Maybe you are being gaslighted by someone close to you. Gaslighting is common in intimate relationships, the workplace, and even in society.
To avoid experiences of gaslighting in relationships, it is essential to overview signs of gaslighting and understand the psychology behind gaslighting in relationships.
Gaslighting typically happens gradually in any relationship, and things may seem harmless at first. The abused partner may remain completely oblivious to the signs of gaslighting at first.
This article will discuss signs of gaslighting to help you come out of the gaslighting abuse and reestablish your lost self-belief.
What is gaslighting in relationships?
Gaslighting refers to a technique in which a person makes a victim continuously question their reality to gain increasing power.
Often, it is practiced by entities as well. Plus, it is quite an effective technique.
Anyone can become a victim of gaslighting, and it is commonly used by cult leaders, narcissists, dictators, and abusers.
However, since it is done gradually, the victim hardly realizes that they have been brainwashed.
Gaslighting in relationships is a psychological method to manipulate another individual’s thoughts by seeding doubts to create a delusion.
It is done to gradually create a different perception of the world based on the controller’s interpretation. Gaslighting in relationships sounds like an espionage weapon used during a psywar operation. In a way, it is.
What does gaslighting mean, and why do people do it? Civilizations are built upon relationships between people, structured for organization and control. Some people want to be the ones in control.
You can spot it with a few evident signs of gaslighting that will help you spot and shut out gaslighting.
Some of these signs of gaslighting in a relationship include:
1. Lies, lies, and lies
The person taking part in gaslighting often only tells blatant lies, and you’re aware that whatever they’re spewing out of their mouth is a blatant lie. Yet, they continue to lie to you while keeping a straight face.
However, this is their technique of gaslighting in relationships. They’re setting up a precedent, so once they lie to you, you’ll have your doubts.
You won’t be sure if whatever they say is true or not. Their primary goal of gaslighting in marriage or a relationship is to keep you unsteady and doubtful.
This only increases your sense of uneasiness and makes you believe that they aren’t too bad.
However, this is the worst of techniques.
Throwing in positive reinforcement only throws you off the radar and makes you question your reality again.
Plus, whatever they praised you for is also important to note. It might just serve the gaslighter.
7. They use confusion as people’s weakness
Entities and people that use gaslighting techniques are aware that people love having their sense of normalcy and stability.
For this reason, their primary goal is to uproot the state of normalcy and question everything continuously.
It is human nature to look up to the person who helps you feel stable, and that person happens to be the gaslighter.
8. They use leverage
They will hold what you hold dear hostage and will not hesitate to use them if you do not adhere to what they want you to do.
9. Battle of wills
They will try to wear you down over time. You will slowly start to lose the will to fight or question what they are doing wrong.
10. They will use positive and negative reinforcement
When they want to control you, they will do something or the other to make it happen. They will use positive and negative reinforcement – anything that works to have some control over you.
11. They project
They project their insecurities, thoughts, and problems in their behavior towards you. This keeps you defensive and perpetually anxious about their actions.
12. They isolate you
One of the clear signs of gaslighting is when they isolate you from the people closest to you. They tell you things about them that make you question your relationship and trust with them. They do not let you communicate or hang out with these people, gradually causing you to isolate yourself from them.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.