Most people desire a happy, lifelong relationship with someone they love and enjoy spending time with, but finding that sort of relationship can be challenging. Do you find yourself looking for reasons to stay in a relationship?
While some relationships are meant to last a lifetime, others may not pass the test of time. In some cases, you may invest time and effort in a relationship, only to find yourself in a predicament of not knowing if this is the relationship for you.
Ending a relationship is rarely easy. If you wonder if your relationship is right for you, you may be interested in the reasons to stay in a relationship below.
What matters the most in a relationship?
Before learning about reasons for staying together, it’s important to consider what matters most in a relationship. While the definition of the ideal relationship will vary from person to person, ultimately, what matters is that the relationship meets your needs.
If the relationship and your partner meet your needs for companionship and security, and the relationship is free from abuse, the specifics are not as important. All of these are good reasons to date someone.
Beyond meeting your needs, most experts agree that conflict management is important in a relationship. This means that you and your partner can effectively manage disagreements without becoming abusive toward each other or creating a hostile environment in which you resent each other.
Finally, having shared values is also important since two people in a committed relationship will spend their lives together and need to agree on hot-button issues, such as managing money and having children.
30 reasons to stay in a relationship
If your relationship meets your core needs, but you are still asking yourself, “Should I stay in my relationship?” you may be going through a rough patch with your partner. It could be that you have been together for a significant period but feel that the relationship is not progressing to marriage.
Whatever the case, here are some good reasons to stay together. Consider the 30 reasons below before you make up your mind:
1. A future together
All relationships go through rough patches, but breaking up might not be the best choice if you can see a future together. Picture your life a few years down the road. You can give up on temporary feelings and arguments, to work towards the happy future that you can envision together.
Can you imagine life without your partner? If not, your vision of a future together is one of the crucial reasons to stay in a relationship. The big picture can inspire you towards sorting out things that may not be right.
2. Emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is an integral part of a healthy relationship. If you feel close to your partner and can share everything with them, treating this as one of the reasons to stay in a relationship makes sense.
Psychotherapist Robert Augustus Masters, in his book ‘Emotional Intimacy,’ mentions the importance of emotional intimacy that links feelings, emotions, and hearts together. It takes time to build this intimacy and is an important factor when finding reasons to stay in a relationship.
3. Temporary rough patch
Suppose you’re experiencing tough times in your relationship. In that case, it can be easy to give up and tell yourself that the relationship isn’t right. But giving up an otherwise happy relationship because of a temporary rough patch can lead to regret.
Perhaps for a struggling relationship advice can make a difference, or working with a counselor can help resolve whatever temporary issues are causing the two of you to drift apart.
4. Happy most of the time
You may be stuck on slight differences between you and your significant other. Still, if the relationship mostly brings happiness to your life, this is a good reason to date someone instead of ending the relationship.
Among the top reasons to be with someone is that you love them. At the end of the day, despite any imperfections, love can keep two people together.
Conflicts become a test for whether marriages or relationships can last. Studies have shown that whether love is allowed to determine the direction of a conflict can directly affect the success of a marriage.
6. For the children
Many times, when people feel they have grown apart in a relationship, they may stay together so that their children do not have to grow up in a broken home.
Research into the psychological effects of marital disputes on children has observed that children do better when the parents continue to make things work. Divorce, when handled poorly, can result in a lot of difficult emotions or traumas.
7. No one is perfect
When you’re in a relationship, it is easy to want to change your partner and make them into the perfect person that you want them to be. When they fall short of expectations, you may be tempted to leave the relationship, but the reality is that no one is perfect.
Walking away from a relationship because of your partner’s imperfections is not likely to bring long-term happiness, as your next partner will also have flaws. And you do too!
8. Financials tied together
Staying in a relationship for financial reasons is not uncommon. You may have a shared bank account or a house together, or you may rely upon your partner for financial support. This can make it difficult to leave.
9. Relationships take work
If you’re wondering how to stay in a relationship, the answer is that you have to put in the work to make the relationship thrive over time. Love is not easy, and it requires you to constantly work to compromise with your partner and consider their needs.
10. Communication works
If you’re in a healthy relationship and you love your partner, one of the reasons to stay in a relationship is that communication can improve many problems you may be having. Instead of walking away, focus on being vulnerable with your partner and communicating your needs.
11. Temporary excitement
Things are new and exciting at the beginning of a relationship, and we get butterflies anytime we see our partner. Over time, these feelings of excitement fade. It can be tempting to leave a relationship and seek out the excitement of something new.
But if lack of freshness is your only reason for leaving a relationship, you will surely be disappointed because the excitement in any relationship fades over time.
12. No magical happiness with someone else
When a relationship becomes boring, or you start to encounter difficulties, it’s easy to imagine being with someone else and experiencing the perfect relationship. Still, the truth is that all relationships have rough patches.
Don’t leave your relationship just because you think you’ll be happy elsewhere. The chances are that you’ll take some of the same issues into the new relationship, repeating the same cycle.
13. Partner’s personality
Looks may initially attract someone, but a long-term relationship requires an emotional connection and friendship between two people. If you enjoy your partner’s personality and genuinely like who they are as a person, this is one of the reasons to be in a relationship with them.
