner does something for you, no matter how little, thank them for it. Show your partner that you are happy with them and appreciate their effort to make you smile.
8. Go the extra mile for them
Sometimes, what separates a successful relationship from a broken one is the ability to go the extra mile for each other. If you want to know how to be selfless in a relationship, learn to go the extra mile.
Doing this regularly will leave your partner shocked, and they will be in your debt. When you do beyond the normal for your partner, you will learn to love them more.
9. Be a great listener
When it comes to practicing selflessness in relationships, one of the ways to go about it is by being a great listener. If your partner is having a conversation with you, it is important to go beyond just hearing; you need to listen to them.
When you listen to your partner, you will be able to filter the important and subtle aspects of the conversation.
10. Perform acts of kindness daily
One of the ways on how to be selfless in a relationship is to practice this hack. When you wake up each day, make it a goal to perform at least one act of kindness to your partner.
You need to bear in mind that this would go a long way to put a smile on their faces. Additionally, it would encourage them to reciprocate, thereby making your relationship healthy.
11. Give compliments instead of criticisms
If your partner does something unpleasant, find a way to compliment them instead of harshly criticising them. Also, if you must correct them, it is advisable to apply constructive criticism instead of destructive criticism. This will help you separate the act from the individual.
12. Give to charity
To be selfless in a relationship can be reinforced with external activities. One of such ways is by giving to charity.
When you help the less privileged, you position your heart to be kind and love selflessly. Giving to charity is one of the ways we’re reminded that everyone deserves love.
13. Be patient with your partner
If you have asked what does being selfless mean? One of the ways to answer this is by displaying patience. Your partner might take a long time to adjust to something, and you have to be patient with them.
Being patient with your spouse helps you to be more selfless because you can better understand what they are experiencing.
Being selfless in a relationship requires being at peace with your partner’s friends and family. This means that you accept your spouse’s loved ones as yours. Hence, anything you do for your family and friends will replicate for them.
Your partner would most likely be happy with your character and want to do the same in most cases.
15. Accept your partner’s flaws
Accepting your partner for who they are is another way on how to be selfless in a relationship. Everyone is flawed. It takes love and selflessness to overlook and avoid judging people for their imperfections.
Therefore, always be ready to accept your spouse’s flaws even when it doesn’t sit well with you. You can be sure that they will do the same for you with this selfless act.
To prevent selfishness from destroying the union with your partner, check out this book by Jane Greer titled: What About Me? This book helps you become more selfless so that you can keep your relationship in one piece.
If you don’t know how to be selfless in a relationship, this article has given you the right ideas to get started. One thing to note is, if you are selfless to your partner, your relationship has a higher chance of lasting.
If you want to learn how to apply these tips the ideal way, you can reach out to a relationship counselor or take a related course to get started.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.