Most people seek a sense of safety and security in their relationship. If a relationship provides you with comfort, it is probably a good sign that you should stick around.
Comfort exists only with someone who makes you feel safe and accepted. It is a sign of a healthy relationship. If you are comfortable in your partner’s presence, it could be an emotional reason to stay in the relationship.
Even if you’re going through a rough patch, if you and your partner are compatible, you should be able to work out your differences and keep the relationship alive. A compatible partnership is one of the key reasons to stay in a relationship.
Compatibility indicates chemistry between a couple and helps understand how well they get along with each other. It is the foundation of any healthy relationship as it helps drive the relationship forward through its many phases.
16. Caring for your partner
Investing time in a relationship means that you will come to care for your partner. Leaving may seem like a good option when things get tough, but your care for your partner can be one of the reasons to stay in the relationship.
It’s no secret that relationships take work, and over time, the initial physical attraction that led you to each other may fade. If you find that you still have a strong attraction to your partner after years together, staying in the relationship makes sense.
18. Long-term picture
If you’re questioning if staying in a relationship is right for you, consider whether the relationship makes sense over the long term. Do you have shared goals for the future? Does your partner seem like they would make a good spouse?
If the answers to these questions are yes, staying and fighting to save the relationship seems like the best option. Please try to make the big picture act as one of the important reasons to stay in a relationship.
19. No desire for change
Deciding to end a long-term relationship is not easy, as it means significant changes will come. You may have become used to a life together with your partner, where everything is interlinked. A parting would ensure significant alteration to this way of life.
You may have to move to a new house or experience being on your own for the first time in years. If you have no desire to undergo these changes, it’s probably time to learn how to stay in a healthy relationship instead of ending things.
20. Optimistic about the future
If you’re at a crossroads where you’re unsure if you should continue your relationship, consider how you feel about the future. If you’re optimistic that things will improve down the road, this is another one of the top reasons to stay in a relationship.
21. Enjoying the routine
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably established pretty consistent routines about who handles chores, what dates look like, and how day-to-day life is managed. Giving up on the relationship can mean letting go of your usual routine and completely changing your day-to-day activities.
If you enjoy the routine established in the relationship, the idea of starting over from square one will probably deter you from leaving a relationship. The schedule might be a habit that you are unwilling to break.
22. Time put into the relationship
Investing time in a relationship can mean that you’ve spent years creating a life together. If this is the case, ending the relationship to start over on your own may not make sense. Sometimes, the time you’ve invested together can give you the motivation to continue to fight to make the relationship work.
23. No desire for anyone else
Your relationship may not be perfect, but if you stop to think and realize that you wouldn’t ever want to be with anyone else, you may be better off seeking advice on staying in a long relationship instead of deciding to end things.
24. Leaving is the easy way out
Sometimes people find themselves in a situation where there are problems in the relationship, but instead of communicating and solving those problems, they exit the partnership. Walking away is simply the easy way out when in reality, little communication could solve the problems.
25. Nourishing the relationship works
Don’t throw out a long-term relationship just because things have gotten tough. Instead, take time to nourish the relationship and watch it blossom. Go the extra mile to make your partner happy by complimenting them or spending some time with them to turn things around for the better.
26. Conflict management needed
Managing conflict can be challenging, and it may not be that the relationship is all wrong. It could just be that you and your partner need to learn more effective ways of resolving your differences to shine through the good parts of the relationship.
27. Common values
Being on the same page about parenting, lifestyle, religion, and finances is important, and it can be challenging to find someone who shares most of these values with you. If you’re in a healthy relationship and the two of you have values in common, it’s probably worth fighting to stay together.
28. Comic relief
There is no benefit to taking life too seriously, so if you’ve found a long-term partner who has a sense of humor, this can be a reason to stay in a relationship. Being able to laugh together helps you get through rough patches in life and brings you closer together.
People often find themselves growing bored in relationships because their passion has faded over time. If you still feel that strong sense of passion with your partner after all your time together, this is a relationship you want to hold onto, even when the going gets tough.
It can be hard to come by a loyal partner. If you and your partner are going through challenging times, but you have always managed to be loyal to one another, it is worth staying in a relationship and working through your struggles together.
Watch this video to learn more about whether you have reasons to stay in a relationship:
Long-term relationships require hard work and commitment, and sometimes, after people have been together for years, they may wonder if the relationship is right for them. Maybe they’ve become bored with each other or are stuck in a rough patch where conflict is more common.
Whatever the case, there are ways to decide if you should stay or leave the relationship. If the relationship is healthy and you’ve developed a strong emotional bond and a happy life together, there are many reasons to stay in a relationship.
On the other hand, if the relationship is no longer working and there isn’t any sign of improvement, it may be time to consider leaving. Ultimately, if you are struggling to find reasons to stay in a relationship, it may be beneficial to work with a counselor to find answers to your questions.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation for a Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology. She has worked in the social work field for 8 years and is currently a professor at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness.
Licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and school social worker through Ohio Department of Education as well as a personal trainer through American Council on Exercise.